Ankle injury update

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

Day three of the Laurell K. Hamilton ankle injury, and yes folks we have another update. 

Blog Entry found here: http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2008/06/splint.html

Got into see the orthopedist yesterday. I’m off crutches, and in a splint. 
Here's my question. Does that mean she's walking around on an ace bandage? Does that mean our special snowflake wasn't  gravely injured, bravely soldiering on in the face of insurmountable odds? Say it isn't so. 

She wanted to give me more pain meds, but due to stomach difficulties, I can’t have most of them. So, I’m pretty much on Tylenol. No, it doesn’t take all the pain away. The only med I can have, actually only takes the edge off, and it makes me sleepy, so I haven’t taken it today. 
It seems that the million aliments of Mz. Hamilton continue. Painkillers make her sick and sleepy. OMG what a surprise! Because, you know, the rest of us are bright-eyed and bushy tailed on narcotics. 

Do I hurt? Yes.
But our brave, brave Lady Authoress soldiers through pain to give us: But I have five pages of Merry. The final battle in this book is well underway.  And she's gifted us with at least one sentence fragment. 

I thought I was doing pretty well with the crutches, but Jon informed me, that maybe I wasn’t doing as well as I thought I was doing. He described my progress through the house thus:

He said, "I’d hear you, and think, she’s doing pretty good. Then, bang, "Ow, f**ck." Then the sound of me moving forward, then, bang, "Ow, f**ck!" Just repeat that part over and over. 

Yeah-that will help the sprain heal. My doctor always recommends blunt force trauma for my strains and sprains.

Comments

[sharkbytes.livejournal.com]

Best quote of the entry: One of the reasons that Jon and I work as a couple is that he doesn’t let me get too full of myself, and he makes me laugh while he does it.

Um yeah. She could change the title of her blog to, 'This is the blog of someone who is most certainly not full of herself' and she'd still be the most full of herself person on the internet. If her head gets any bigger, she'll have to register it with NASA.

[dreamstrifer.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I saw that and literally burst out laughing. I scared my cat.

[christraven.livejournal.com]

Laurell K. Hamilton's ego: The largest free-standing object on Earth.

[deadroman.livejournal.com]

Yay, comma abuse!

And since when is f**ck a five-letter word?

Did she ever explain HOW she sprained her leg? It's so weird how she didn't even mentioned what happened. It's all about complaining about the pain and why she can't take medication...

[deadroman.livejournal.com]

*mention. :P Lol, it's so late. I can hardly see what I'm typing.

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

Nope. The speculation ranges from the mundane (i.e. she fell on the dog) to the absurd (BSDM research gone awry.)

[jeza-red.livejournal.com]

'cos fu*king in Anita's world always takes longer than humanly possible? O_o

[mr-spivens.livejournal.com]

Hi there! I've been lurking around since a couple of months ago, when my friends told me to go read some LKH and my instinctive reaction was there must be somebody on the internet who knows how crap these books are and I found you guys.

So, a) you are funny, and b) I do not understand what's going on with the braces and the crutches, etc. In April I broke three metatarsals in my foot and I was told that now the common medical wisdom is not to split, brace, or cast anything that isn't a completely broken foot/ankle bone, and that crutches are only given when completely necessary since they tend to cause the patient to injure other muscles. For my three hairline fractures I was given a sturdy Ace bandage and told to walk on the heel and attempt to keep my walk as close to my natural walk at possible. You get splints and crutches for soft tissue injuries like tearing ligaments, not twisting ankles.

Oh, the drama.

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

I think that she probably has a simple sprain and an ace bandage and has managed to convince herself that she's massively injured. If she had a serious injury she'd make Jonboi carry her to and from her desk.

[slayra.livejournal.com]

Welcome to LKH_Lashouts! ^^

Well, she does say this on day 2:
Bad news, that means it’s probably soft tissue damage.

