Official press release

[dwg.livejournal.com]

The official press release is now available on lkh.org!

For the most part, it's just a reiteration of the news that hit yesterday, but with more quotes.

“I’m thrilled to be bringing my characters and world to television for the first time,” stated Hamilton. “After Dark Films, Lionsgate and IFC all push the boundaries on film. I push the boundaries on paper. I can’t wait to see what we can create together.”

[...]

“‘Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter’ marks the first time in IFC tv’s history that we have created a fictional feature film for the network. IFC is appealing to its core base of men ages 18-34 who are looking for vampire content. The popularity of the network in this demographic indicates that there is a clear demand for films that delve into provocative topics and nothing is more classically provocative than vampire lore” said Jennifer Caserta, EVP and general manager of IFC tv. “Anita Blake fits perfectly with our successful original programming.”

It looks like that both LKH and Jon are co-executive producers. I'm afraid that as far as April Fool's pranks go, this one is persistent to the point that it may not be a joke after all.

I'm scared, you guys.

EDIT: In light of The Vampire Diaries pilot potential (warning: spoiler heavy), I want to know just how much of AB:VH is going to be changed around to fit into this 18-34 y/o male demographic. (Needz moar exploshuns?)

Comments

[tooimpurenangel.livejournal.com]

MILLENNIUM HAND AND SHRIMP!

[dwg.livejournal.com]

/o\ this is just feeding my crackish love of craptastic shows that are cancelled (Cleopatra 2525, anyone?) and I get the feeling I'm going to be excited no matter how bad/good this will be.

AND IT'S AIRING NEXT YEAR. BRING ON THE CASTING WAAAANK.

[tooimpurenangel.livejournal.com]

I'm still a-shudder over The Vampire Diaries casting. ALTHOUGH, if they deviate enough, it has the potential to be awesome!

OMG! CLEOPATRA 2525 WAS AWESOME!


I've always loved casting wank for AB:VH, especially for Jean-Claude.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I have The Crow: Stairway to Heaven too. *facepalm* I love it so hard for the badness.

Casting wank will be interesting, because all the people that I remember being thrown around for roles are now too old. Good luck, world, for getting Johnny Depp as JC.

[tooimpurenangel.livejournal.com]

I remember Angelina Jolie for Anita and I think Brad Pitt for Edward.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

And Salma Hayak for Anita! Jared Leto for Jason!

[othellia.livejournal.com]

This is the best part of this entire entry. Completely caught me off guard.

[sadisticsidhe.livejournal.com]

Not going to lie, I hope that they make Laughing Corpse into a movie, and just Laughing Corpse because that was an awesome book. I don't think I can see Richard on the screen and not sob at how his character will be beaten into oblivion in later books.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Laughing Corpse movie would be worth it for the zombie attack in Anita's bedroom and the final necroglobthing that Dominga Salvador made with all the extra arms and legs.

Richard aside, Circus of the Damned would be cool for the giant snake fight and the vampire showdown with Mr Oliver.

[tooimpurenangel.livejournal.com]

And Melanie!
I could never choose between her and Serephina as my favorite baddie.

[ukoku.livejournal.com]

I'd actually be excited for this, if I wsn't so damn sure it's going to be terrible.

I have the greatest, most vehemant feelings of hate for Twilight and teeny-bopper romantical nonsense, even more so when it's trying to be GRIMDARK, and most especially when it's a plot that been done a thousand times to death, and I think we're guaranteed for it in this.

[kisstheground.livejournal.com]

i'm still sobbing over the vampire diaries pilot. i think i'm too shell-shocked to get truly worked up over anita.

[bubblefaerie.livejournal.com]

Me, too. I hate the whole idea of The Vampire Diaries show.

[tooimpurenangel.livejournal.com]

Same here=/

[gwynethfar.livejournal.com]

It will be better than Twilight, mark my words.

[kisstheground.livejournal.com]

i just started twilight the other day. it's the most painful thing i've ever read. but, on the plus side? my laundry keeps getting put away!

