Some Well Deserved Credit!

[putana.livejournal.com]

Looked back in the posts, but didn't see this mentioned. But LKH got some truly well-deserved credit in HuffPost's, 50 Shades Of Put It Away: The Worst Book Sex Scenes Ever.

This was the gem they listed:

Fuck me,” I said. “Fuck me, God, fuck me, just fuck me. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, please, please, please, just fuck me.”
– Incubus Dreams, Laurell K. Hamilton

There are some real 'gems' on the list. But I am so pleased to see LKH on that list - because really? That is one list the series really belongs on. Thoughts? Would you have picked that quote to demonstrate the worst sex scene in the series?

Comments

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

oh my god. that blurb. I am laughing so much.

[kyoko-minamino.livejournal.com]

My number one champion of shitty sex scene writing for LKH is still that scene from Micah. It was so horrible that I thought it was fake. Behold, and then scrub your eyeballs clean: "But wet. I'm so wet. You've made me so wet. Fuck me, Micah. Fuck me before I stop having little spasms inside me. You made me so wet, so tight, my body is still having little mini orgasms. I want you inside me while my body is still spasming."

And just barely losing to that quote is the sex scene in Bullet where Richard magically becomes bisexual and wants to flog Asher while watching JC and Anita go at it, or something similar, I can't remember because I dropped the book and walked away.

[allthingspoison.livejournal.com]

The sex scenes in Micah literally made me feel ill. I got queasy.

[kyoko-minamino.livejournal.com]

I have a bucket of Brain Bleach handy if you need it. It's required whenever reading post-Obsidian-Butterfly Anita Blake.

[ambiviolent.livejournal.com]

This is so brain-smashingly awful I de-lurked. What. Is. This. I cannot.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

"But wet. I'm so wet. You've made me so wet. Fuck me, Micah. Fuck me before I stop having little spasms inside me. You made me so wet, so tight, my body is still having little mini orgasms. I want you inside me while my body is still spasming."

Fixed, though still TMI.

[putana.livejournal.com]

I've read badfic at fanfiction.net by first-time writers who could do better. Especially given the books are in first-person, so LKH doesn't really need to go into so much detail in the actual vocal interactions, like Anita could go -

"He'd made me so wet, and I still wanted more - I wanted him inside me while I was still spasming, and I kept repeating, 'Fuck me, Micah, keep fucking me'"

...gez, we need to play a game of 're-write the bad sex scenes', especially as we are considered a bunch of prudes XD

...and here I thought she couldn't get worse than having sex in a bath of werewolf goo. ...how little I knew back in the Killing Dance!

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

Yes!

Unfortunately given LKH's well-documented inability to separate her own life from Anita's just makes me think, every time I read this stuff, that she is probably this turgidly and unsexily over-wordy in bed herself. And then I feel ill because I don't want to know what she does with Jon, her husband, her husband Jon, who is her husband btw.