Site/Merch flog

[dwg.livejournal.com]

One of my friends IM'd me and we got to discussing Kim Harrison vs LKH - he was feeling all special that Harrison replied to his guestbook entry, and then I lead him to the trauma of the scary LKH image on the official site.

That's when he pointed out the Micah merch:



The question to me was, "When did Micah get wolf eyes?"

...to be honest, he totally has a point. I mean, I can see that it's meant to be leopard eyes, but only if a leopard suddenly skipped over into the canine family and started to stalk pigs and little girls in red. I'm also kinda disturbed by the "Whatever you need" part of the slogan.

I had a bit of a look over on the rest of the shirt range. Ohhh, boy.

For people who are traumatised by the repetitive phrases in the books - you can now get your own Incubus Dreams tour shirt! The slogan isn't about candy, but it's probably the number two most irksome phrase that gets thrown around: "...sweet copper pennies on my tongue."

There are "Asher slept here" and "Jean-Claude slept here" shirts - though, if either of them came over to my house, there really wouldn't be any sleeping going on. And if you take the shirts like those "you are here" signs, it would mean that Asher/JC curled up and went to sleep on your chest. Uhh, a four kilo cat was heavy enough, kthx. Vampires can have the end of the bed.

...and scrolling down, you can see LKH modelling shirts herself. And Jon.

From a design standpoint, I really don't like the fonts on any of the shirts. I keep thinking that I, or my friends, could come up with something classier over a weekend with photoshop and iron-on transfers.

>:)=

Comments

[windiain.livejournal.com]

Dear god, my EYES. And my brain. I have Status Quo (http://www.seeklyrics.com/lyrics/Status-Quo/Whatever-You-Want.html) stuck in my head now. She IS aware those are annoying Status Quo lyrics, right?

Those shirts are mostly fucking tasteless. Except the Guilty Pleasure Staff/Security ones, and even then the font sucks. Gah. I thought the same about photoshop and transfers. My mother could do a better job, and she makes computers explode by looking at them.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I was thinking the same thing about the Guilty Pleasures Staff/Security, but...I hate that font.

[windiain.livejournal.com]

Whoa, and wait... is that two spellings of 'whatever' on that shirt? I'm sure I see 'Whatever', then 'what ever'. Nice to know she can't even be consistent with her merchandise.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Hey, if you really want to get picky? The image URL reads "MichaShirt.jpg"

[windiain.livejournal.com]

*headdesks* Just when you think it can't get any worse...

[in10sity.livejournal.com]

Uhh, a four kilo cat was heavy enough, kthx. Vampires can have the end of the bed.

Okay, I know that I'm overtired, but I can't stop giggling about that. Many thanks for the amusement :)

[dwg.livejournal.com]

No problemo. ;)

I just remember waking up on more than one occasion to a furry face less than an inch from my own face and freaking right out because I could hardly move, or she was on my shoulder and I wound up with a cramp. And all I got from the cat was this, "Be still, fleshbag cushion. I wish to slumber!" attitude. And then she'd drool on me.

[sister-ananke.livejournal.com]

My best friend stopped sleeping at my house after she woke up to my cat on her chest yawning. My cat has a habit of biting if you displease her. So my friend laid stock still until the cat moved then refused to sleep over again.

I loved my cat.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I FAIL AT LIFE!!!one11!

Re: Just pointing this out for amusement purposes

[sweetpirate.livejournal.com]

That is rather amusing though. It's not like anyone got mean either--I believe that everyone who responded to her question tried to articulate exactly what they either agree, or disagree with about the series.


Kinda dissapointing really. I haven't seen a good flame war in awhile over there.
*innocent blink*

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Whoaz. From the comment on the "I QUIT!" post:

They're trying to find ways to justify malicious behavior

Unh-hunh...riiight. Because saying "Dude, the spelling is bad, and the characterisation needs work," is the equivalent of...skinning the family pets in front of LKH's daughter.

[refche.livejournal.com]

I'm absolutely with you on the font hate. OK, I'm with you on everything else, but especially on the awful fonts.

And the whole modeling this is so... trashy. Not that I suddenly started expecting class from LKH, but man, some things are too much.

[tsula.livejournal.com]

oh dear god! People that pasty should not be allowed to wear shorts!

[sweetpirate.livejournal.com]

I'm rather amused that the very first rule on the "Everything I Need To Know About Life I Learned From Reading Anita Blake" shirt is Don't date vampires, kill them

Does it not count because she's technically not dating them? Just fucking?

[dwg.livejournal.com]

But by ID logic, the people she fucks are her boyfriends and thus, are now dating.

...that's not what I like to call logic, here on that crazy planet called Earth.

[dragonfanguk.livejournal.com]

Scrolling through those images, I was, and still am utterly disgusted. I hope to god the woman is relying on her infamy to sell those things because the advertising stinks. Typography is utterly wank...
The photos of clothing only should be on a pure white background... NOT A GODDAM ROCK! and anything after Laurell wearing the "Asher slept here" crap I would never even think of buying simply because the presentation of those items suck. If they were going to rub out the background on them, they should have done it properly.

I also hope that no proffectional web designer did that, because the layout really stinks. Constantly shifting from badly pixelated, badly photographed, and even worse images to the text is making my brain hurt. I am a student of this stuff and I could do it better! There is too much white space in the image section, the font is not particularly friendly to the eye and the "deals" are wanky to boot.

HASH JOB! HASH JOB! HASH JOB!

Her advertising campaign is diabolical! Utterly unproffesional, and something my eleven month old neice could knock up in an hour!

Sorry... I reanted a bit too much there... It just pisses me the hell off that I have paid three thousand pounds to learn this stuff, and some fool with a computer and complete lack of skill can get away from doing this...

There are a thousand other things completely wrong with this page, and thats not including everything mentioned above, but I think my eyeballs are melting now and I do not want to look at that atrocity any longer!

[vanity-lost.livejournal.com]

Sorry, am way late on this, but as a fellow student of such things: A-fucking-men.

Really people, if you are a professional and you want to have a website? Make the website look professional. Don't use stupid animations or annoying dancing faeries or bats. Just don't. They were cute in 1998 for about 30 seconds.

I know a zillion college kids who could make her an insanely better website, make it gorgeous, and do it for very little money.

The merchandise? The merchandise is sloppy, shoddy, and it shows how little respect Laurell has for herself and her product. Do it properly or don't bother.