This is of such badness, it may even surpass Micah.

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

So, the cover art for Strange Candy is up.

............

Good GOD it's ugly. Who chose that sickly bile green? (And is the cover model...blonde? *squints* Why yes, it appears she is. Hello, new Mary Sue!)

And gee, thanks for including previously published stories, too. Because we totally need the opening chapter of Incubus Dreams in a third book. And that's not at all a giant middle finger to all the people who bought the supernatural anthologies strictly for Laurell's stories. (Not that I'm one of them, but I feel their pain.)

ETA: As if that's not enough, according to the page on amazon.com it's a mere 272 pages--less than Micah--and retails for $25 in hardcover. (There's also a discussion entry by our very own Darla, whose profile is little more than a boot-licking paeon to her beloved mistress. "My favorite author is Laurell K. Hamilton. I am Laurell Hamilton's assistant." *HEADDESK*)

Comments

[windiain.livejournal.com]

Strange Candy? Strange Candy?! What kind of a title is that?!

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

It's been around for almost a year, I think...she announced the short story collection a while back, with that title attached. I have no idea how or even if it relates to the actual content. Perhaps it's meant to "roll on the tongue like candy", so very, very many things tend to do in her books.

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

My reaction EXACTLY.

"Honey, never, ever take candy from strangers. Especially if it's strange candy."

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

Also, is that woman dropping a whole lollipop, STICK AND ALL down her throat? Great way to choke!

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

She won't choke--LKH's heroines all have mad deepthroating skillz!

(I thought it was a blood-covered cherry...although a lollipop would make more sense with the candy title.)

[unicornssong.livejournal.com]

you have to wonder...when LKH goes to describe her 'vision' of what the title should look like to the cover artist.....what does she SAY?!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_hallow_/]

That's not exactly how it works when designing covers. She may have a final say, but she wouldn't be the one thinking up the designs.

[unicornssong.livejournal.com]

ooooh!

I was under the impression that the author sketches out what her book will roughly be about and the cover artist puts it down on paper.

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

I think the artist just has a massive cache of "erotic" female poses with no facial expression, and slaps one on randomly whenever a new cover is needed.

Although I think a new artist is required because, speaking as someone who knows virtually nothing about art, their sense of anatomy is wonked to hell and back. First it was the holes in Micah's back; now this woman's ear is disappearing into her neck. If people actually looked the way they do on LKH's covers, there would be charities set up to get them the corrective surgery they so badly need.

[pith]

...and she wonders why people think her books are all about sex? Oy.

This is sad. Almost worse than the 3 or 4 different styles of reprints. Maybe she's not the one gouging the fans, but if she cares about her fans like she claims to, why doesn't she talk to her publishers? She makes them money; they'd be inclined to listen.

[sweetpirate.livejournal.com]

*confused* wait, what's this one about? Short stories, I get that...just random short stories? Anita stories? Merry stories?


It's possible that the answer to this is obvious but I'm just missing it....Help?

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes, and no.

Strange Candy is a collection of short stories, most original, some Anita (including, reportedly, the very first AB short story she ever sold). Some have been previously published, some have been written specifically for this collection. I'm not sure if she's including a brand-new AB story as well...there are apparently two AB stories included but whether she counts the first AB one as "brand new!" (since it'll be new to her adoring zombies fans) or older, I have no idea.

According to Darla, there are no Merry stories in it. I'm sort of disappointed, but since Merry doesn't do anything but have sex and gain nifty powers, I don't mind too much. The first would be eye-gougingly boring to read; the second would be better off in a stand-alone book.

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

According to the cover type it's a collection of stories with new introductions from LKH. One has to assume that new introductionsis meant to imply that all the stories have been published before.

In the beautiful yellow stripe at the bottom is says "all-new Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter story" so going from past experience I guess this means a chuck of the next Anita book.

I think it's a bad sign that that the first time I read that tag line I thought it said "All-Men Anita Blake" and didn't pause because it sounded off.

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

I read it as "Anita Blake: Vampire Humper" and thought, "Wow, I guess LKH really is listening to her fans!"

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

Wow, on Darla's page she says "Will willing share my views on books I think deserve it. :)" which is great, but apparently she only reviews books that are 5 stars, and mainly LKH's at that. Is it just me, or does this border periously close to self-reviewing? After all LKH is basically providing her job, said job will of course vanish should the net from book sales and spin offs decrease. On the other hand, remarkable instinct for job preservation.

[troubleinchina.livejournal.com]

I love that she spells willingly wrong.

[alex-lebeau.livejournal.com]

....dear gods. Well, this will be an easy $23 savings.

I admit to buying "Cravings" for the sole Laurell story (mostly because I hoped she couldn't be too ridiculously sexual in a short; wow, was I wrong), then being pissed as hell at finding it to be merely the first chapter of "Incubus." Obviously not making that mistake again.

Though I still pride myself on at least having the older paperbacks with the illustrated covers and not the pointless photos of naked skin and strategic lighting.

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

I read online that the "short story" Cravings was just a huge rip-off, and avoided it. And Laurell's eensy contribution in Bite isn't enough to get me to pay for a whole book.

I have the first four AB books with the old-style covers, but the rest are newer. 'Tis a shame...from the looks of them they're much prettier than mine!

[tooimpurenangel.livejournal.com]

i HATE the new covers.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

In my part of the globe, we get the choice of the UK covers (which used to be the Anita Does Action Pose Gallery, but is now an OMFGCLOSEUP half of a face that might be Anita with a background that has something vaguely to do with the story, each book a different colour) as well as the US covers with the Erotic Bodypart Gallery.

That said, I'm proud to have the original run with the pulpy horror novel art. I wouldn't trade it in for the world.

[refche.livejournal.com]

Forgetting for a second how ridiculously bad the design is, I'm trying to figure out the photograph... So the lady has a blindfold and random ties around arms and neck. Let's say they're there for aesthetic reasons. I'm really curious about the appeal of feeding oneself when you can't see where the food is. It's just... Am I the only one not getting this? *sigh*

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

I just had the most amusing mental image of her completely missing her mouth and getting drippy stuff (blood? chocolate? who knows!) all over her nose.

[tooimpurenangel.livejournal.com]

it's ugly.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

That...ear is going to creep me out. Seriously. It should be under the blindfold, with a bit of lobe sticking out and that's it.

And...is she about to suck on a blood-dipped cherry? Because the red blobby bit and her fingers don't match up, and it doesn't look like a lollipop.

And yet, I think I'll get this book. I just want to see what the "all new introductions" for the stories are. What can really be said? "This is a story I wrote when the photocopier ran out of toner."?

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

Blood-dripped cherry was my first impression, although now that I think about it, it could also be chocolate. There had better be a fondue reference in the book, or I will be pissed.

I'm not getting this book until (unless?) it's out in paperback. Which it had BETTER BE eventually, because there is no way I'm spending $25 on a 272-page book when the paperback will be a) cheaper (duh) and b) slightly longer and possibly containing previews for future books.

Actually, what would be ideal is if she put out short story collections, say, once a year, and her "novel-lites" the next year, so they'd alternate and give a nice little fix between novels. Both would, of course, be slim PAPERbacks (not hardcovers...grr, you have NO IDEA how much this book's hardcover status pisses me off) and be $6.99 or less.

Yeah, this fantasy world I live in is real fun.

[dragonfanguk.livejournal.com]

Is that woman on the front cover supposed to look like she has the flu?

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

I just had the most wonderful mental image of the cherry replaced by a Photoshopped picture of a cough drop.