Heartbeat Radio podcast

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Back in June, LKH did a radio interview with Michelle Wargo for Heartbeat Radio. The podcast is now available, but the audio is a bit iffy in places and Hamilton speaks very fast in others. So because of that, and just in case it goes down, I've transcribed the entire thing. The only editing I've done is to take out a lot of "uh" and "um" pauses and stammering, the rest of the changes mid-sentence are all on LKH.

The interview itself is 14mins of mostly recycled answers, like what is the world of Anita Blake, but there's a new story about how the books are so good that they're an aphrodisiac and some people orgasm just from reading them.

Heartbeat Radio interview

Michelle Wargo:  Good afternoon, you’re listening to Heartbeat Radio for women and the men who love us. I’m Michelle Wargo and I’m extremely excited to speak with my next guest, author Laurell K Hamilton. Thank you so much for joining us!

Laurell K Hamilton: Thank you so much for having me, Michelle. It’s great to be here.

Wargo: I am so excited to talk to you because I am a big Anita Blake fan.

Hamilton: Very cool, I love to hear that.

Wargo: I need to ask you about your love affair with caffeine, because I had kicked coffee…

Hamilton: [laughs]

Wargo: I had kicked coffee before I started reading your books, and then the way you describe coffee…

Hamilton: Oh my…so that you’re back on coffee is my fault?

Wargo: Partly! Because you made me fall in love with coffee!

Hamilton: Now, here’s something that most people don’t know: I actually don’t drink coffee.

Wargo: How do you describe it so well, then?

Hamilton: I describe it the way it…I used to drink coffee years ago but I gave it up. I actually drink tea most of the time. But I just didn’t think that a hard-boiled character like Anita Blake…she just wouldn’t drink tea. She would drink coffee!

Wargo: [laughs] Yeah, tea’s too subtle of a kick for ya.

Hamilton: Oh, very much so! Um, if I am working, like uh…at the end of a book, I am really hitting the deadline hard and working late into the night, I will break out the hard stuff. The hard stuff is really good coffee.

Wargo: You know I went out and bought a grinder just because she…you describe the aroma of coffee. [laughs]

Hamilton: If you’re going to do coffee, you have to do it the right way. You have to grind your beans, because really the smell of coffee is enough to wake you up in the morning if it’s really good coffee.

Wargo: Yeah, I think that’s what it is too. It’s the aroma of it is so intriguing.

Hamilton: Now if you really, really want to try to give up coffee – I don’t recommend it, but if you do – there are actually candles from, like, Yankee candles? That smell so much like coffee. Now that if you just want the smell, you can burn these candles.  Now here’s the down side: it’ll make you want to drink it.

Wargo: Right. [laughs]

Hamilton: Because it does smell like…I love the smell of coffee, I miss that. I miss that…brisk, that slap in the face in the morning, that wonderful aroma. Yes, I’ll talk…I’ll wax eloquent about coffee, but most of the time I’m drinking tea. I even…I even started trying to do the white teas and the green teas.

Wargo: Those are good for ya.

Hamilton: I know they’re good for ya, but I like a strong black tea. There’s a saying in the British Isles: strong enough for a mouse to walk across.

Wargo: That is strong!

Hamilton: I think really I just miss coffee, so I brew my tea strong enough to try to make up for it.

Wargo: It could be, why not just get decaf coffee?

Hamilton: Um, what’s the point?

Wargon: [laughs] I’m with ya, but if you need to have something and don’t want the caffeine…you know.

Hamilton: Oh, no, I do want the caffeine; I’m just trying to cut down.

Wargo: Oh, all right. So take me on the journey of Anita Blake, for people who aren’t familiar with Anita.

Hamilton: Anita Blake’s world is as if you woke up tomorrow and everything that went bump in the night and was in the monster movies was real. Not only is it real, but everybody knows it’s real. Vampires have equal rights as citizens, they pay taxes. Wereanimals…it’s just considered a disease and you’re not allowed to discriminate in a job. Though if they go all beast on you and start eating people, the police will come and shoot them. Which, generally speaking, if one of your employees goes nuts and starts breaking up the place, the police will come and shoot them.

Wargo: Right.

Hamilton: If a zombie is shambling down your street, you can call the police and they will not think you’re crazy. They will send somebody with a flamethrower or they’ll send a necromancer to put them back in the grave. So, really, it is our world dealing with monsters as a reality. Because that…that fascinated me. If you took modern society and threw it in with monsters, what would happen? How would we cope? I still love that, that’s still one of my favourite things that I set up.