Don't know if it's just her guessing or a real diagnostic. Since she is TEH queen of all knowledge, I'd say... yeah, it's probably a guess and not a real medical diagnostic.
Because Anita Blake is always bleeding from somewhere so she had to do that much research and if the world was fair she could almost be an MD, so she knows these things. :p

She is quite the drama queen, yes.

[astronauta.livejournal.com]

I want to believe that the reason she isn't on pain killers is because the doctors believe she doesn't need them.

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

I had a partial knee replacement (because-I swear to God-my dog tripped me) and I got one week of Vicodin and then I was on Advil and Mobic. So you're probably right.

[sadlikeknives.livejournal.com]

Probably. When I tore my ligaments I was told to take Advil.

[slayra.livejournal.com]

I'm guessing you're right... :p

[sadlikeknives.livejournal.com]

Do I hurt? Yes. But I have five pages of Merry.

I've torn the ligaments in my ankle three times. Beyond that, I was in a wheelchair for a month, then on crutches for another month, in high school after I burned my feet in a car accident. You bet your ass that hurt, but you know what took my mind off the pain? Doing something else besides thinking about how much it hurt. Something like, oh, I don't know, writing.

So I am confused as to why a professional author would suggest that her pain must be bravely soldiered through to meet her page count for the day, and that this is such a hardship, until I remember that oh wait, this is LKH.

Too bad she's only on Tylenol. Some Vicodin-influenced writing could only improve the book.

Although I must point out, just being off crutches doesn't necessarily mean it's not that big a deal. Depending on where and what the injury is it may be handled very differently. The 'splint' might, depending on what she means by 'splint.' When I tore my ligaments the most severe time, I had to stay the fuck off it for a while, but I was in a plastic splint with gel pads (not an ace bandage; I got an ace bandage the other times). But when my riding teacher got her foot stomped on and had some pretty damn broken bones, she was put in a removable walking cast, no crutches. Although in her case there was her profession to consider. "Has to care for 15 horses every day" is not at all the same as "sits on her ass and types."

I'm betting on ignominious injury, though, just because she's not addressing how she got injured that I've seen, while she shares every other stupid detail of her personal life, and it can be stupidly easy to wound yourself. Like so: the second time I tore ligaments, I did so by tripping while making my bed.

[mitrian.livejournal.com]

I'd think Advil would be a better choice - it's an anti-inflammatory, and would likely be helpful for soft-tissue damage.

And fwiw, I once broke two toes tripping over my cat.

[christraven.livejournal.com]

OMG what a surprise! Because, you know, the rest of us are bright-eyed and bushy tailed on narcotics.

You know, I think the entire medical industry would collectively shit themselves if someone managed to come up with this very thing.

Of course, in all seriousness, I have to double up on Percoset whenever it's prescribed for an injury because I seem to have this weird-arse tolerance to it. Dilaudid or Vicodin on the other hand..... Yum.

[booster-blue.livejournal.com]

DON'T SUGGEST IT.

She just might do it. And the blog about it.

[easol.livejournal.com]

The irony of this whole situation is that most of us consider leg/foot injuries a time to basically sit back, let the leg heal, and regularly whine for some accompanying person to bring us lemonade/a pillow/the remote/a new DVD/a book/etc.

Now LKH, who wants to be treated that way ALL the time, is barging around on said foot and insisting she doesn't want pampering from her pet hubby, whose entire purpose it is to pamper her. The weirdness is overwhelming.

[slayra.livejournal.com]

And let's not forget the irony of "Jon making sure she doesn't get too full of herself". I kind of doubt that. I think Jon has no such influence, on the contrary. :p

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

I have lymphedema tarda. I wear knee-high Comprilan bandages all day and all night every day to compress the swelling in both legs. I also have to use a lymphatic pump to force the lymphatic fluid in my legs to circulate and to push the excess proteins out of my legs up to my kidneys. This involves putting what looks like puffy blue vinyl Barbie go-go boots on my legs and turning on a machine that applies sixty to seventy pounds of pressure to both legs for at least four hours a day. This is necessary--otherwise the legs would swell to an agonizing, crippling and life-threatening degree.

