[identity profile] blogfloggery.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] lkh_lashouts
Link: FaerieCon East 2014, After Action Report
Disclaimer: This blog entry is verbatim, as originally posted on LKH's blog. Copyright belongs to Ma Petite Enterprises.



First, thanks for everyone being so welcoming at our very first FaerieCon. You East coast fey are a very friendly lot. The vendors area was full of more wings than I’ve ever seen anywhere. Got some more great jewelry at The Crafty Celt, and two new places: Seth Maranuk Designs, and Remnants of Magic. Blonde Swan was there with the hats of awesome, and next door were the most charming fairy houses. They looked like things I used to make up in my head when I was in fifth grade and what my daughter loved for years, as well. I think I may need a tiny one for my office, and another for our daughter for Solstice.

The wonderful SJ Tucker was there to perform her musical magic along with Faun. SJ and I have known each other for years, and exchanged many hugs, though by the time we hugged on Sunday my voice was gone thanks to con crud that Jon and I both came down with. Got to wave at the members of Faun as we were all trying to leave for the airport.

I was on panels with Bruce Coville, Tamora Pierce, and Catheryne Valente, with surprise guest Melissa Marr who showed up for the Researching Your Fiction panel. Bruce and Tamora could do a delightful panel just the two of them. Their decades of friendship, being neighbors, and writing buddies totally shines through when they are on stage together. Emma Casale was on all our panels with us, at least briefly, as she ran all the writing panel track, the bookstore, and all the signings. She brought me hot tea on Saturday using her grandmother’s tea caddy. I was fearful I would drop the wonderful strawberry covered creamer once I learned it was a family heirloom. Jon made certain that he either carried it back to her between panels or stayed with it for her to return for it. Thanks again Emma, the tea was most welcome.

We had more hot tea with Melissa Marr and our shared agent, Merrilee Heifetz, between panels, and then they went back to World Fantasy Con which was just down the road. I’d actually forgotten that the two cons were the same weekend; it’s been a busy year. Tamora, Catheryne, and I had a panel on, “Why are Strong Women in Fiction Still a Surprise?” We talked to a packed room about a lot of different questions. What divides men and women? Is it society more than actual physical gender? What brings us together? Is feminism a dirty word that divides women, or is it a perfectly okay word and thing to be? Is it true that younger is automatically more attractive? Is it true that getting older means your looks “go”? Tamora and I had to agree to disagree on the last two questions. I don’t believe that younger is better or that older is worse. I believe it is a false idea put out by ads and entire industries wanting us to buy their products to look younger, and thus, better. I find that as long as I hit the gym hard and watch my nutrition, that decade number five is pretty awesome; and I’m finding that holds true for my friends as they hit their thirties, forties, fifties, and sixties. I’m not a gym rat because I’ve always loved to exercise, I’m in the gym because I started asking the people older than me that looked fabulous and had almost no health problems, “What are you doing?” The answer, almost without exception, was serious gym and nutrition. My doctors are telling me that muscle around the joints is how I stay out of knee surgery, so that pretty much capped it as a plan of action for me.

Sorry, I digress, but I learned things on the panel that I didn’t know, like it’s still not considered cool for little boys to read books. Really? I asked my husband and best male friends and they all said that as boys they’d gotten made fun of for reading. I had no idea. The men in the audience confirmed that reading is still not cool for boys and men. That’s sad and ridiculous. Tamora said that if more fathers would read to their children, especially little boys, that it would help close this reading gap between girls and boys. Her point was very sound that most boys want to be like their dads, so if they read and enjoy reading with their sons than they can go into the world armed with stories and knowing that reading is cool, because their dads read, too. Since I grew up without a father, I had no idea there was a gender gap in reading. I’ve only dated men who read, usually men who read a lot, so I had no idea there was a double standard for reading. If you enjoy reading, you should read. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about loving books. Stories are part of what makes us human, as far as we know it’s one of the only things that we do that the other living beings on this planet don’t; although since they’ve proven that animals will lie, maybe they do tell each other stories? Now wouldn’t that be cool, to hear the stories that whales tell each other and be able to understand them?