Wargo: Now are you finding that you have a lot of young readers now because of the Twilight phenomenon that went on?

Hamilton: I’ve always had some young readers. I get usually late…starting in late teens, late teens and then – as one female fan said – sixty, and not admitting anything else.

Wargo: [laughs] Okay!

Hamilton: So I get a really wide, both age and…I seem to get more male readers than a lot of the…more male readers than, like, Twilight and everything out now.

Wargo: Oh yeah.

Hamilton: I write for grown ups. I may have some children reading me, but these are books that I think of and I aim them very much at an adult audience.

Wargo: Mm-hmm. And as the series with Anita Blake has gone on, your books have gotten sexier.

Hamilton: Yes, fans tell me. I have now had women lay – several women – lay pictures of children down in front of me and they point to their youngest child and go, “That one’s yours.”

Wargo: [laughs] Oh my gosh!

Hamilton: The first time it happened, I looked at her and said, “I think I’d remember that.” And she said she had been reading one of my books, and she got amorous, and got carried away, and didn’t use her birth control with her husband, and so that’s how come she’s got a third child. It’s my fault.

Wargo: Oh wow.

Hamilton: So apparently I’m now an aphrodisiac. I think the books should come with a warning. You know…one woman told me that her husband asked, “when was the next Anita Blake book coming out?” And she said, “mmm six weeks.” And he said, “Well, I’ve joined a…I’ll go join a gym tomorrow.” She said “A gym?” Because she’d been trying to get him to join a gym forever, and he says “Yes, you almost killed me last time.”

Wargo: [laughs]

Hamilton: I write my books, I do the best job I can, and apparently…apparently I have done a very, very good job. In fact, I just came off tour and one of the ladies in the audience admitted, in front of everyone in the crowd, that I’d said that some woman had told me that the books are….make them orgasm just from reading them.

Wargo: Wow

Hamilton: And this lady stood up in the crowd and admitted it. She said she’s one of them. And I’m going, you know I’m good but I didn’t know I was that good. So apparently yes, yes, in among solving crimes and executing vampires for the government, we do some…I do some very good – very good – sex scenes.

Wargo: Now was that a conscious choice or was the story, when you’re writing, does the story carry you, or were you like, “okay, she’s going to get with these people now and this is going to happen and I’m going to make it as lovely as I can?”

Hamilton: Oh, I never wanted to write sex on paper because I’d seen it done so badly.

Wargo: Yeah.

Hamilton: It’s really hard work to get the sex right, or at least it was at the beginning because I had never really practiced at writing that on paper. So I really was kind of trying to avoid it when I realized I couldn’t, and it was logical for the characters, and they cared for each other…well, if I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it right. And so…one of the things that really has bothered me and the horror genre – and I know I’m paranormal and so it’s really there are mysteries and there are all…they go through all sorts of other genres – but in horror, if you…the virgin is…survives, and if you sleep around, you’re dead. In slasher flicks? I thought that was really unfair because…[sigh] you know, a really bad message to send that if you have sex and if you are owning your sexuality as a woman that you’re going to be killed for it!

Wargo: Well, that’s because men wrote those.

Hamilton: Well, you know…I’m not a man. And so I wanted to make sure that if I was doing something on paper, that it would be enjoyable. And it would be well-written between…you know, sex between consenting adults who care for each other. That should be a positive, fun thing and so I write it that way. And apparently….

Wargon: You’re dong a really good job at it!

Hamilton: I have had husbands, fiancés, and boyfriends stand in line for hours at normal signings and come up and lean over and go, “My wife reads you, thank you.” And I’m going, “you’re welcome.” The first time it happened, you’re not quite sure what they’re talking about, but I now know what they mean is that they get lucky every time a book comes out. And I’m going “you’re welcome.” I…so yeah, and… we had one couple…the husband was deployed out in the sandbox, as they say, or were saying at that time, and they…he was gone a really long time, so they get some time to talk live to each other and they start…she started to read the new books to him. That was what she did with her time, they read the books to each other. And I was really blown away by that. The time, the precious time you get to talk to your beloved husband and you’re reading my books back and forth to each other…and I, if that’s not high praise, that’s…one of the highest praises.

Wargo: Yeah, that’s fantastic.

Hamilton: Yeah, yeah I was very touched by that. I was very happy to give them some way to stay closer because they were big fans of the series.