And LKH is whining about needing PAIN MEDS for a sprained ankle.

Laurell, honey, I don't use pain meds. And I can tell you how to avoid them, too. Ready? Here's the advice:

IF YOUR ANKLE IS SWOLLEN AND SORE, STOP WALKING.

Really. Rest. Put your feet up. Write on your laptop, if you have one, in bed. Give the ankle two or three days to heal.

You do not need crutches.

You do not need pain meds.

What you need to do is to stop aggravating the injury that you have. If this is a question of torn ligaments rather than a sprain--and I've had both--you could be doing permanent damage to your ankle by not giving it a chance to heal.

And if you don't want to think that way...well, just focus on this De-motivator:

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

Ouch! I feel for you. And I love the picture

[icecreamempress.livejournal.com]

"f**ck"?

What is she saying? "Flock"? "Frick"? "Frack"? "Flack"? "Flick"? "Foock"?

[othellia.livejournal.com]

To give LKH some credit, crutches suck. I was on them for a couple days when I sprained my hip back in seventh grade. (I was twirling around on a sidewalk, stepped off the edge, and fell.) By the second day my arms were exhausted and hurting almost more than my hip, and I swore to myself I'd rather hop around campus on one foot than go through another of crutches. Then again... my campus was pretty big, had five different levels, and sometimes took more than five minutes to get from class to class on those blasted crutches.

But really, if I had the option to not go to class and sit down all day and type out a porn novel, I WOULD HAVE. It's like she's torturing herself on purpose. D:

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

Ok, having never hurt my ankles, I don't know much about her pain. However, my sister did have major surgery done on both her feet (to saw down a funny bone formation). She was on crutches and pain meds for a bit. Even she knew that she shouldn't walk on the foot that was bandaged. And trust me, she's about LKH's height, and she could manage to hobble on crutches, go to work, go to school and maintain her life with 100% less whining.

Now, me, the worst pain I've ever been in was last year when I tore and pulled every muscle in my back after a bad accident (I'm just glad I'm the only person physically injured in that and it wasn't anything I couldn't handle). I couldn't move I was in so much pain. They gave me pain killers, muscle relaxents and IB profren 800mg. I never filled the pain killer perscription (hates them), I only took my relaxers for one day since they knocked me flat on my butt and I had to still work. The IB profren, however, works miracles. She should get that stuff. It doesn't put you to sleep and you won't feel any pain for a long time.

Just on that alone, I was able to start working again two days after the accident (even though my doctor said I should have taken a month off). And I'm a cashier, so it was already hell on my back. So, if I can work through that, she can sit on her behind and write.

Woman, sit down and stop moving!

[entropyastaroth.livejournal.com]

I can't believe that what bothers me the most is that she can't curse properly. You write porn woman! And constantly share brain damaging tidbits of your sexlife. You can write fuck in your blog.

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

My personal feeling is that if you can't write the word "fuck," you shouldn't write about people fucking.

[fadeinthewash.livejournal.com]

He said, "I’d hear you, and think, she’s doing pretty good. Then, bang, "Ow, f**ck." Then the sound of me moving forward, then, bang, "Ow, f**ck!" Just repeat that part over and over.

Bwahahahaha! Ohhhh...*wipes tear from eye* Hahaha! Ow, my schadenfreude.

[red-rose-remix.livejournal.com]

The untold story:

She tried pain meds -- loopiness inducers -- for the first twelve hours. The bang, "Ow, f**ck" was actually because she was walking repeatedly into a wall, convinced it would step aside for her Royal Highness as all things should. She was too drugged up to realize this was faultier logic than usual, and after ten minutes Jonboi began to worry about potential brain damage.