A writing query for you all

[kyoko-minamino.livejournal.com]

Hiya. Long time lurker, infrequent commenter. I have a question poking around on the squishy grey shelves of my brain that I'd like hear some answers to that relate to our shark-jumping heroine and the deterioration of her storyline.

What lessons have the post-Narcissus in Chains novels taught you all?

I ask because I am a novelist and I've written four novels so far, working on getting them published, which is hard. I've heard bits here and there that suggest some of you are also writers and so I wanted to know if you too have been taking notes on what to do and what not to do based on the crap that Hamilton pulls with Anita.

For the interest of brevity, I'll toss my lessons into a list. Feel free to add yours below if my post strikes your fancy.



1) Avoid a sausagefest. This one was a bit difficult considering my novels have to do with pre-established characters (the archangels of Heaven, who are almost all male), but I've made sure that my main character has a healthy spread of supporting female characters. None of them are crazed judgmental bitches or jealous haters. Anita's vendetta against feminine women has taught me to make sure to show all sides of each woman's personality, from the sweet to the vengeful to the tomboy to the girly girl.
2) Do not force in extraneous love interests. I admit there's a love triangle going on in my first novel series, but I've made it clear that it's just two guys. No one else in my main character's life is in love with her, they do not worship the ground she walks on, and they don't compliment her every single time she walks in a room. Unlike Ms. Blake, who must be worshiped by the opposite sex pretty much all the time in the post NiC novels, to my continual disdain.
3) Keep the main character humble and grounded. Anita's got the worst case of high horse syndrome I've seen in a long, long time. I hate how up her own ass she is sometimes, so I've made a point to have other characters point out my girl's flaws and call her out on things when she's being unreasonable.
4) Conflict needs to be in every single scene. Whether it's internal or external, conflict is absolutely necessary in every scene. This does not fly in the post-NiC novels. A particularly horrific example is Cerulean Sins, where there are literally chapters and chapters of nothing but exposition and info dumps that are boring and have absolutely no conflict whatsoever. If you don't believe me, read the first three chapters. You'll probably gawk at the unabashed lack of conflict there.
5) Everything is not about her. There are other characters who have problems, desires, and inner turmoil, and I try my best to allow them to develop throughout the course of the story. Anita's complete lack of sympathy for her poor sex slaves astounds me sometimes. Consider Nathaniel's background. Or hell, Asher's. Both of them should be receiving oodles of love and support and should have character arcs, but Anita and her magical vagina are clearly more important so they just keep getting kicked off screen like red-headed stepchildren.
6) Try to stay modern and do research to keep the details realistic. Many of you brilliant folks have pointed out how behind the times Anita is, especially when it comes to long term birth control and keeping herself clean before and after sex sessions. I've made sure to pull my glasses on and research everything that I possibly can to avoid the dreaded "Did Not Do the Research" label that other writers and readers will be happy to slap on my work otherwise.

Those are the most obvious ones for me. I hope to hear from you guys because I'm genuinely interested and I'd love to talk shop with other writers. Tchau.

Comments

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

- If you are writing from the POV of a character, keep in mind what they would focus on, and when. In the first chapter of Skin Trade, Anita has just gotten a head sent to her in a box from Vittorio, a master vampires and serial killer. She is about to call the Vegas police (since the return address was Vegas) but then goes on a very long monologue about the photos on her co-workers Manny and Larry's desks, and who is in them, and what they look like. We learn the names, nicknames, and ages of their kids, Anita insults their wives, and we know the exact color and texture of Larry's baby's hair and how it relates to each of her parents and how it compares to that of Nathaniel. And then she starts wondering if she should have pictures on HER desk and who of. And when she actually meets Vittorio and it's supposed to be a scary oh-shit situation, she notices that his hands aren't as dainty as she likes on her men but are still graceful enough. Neither of these things make any sense for her to be focusing on at that moment. It makes her seem like she's stupid, doesn't care, or has ADHD. Which brings me to...

- Relevance. No one in those photos ever shows up in these books. That baby's hair is never important. That was a big waste of time and words.

- You know what else got lots and lots of description and mentions in Skin Trade? The numerous weapons that Anita brought with her to Vegas. I was particularly excited for the phosphorous grenades. Guess what? She never uses ANY of them. Not a single weapon, be it gun or grenade or knife, all of which we were treated to numerous lengthy listings and descriptions of, gets to be actually used. We also get a lot of scenes of her refusing to put down her weapons to get in somewhere or see someone, and a scene where a cop nearly arrests her because of everything she's carrying. If you are going to include stuff like this and bring it up repeatedly, it better actually see some action. Chekhov's Gun and all.

- Indeed, don't include the promise of cool things in general and then not deliver. In Skin Trade, we got a demon, we got jinn, and we got a team of SWAT wizards and psychics who each had a special power or magic of their own. The demon is never faced because it goes back where it came from on its own, the jinn are sealed away semi-offscreen with no fanfare or challenge, and only one SWAT guy ever uses his power and that's in the same vein as the jinn situation. That's cheating the reader so hard, and they will hate that. It's disappointing. It's a rip-off. Don't do it.

AND PROBABLY MORE LATER, I LIKE THIS TOPIC!

[shimmerfox.livejournal.com]

Hell in Danse Macabre, a vampire Merlin shows up. As an almost unbeatable antagonist? As a wise old mentor with a vital warning for the protagonist to listen or ignore? No, so he can dance the ballet as a background character.

Seriously what is probably the slowest book in the series to to date, and it had Merlin and still nothing happened.