Wargo: Now Laurell, where can people go to purchase Hit List and to find out everything about you and Anita Blake and your other series as well?

Hamilton: Well they can go to my website which is…uh….I’ve just blanked on my own website.

Wargo: laurellkhamilton.org

Hamilton: [laughs] laurellkhamilton.org! Yes, you can tell me if I’m wrong!

Wargo: No, that’s  right.

Hamilton: And there’s news about Hit List, which was just out, and all the books that I’ve done before this because this is, like, 20th in the series and my 30th novel which…

Wargon: Wow.

Hamilton: I know, it’s amazing even to me that I say that number and it’s real. And you can also…you can go into any major bookstore, I’m…from Barnes & Noble, to Borders Group, to Walmart, I’m told that …I’m hearing from people that are buying it all over the place

Wargo: Do you have any advice for young writers in the audience?

Hamilton: Yes I do. You become a writer by writing. Sit your butt in a chair and write on a regular basis because the muse cannot resist a working writer. And if you write “I can’t write today” just do that…just sit there and write “I can’t write today, these are the reasons I can’t write,” what I found early on in my career is that after I had written the excuses it shook something loose and I was suddenly actually writing. But if you never sit down and actually try to write then nothing happens. You’ve got to try in order to succeed, that’s the biggest thing. I talk to people across the country who say they want to be writers and I ask them, “how often do you write?” And I was always surprised by the answer which is they don’t, they want to write. If you want to write, then it’s like any other job. You put your butt in the chair and you do it, and you practice, and you get better by practicing, by doing it. So that’s my best advice: write. Writers write.

And once you have written and finished a story, then edit it a little and send it out to the market – that you’ve already researched ‘cause you know they buy your kind of stuff – and get started on the next project. Don’t sit by the mailbox; it’s like having only one child, you hover around it. If you know that you’re in the middle of another project, it’s not as hard when it gets rejected because you do get rejected in this business, you really do. Guilty Pleasures, the first Anita Blake book, was rejected over two hundred times

Wargo: Wow

Hamilton: I talk to people who say “I just can’t take all the rejection!” And I ask them, “how often was their book rejected before they gave up sending it out again?” and they’ll say, “three times,” and I’ll go, “piker!” I’m sorry, I was rejected over two hundred times – think if I had given up? Don’t give up, understand rejection is not…they’re not rejecting you. They’re rejecting little pieces of paper. They never see you. And so have faith in your story, your characters, and write.

And if there’s something you’re bad at as a writer, then practice it. I was bad at fight scenes, so I wrote heroic fantasy until I was good at fight scenes. I was bad…I couldn’t figure out how to do a good kiss on paper, so I started writing things that had more ro—more sex on paper until I could do it really well. I didn’t think I did…wasn’t that good at dialogue, so what I do, I do something that’s more like hard-boiled detective fiction which is really heavy on dialogue. I push myself if I’m not good at something, that’s the next thing I’m going to make myself write until I’m better at it.

Wargo: Wow. Well, Laurell, thank you so much for joining us today!

Hamilton: Oh you’re very welcome. Thanks for having me, Michelle.

Wargo: Have a great day.

Hamilton: You, too.

Wargo: You’re listening to Heartbeat Radio for women.

Comments

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

Perhaps now she's really, REALLY, REEEEAAAAAALLLLLLYYYYYY good at sex scenes she will go on to something else.

Also, blech.

Also, did you know she writes lots of sex scenes and her readers love them? No really they do. They do.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I love that she stops herself from saying "romance" in the last part. Her books aren't romance! Even though they're shelved there! And she claims that it's about emotioon and relationships between the characters! It's so not romance.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

Ro-sex: it's the brand new genre she invented!

[akaibara.livejournal.com]

Which totally makes me think of the ro-beasts from Voltron back in the day, which is totally appropriate don't you think?

[naeko.livejournal.com]

I write my books, I do the best job I can, and apparently…apparently I have done a very, very good job.

Vomit. This is what happens when you refuse to listen to ANY criticism.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

My personal favourite is this: Oh, I never wanted to write sex on paper because I’d seen it done so badly.

The Gods of Irony are smiling right now.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

But her incredibly great sex scenes made women PREGNANT dwg!

[dwg.livejournal.com]

At least now we can answer the question of how is babby formed!