[bubblefaerie.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure the movie could be worse than the books.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I don't think the telemovie could be worse than the comics -- art aside, I don't know if anyone's realised that you don't need narrating boxes to describe what the picture is doing.

[daphne-gateau.livejournal.com]

This. lol

[wyrdmuse.livejournal.com]

Maybe they're going to have voiceovers throughout the entire thing. Just so we know what's going on as we're watching the damn thing.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Nah, if LKH got her way, it would be wall-to-wall voiceovers just so a single snotty comment of Anita's isn't deleted. Because you know, bitter hatred, misogyny and paranoia are what she's all about.

[wyrdmuse.livejournal.com]

But she's a feminist, you guys! That means that anything Anita says or does is automatically empowered!

Also, don't forget the faux-edginess of the "BDSM" she puts in her books.

[daphne-gateau.livejournal.com]

Here's my take.

Books that have potential but sagged under the weight of the author's ego can be cleaned up quite nicely into a decent movie because the story might finally get the editing/logic application it needed in the first place. This works best in places where the author is not involved in script writing, casting, etc. But LKH seems to be involved here, so... who knows.

Hamilton's strength in storytelling is not her prose and writing. I always enjoyed her action scenes and the characters she created more than her writing. Far more. With a movie she should get forced out of the first-person perspective, she won't have to publically abuse grammar and she must actually focus on action. So, maybe movies are the better medium for her? Am I wrong to be optimistic?

[dwg.livejournal.com]

The changes that will probably be made to make AB:VH work on screen will be interesting -- and along with it, there's potential for an epic bitchfit somewhere between the writers and Team LKH. But then, LKH may be too dazzled by the new fangled things that go with the world of shiny television-land to put up a fight.

Either way, I'm actually excited that this is happening -- good or bad, I'm going to get some kinda entertainment value out of it.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Oh, that would be delicious. LKH realizing belatedly that she isn't going to get her Suefest exactly transcribed onto the screen, with every emasculated male and supersexpowah intact (can you imagine the young males' reaction if they saw the "save the day with luv and kisses!" scene in "Harlequin"? They'd laugh until they peed themselves).

Then she'll end up going to war with the writers of the show, like Anne Rice's movie complaints except amplified about ten thousand times. They'll ignore her completely, and she'll say a lot of vague stuff about how that's not HER Anita on the screen, treating men like equals and doing her job without a fuss. It'll be somuch fun.

[winddancing.livejournal.com]

Anite wears short short short skirts and carries guns and other weapons....what more do men need?

[mystoflare.livejournal.com]

Probably this is my own fault for watching too much anime and such...but am I the only one thinking "Panty shots!" when someone mentions Anita in short slut-skirts and the fact that the movie's gonna be geared towards a male demographic? (including the age range where guys are stereotypically rabid horny little buggers)

Here's hoping either the producers take the concept and run with it, it goes with the early pre-porn books, or that LKH screws it over so badly, that it'll be a riot to see tons of fanboys wanking themselves stupid over Anita's Porn Star-ness. *cue parody version of Turning Japanese as part of the AB soundtrack*

[easol.livejournal.com]

And big gelatinous boobs wiggling independently, and constant upskirt shorts, and monsters with phallic tentacles, and Anita losing her clothes in fights while barely getting a scratch....

... yes, I watch too much anime too. Why do you ask?

[mystoflare.livejournal.com]

I swear, Anita post-Shark-Jumping-Porno would be WAY better as some kind of cracked out hentai anime.

Anita Blake, Vampire Humper hentai anime=Would be so much hilarious fail it turns into win.
On the other hand, trying to pretend she's the pioneer of the "WOMAN WHO IS MAN WITH TITS AND PUSSY" or vampire-slaying urban fantasy genre=So Much Epic Fail.

