Strange writing

[chococomilk.livejournal.com]

I haven't read any of LKH's books past Harlequin, as they were so trippy and orgy-tastic by that point that I felt ashamed to be seen reading them even by my family, but curiosity got the better of me and I went to read an excerpt on Amazon of the latest book, "Bullet", to see what it was like. Immediately, this two-sentence gem leapt out at me:

"Monica's son was under five, so he didn't count as male yet. He was just a generic child."

I was under the impression that if he's Monica's son, that means he is a male. You can't be called somebody's son unless you have male genitalia. Since when has biological sex been determined by age? And what is a "generic child"? Does she mean that to Anita, Monica's son is unremarkable from other five year old boys? Is that because Anita isn't a mother, and is blind to the powerful individualism mothers ascribe to their offspring from other people's? Is it because he has very ordinary features - brown hair and brown eyes, the most common of phenotypes?

"I heard my name squealed out, in that high-pitched generic toddler voice."

What is a generic toddler voice? Squeaky? Of course it is - a boy's voice doesn't break until puberty. I think I can see what she means, and from Anita's perspective that all children seem alike is probably understandable since she doesn't have any and doesn't know anyone who has any, but it is a remarkably clumsy bit of writing. There's a lot of commentary on the sheer avalanche of sex scenes in LKH's novels, and on excessive word repetition (e.g. spilled) but has anyone else been turned off by the lack of writing quality?

Comments

[knowthyself.livejournal.com]

That is exactly the first thing I thought as well.

[knowthyself.livejournal.com]

They don't make quasi-sexual comments about wanting to be like "the big boys who kiss you" and you certainly don't think of it that way.

Wait, WHAT?!

FFS woman! Ugh!

[wellowned.livejournal.com]

i just threw up a little bit in my mouth at the kissing comment. eww.

[wellowned.livejournal.com]

there's always unnecessary description of the slaves to the doomcrotch. i mean, it's just in case any of her readers have forgotten their super special attractiveness, and how anita has all these men in her life that are all vertically challenged and still the hottest things on two legs and make her doomcrotch tingle whenever they breathe.

personally? if i were a new reader, i'd put the book down the moment i saw all that purple prose. it annoyed the hell out of me in Emma, and that's classic literature. i'm not gonna read pages of description of unnaturally sparkly eyes when i could actually get involved in real action/plot/etc.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

We're probably supposed to find the implication she would *edgy*.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

I don't know how close together the sentences are, either, but using "generic" TWICE to describe said kid is A BUCKETFUL OF FAIL.

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

Yeah... in the context she puts it in, that's a little too much for me.

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

I have to, I HAVE TO believe that this was just not thought through/edited well. I can't accept the other interpretation, for the sake of my own mental peace.

[loupgaros.livejournal.com]

Huh? My mind boggles. How could her editor miss that?

[knowthyself.livejournal.com]

Now I need to know, where does one find this awful piece of writing?

[plum-arden.livejournal.com]

My 4-yr old son will attempt to stick his tongue in your mouth sometimes, but it's not a sexual thing at all. He thinks it's funny, and grosses us out, so he does it. I've been gotten several times, and just tell him not to do that. LKH needs to get a grip. He has no idea why it's wrong.

[knowthyself.livejournal.com]

Found it. And oh god, it's even creepier to read that scene in full.

http://www.laurellkhamilton.org/Anita%20Excerpts/BulletCh1.pdf

[knowthyself.livejournal.com]

Having read the full chapter preview, it's even worse when she describes the kid as having his mom's same hair, and then two paragraphs later describes the mom as having her son's same hair.

[chococomilk.livejournal.com]

The answer may be that she doesn't use an editor anymore. She is the SOLE arbiter of what passes for good work from her pen these days.

[chococomilk.livejournal.com]

She's clearly missed the memo that in a series, you need a very brief description when recurring characters appear in a new book at the maximum to refresh the reader's mental image rather than a vomitous outpouring of verbiage.

What gets me though is - they aren't super special attractive. They sound like their appearance is incredibly weird. Who wouldn't stare at some dork with hair all the way down to his feet or the guy with "leopard" eyes?

And wait - there's purple prose in Emma? I found it mind-numbing and Emma herself is a whiny fool, but I missed the purple prose.

[chococomilk.livejournal.com]

It's quite appalling, really. There's enough sexualization of small children without LKH turning it into the latest must-have fetish.

[chococomilk.livejournal.com]

I read the excerpt on Amazon because it lets you see the first and the second chapters, but I suppose the Source of Evil itself is just as good. It does add fodder to the argument that Anita suffers from latent paedophilia, doesn't it?

[wellowned.livejournal.com]

well, what i meant was Emma has mind-numbing description of room, each character in the room, so on and so forth. maybe not purple, but definitely tedious.

and no, the guys *aren't* super attractive. but she's trying to market them as such and it's just not working at all.

god, honestly she could spread that description of each character out over each chapter and it would be more tolerable. one chapter to mention (in passing) how comfortable it is to lean against someone her own height. another chapter where someone does a double take at the eyes. etc. the info-dump is annoying as hell.

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

I like the word "yittle", a "yittle" cake sounds like a lot less than a "little".

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Monica, what a tramp. She shouldn't have a boyfriend she should have 27 "sweeties" instead.

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

I got tired of her constantly referring to Monica betraying her and that made Anita never trust her. As far as I remember when Monica "betrayed" her it was more out of cluelessness and Monica believing it was either right or okay to do it. And wasn't there some hint that Monica had been vamped into the "betrayal". But Micah betrayed her knowing it was wrong and with his own full knowledge. I guess if you're a human tripod with "kittycat" eyes you get a pass, but if Anita doesn't consider you fuckable you can never redeem yourself.

[lady-fellshot.livejournal.com]

I shouldn't have clicked the stupid link. Now I must wash. *goes for the brain bleach*

Definitely incipient pedophilia. EW.

[knowthyself.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I couldn't see the preview chapters on Amazon for some reason.

[alex-lebeau.livejournal.com]

No, no. You get a pass if you have a (painfully huge) penis. Females are teh eval.

[lady-fellshot.livejournal.com]

In which case if her contracts end up not getting renewed at any time for whatever reason, I'm sure she will start self publishing.