It was a very thought provoking panel for all of us, I think. When I say, us, I mean men and women, everyone in the room. I’ve decided that maybe I’m a feminist and a masculinist. I’d like everyone to be able to be who and what they are with no preconceived social baggage making us afraid to enjoy, love, hope, do, and be ourselves whatever that means for each of us. Remember that anyone that makes fun of you for doing something you love isn’t really your friend anyway, so what does it matter if they don’t like you? They don’t like you anyway, so screw it, screw them, or rather abstinance them, because you certainly don’t want to sleep with anyone that makes you feel bad about yourself or who limits the things that bring you joy.

Thanks to Robert for all the trips to the airport and the wonderful restaurant recommendation. Thanks to Tiger Torre, her wolf, and friends who redeemed Baltimore sushi by taking us to a fabulous place that washed away the memory of the awful sushi we had delivered the night Jon was too sick to go out and have fun. We all stayed in and took care of him, because that’s what friends and spouses do. You do not go out to concerts, or parties, or whatever, and leave your sick sweetie, or good friend, alone. We actually watched the new Hercules with Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson in the room the night of not good sushi. We all liked it, and I liked it enough I want to see it again. You do need to not expect the Greek mythology and history to be exact, but not as much was changed as in a lot of versions. *cough Disney cough* I actually liked some of the changes and how they explained the labors of Hercules in a fresh way. There were also some of the best fight training scenes for actual shield wall and formation practice I’ve seen in a movie in a very long time, maybe ever. There was even a double mystery plot that made total sense at the reveal, and I can name a lot of suspense movies where that is so not true.

Last and most importantly, thanks to all the fans that came to FaerieCon to see me. You were some of the nicest people and very understanding as I used a microphone on panels to try and not lose the rest of my voice. To the fans that said they’d come here just to see me, I’m still honored, but I hope you got to enjoy more of the con and see some of the other great guests.

Date: 2014-11-10 07:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dwg.livejournal.com
I don’t believe that younger is better or that older is worse.

If it pleases the comm, I'd like to present Exhibits A and B - Nathaniel and Cynric.

I’ve decided that maybe I’m a feminist and a masculinist.

Well I guess this is a step up from the whole 'equalist' thing but at least she's consistent in her WHAT ABOUT THE MEN!? beliefs. (Spoiler: feminism benefits everyone, including men!)

Mostly what I'm getting out of this blog is that she stepped out of the Ivory Tower, discovered the world wasn't exactly the same, and wasn't sure if she liked it! What if learning these things make her feel bad!?! DID NOBODY CONSIDER THIS!? Fie on all those other people who have different experiences from her own! Fie!!!

Date: 2014-11-10 08:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] suzycat.livejournal.com
I find the "false idea put out by ads and industries" closely followed by "if I just watch my nutrition and go to the gym" quite amusing, since the latter is directly fuelled by the former. Gyms are all about industrialising health or the appearance thereof.

Date: 2014-11-10 09:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dwg.livejournal.com
Seriously. Especially since she's been so evangelical about GYM AND NUTRITION! I mean, I get that she's done a lot to avoid surgery and it makes her feel good, that's totally awesome for her, but the way she keeps going on about it seems like something much more than just looking after herself. Even her last massive fitness phase a few years ago wasn't as intense as this.

Date: 2014-11-10 07:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] guardians-song.livejournal.com
She's narcissistic. Everything she likes is the best thing ever because SHE likes it. Why haven't you mere peons harkened to her wisdom yet?

Date: 2014-11-10 09:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jessica collett (from livejournal.com)
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE POOR MEN? HOW CAN WE SAVE THEIR PRECIOUS PRIVILEGE?