*laughs thinking of Anita Blake a la the hilariously awful non-Japanese-made Samurai Fantasy* XD

[alex-lebeau.livejournal.com]

La Blue Anita? Bible Black: The Anita Scrolls? Urotsukidoji: Legend Of The Executioner? Night Shift Necromancers?

(Yeah, I think I should stop showing off that I watch too much hentai.)

[mystoflare.livejournal.com]

Mustang GTS, because we know about Laurell's god-awful car knowledge, and it would be a double entendre about Micah "Monster Wang" Callahan's sole notable characteristic of being hung like a horse.
And instead of crazy angels shagging demons who look like little girls or have gargantuan gazongas, or goofy high-school guys shagging busty demon lasses, it'd be Evil!Anita raping whiny, sparkly, colorful men with the mentality of little boys and the prodigious penile perfection Anita secretly wants.

...Yep, a friend is spamming me with clips of hentai. Crazy shit the Japanese come up with :D

[alex-lebeau.livejournal.com]

Like a cross between "Gunsmith Cats" and every demonic hentai you can think of. IT WOULD BE GLORIOUS.

And you think that's crazy? Night Shift Nurses. You will never look at hard boiled eggs the same again. I guarantee.

[ravynwolf.livejournal.com]

...April Fools?

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

Beat me to it

[easol.livejournal.com]

Good question, because the TV stuff predates this... it's very well-written and plausible if it is! :D

[gwynethfar.livejournal.com]

It would be worth watching if it would really be Anita. Fanny pack, over-sized t-shirt Anita, "Please help me, I can't do it myself" Anita, "I'm actually scared for my life" Anita.

But it won't be. With LKH and Jon at the helm, it will be Whorenita. Fishnets and leather, absolutely no danger, cops are idiots and Anita always knows better, blah blah blah blah blah.

And people will fucking love it and I will continue to slowly die inside, an inch at a time.

[lilisonna.livejournal.com]

Anita Blake, a street-savvy, down-to-earth vampire hunter with a lousy dating life and a penchant for bringing dead people back to life

Can one be said to have a lousy dating life when one is living with two men and dating four or six others?

[easol.livejournal.com]

In the LKHverse, "lousy dating life" means they show some small signs of free will and attraction to someone else.

[moonsinger.livejournal.com]

Please say it is an April Fool's joke that LKH and Jon are writing the movie. Isn't LKH burnt out enough already? Ah well, it isn't like I liked the Dresden Files show either. Murphy recast as a Hispanic to appeal to demographics and not have to bother with casting another female but combine two characters into one. Yuck!

[dwg.livejournal.com]

From what I understand, the actual adaption will be done by Glen Morgan, Jon and LKH are just executive producers. It might mean that they have the power of veto over what's going on, or the rubber stamp of approval but as far as I know they're not actually penning the adaption themselves.

[moonsinger.livejournal.com]

Thank goodness; it could still be good.

[jya-bd-cp-ttgb.livejournal.com]

Let's see....

Ah ha.

To appeal to the male demograph without having to cut out the male approved chunks of Penthouse sex, Anita's harem will be all female. Therefore, they can pretty much stay naked and have sex all the time without having to worry about the network/theatres censoring the full frontal male nudity and all those monster dicks.

Jeanette-Claudia
Richara
Natalie
Mischa
Jas
Asha

[sadsadmonkey.livejournal.com]

It looks like that both LKH and Jon are co-executive producers. I'm afraid that as far as April Fool's pranks go, this one is persistent to the point that it may not be a joke after all.

On the up side, from my understanding of the way these things work sometimes, that may not mean they have any story control at all. It's apparently traditional, sometimes, to credit the 'creator' as a co-EP or something along those lines even when said person is dead. It's not an always, but it's what I'm going to cling to.

I love a lot of the concepts in the AB:VH series but I feel the execution of said concepts has been terrible. A good writer, allowed to be good and work free of LKH, could take these concepts and run with them like scissors.

I am an optimist. Something has to be good sooner or later! Something!