[queenmeow.livejournal.com]

She's happy that people say her books made them pregnant, that's crazytown talk. Maybe that's why she thinks and acts like she's a rock star of the literary world, on the same level as Neil Gailman. Loads of bands have people say a child was conceived to their music.
What I gathered from this interview is LKH is more than happy with the creeper fans she has that adore her and think she's anita.

[naeko.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's a crazy thought that her books make people have sex, but if someone is too stupid to be on birth control and they want to blame LKH, I don't know why she would be happy about that.

I agree with your last sentence, which is sad for her :/

[ex-naomi-ja.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad I know all about how Laurell feels about tea and coffee now.

I'm not touching the rest. There's a special place in hell for me if I do.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Mostly I'm at "Kudos to the people who feel comfortable enough admitting these things to a room full of strangers." And then I have to back away before the second-hand embarrassment sets in.

[ex-naomi-ja.livejournal.com]

I can kinda at a stretch and with my head tilted see people jokingly saying, "oh yeah, your books just make me orgasm! Hahaha," in the same way I say cheesecake makes me orgasm (ie, it doesn't but I love it a lot). And then I can definitely see LKH interpreting that as "I totes for realz give people orgasms." She strikes me as incredibly literal in all her interviews.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I think you might be onto something! I'm going to keep that in mind for later books/interviews.

[daphne-gateau.livejournal.com]

I actually like the beginning chat about coffee/tea. She sounds refreshingly normal. It's when she gets to talking about the books that I start to worry. I glanced at some of her other answers and decided to stop at the coffee because I saw where the train was headed and wanted to jump.

(But really, I'll finish reading later after work. Thank you for posting!)

[dwg.livejournal.com]

NP! I need to work to transcribe the other podcasts I've got (there's 90mins worth from back in June /o\) so there's a record of things she's said for later reference. There are some real doozies and some things she's never bothered to blog about.

[bloodredroses1.livejournal.com]

I think I'm scared now. *whimper*

Morgan

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

More of this crap about how she thought it was unfair for only men to get to have lots of sex and not get judged, so she wanted to have a woman have sex? Not that she's not right in this perception, it's true, but she's not actually fighting against it with Anita...if anything, she's adding to it. Anita does not have sex because she WANTS to like these hardboiled male protagonists do. She does it because she HAS to for whatever sex-ex-machina reason it is this time around. Any woman besides her who has sex, especially because she wants to, is immensely judged in the books as being a big terrible awful whore monster! How is this a change from the "women have sex are bad (unless they don't want it)" dynamic at all that she thinks she's subverting so much?

Not to mention, Anita just can't simply have sex, even lots of sex, and leave it at that. No, she's consumed and controlled by it. It's now an unreasonably huge chunk of who she is, and she can't stop. This is exactly the sort of thing people said about women a few centuries ago--that they are so unstable that you can't let them have free will over their sexuality or they become crazy nymphos. Yeah, LKH, you're real progressive and feminist *snort*

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

AND she has to Loooooooove all her partners. She can't just fuck 'em cos they're pretty and then shoot them 'cos they're bad.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

Also, she didn't WANT for a woman to have sex. No no no. The CHARACTERS MADE HER DO IT.

[naeko.livejournal.com]

It makes me kind of angry that she doesn't see this EVEN A LITTLE.

[katekat]

Interesting that she stopped herself from saying "more romance" in that last line - specifically disassociating yourself from a genre Laurel? I thought you meant ALL things to ALL genres! :)

[ever-obsessed.livejournal.com]

Oh, I never wanted to write sex on paper because I’d seen it done so badly

O.o

[mardelwanda.livejournal.com]

LOL...LOL....just thinking about the sex scenes actually making someone "amorous" all the talking and endless discussion RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of things is enough to turn me off...and then there's the whole picturing of the bowed backs, and screaming orgasms..that just make me laugh. Out loud. Laugh with a kind of shudder, and not the good kind of shudder.

But hey, if those scenes are enough to get other people....there. Then...um...good for them? LOL

[queenofquails.livejournal.com]

One of the things that blows my mind is her apparent unwillingness to read, at least other authors in her own genre/s. Yes, keeping yourself writing is important, but so is reading. It's one of the best, easiest ways to improve your writing - see how other people do it (when they do it well).

"Bad artists copy. Good artists steal." - Pablo Picasso

The trouble is when writers don't know how to take something away from another writer and make it their own. Maybe it's better that LKH doesn't read other stuff in her genre/s; I don't need to see her butcher my favorite authors.