Date: 2014-11-10 09:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dwg.livejournal.com
MEN NEED TO SEE THEMSELVES AS SEX OBJECTS TOO (https://twitter.com/LKHamilton/status/344811766460583936)! Since she's solved sexism, I guess she doesn't understand why we all haven't gone home yet.

Date: 2014-11-10 09:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dagonista.livejournal.com
OMG, I can feel my waves of rage rising again re-reading that Twitter exchange.

Date: 2014-11-10 09:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dwg.livejournal.com
Between her twitter, the books, and that video from her recent tour, I really have to wonder if LKH even knows what sexism and feminism even are.

Date: 2014-11-10 10:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dagonista.livejournal.com
I think she knows what she thinks it is, but a lot of her rhetoric (like that awful corset story and her whole attitude of "don't wear X if you don't want attention") is more in line with the milder MRAs you see on placed like Cracked. That and the fact that she thinks feminism doesn't actually concern men (hence, "masculinist") makes me think she's pretty clueless as to what feminism really is.

Date: 2014-11-10 11:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dwg.livejournal.com
Yeah, I totally agree and add that I don't think she realises the scope of what feminism is working toward because her solution is to be equally sexist rather than not be sexist in the first place. See also: the Anita Blake series.

Date: 2014-11-10 10:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] suzycat.livejournal.com
BY BECOMING MASCULINISTS AS WELL AS FEMINISTS OF COURSE.

Because as you know, feminism is ENTIRELY about putting down teh menz and oppressing them and not instead about gender and class equality.

Date: 2014-11-10 11:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dwg.livejournal.com
Exactly! She loves men and understands that they're people too! Plus she's got a terminal case of Not Like The Other Girls snowflakedom. She likes METAL MUSIC and DARK EDGY THINGS and HATES SHOPPING! If I do enough mental gymnastics, I can arrive at a place where it's weirdly admirable that she's willing to champion these things without actually realising that this is what feminism is about.

Date: 2014-11-10 03:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jessica collett (from livejournal.com)
What, feminism ISN'T about destroying men? Guess I have to put these cleavers and ropes away...

Date: 2014-11-10 09:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rebootfromstart.livejournal.com
Actually, if I'm unwell (and I often am) and my SOs have plans, I'd much rather they keep their plans. With few exceptions, there's little anyone can do when I'm sick to make me feel better once I've ascertained what's wrong, and hovering doesn't help. So feel free! Go out! Leave me alone! I'll probably just be sleeping anyway!

I mean, yes, ask said sick person if they want you to stay, but I don't think going out makes you a terrible person, if the sick isn't hospital-worthy unwell.

Date: 2014-11-19 04:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zombiemonkey.livejournal.com
Same here! I let him know that I'm not angry about it, in fact, I'd be angry if we BOTH had to miss something. Then we'll just text each other jokes, and I'll just stay home and read or watch MST3K.

Date: 2014-11-10 09:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dagonista.livejournal.com
I love how rather than display any knowledge of feminism, she just starts talking about the gym and how awesome she still looks for her age.

Date: 2014-11-10 09:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] suzycat.livejournal.com
It's amazing the way she can do that without being in any way affected by advertising or industries that tell her how important it is to look good for her age.

Date: 2014-11-10 09:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dagonista.livejournal.com
I'm sure we could all learn a lot from her.

As a cautionary example, I mean.

Date: 2014-11-10 03:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apep727.livejournal.com
I love how she clearly ran out of things to say, so instead told an anecdote about Jon, her husband, Jon got food poisoning from bad sushi, which she then turned into a demonstration of how Their Relationship Is Better Than Yours. And then started talking about Greek mythology.

Date: 2014-11-10 04:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dagonista.livejournal.com
I hope she didn't do that on the actual panel.

"My thoughts on feminism? Well, I do go to the gym a lot and one time my husband, Jon had bad sushi..."

Date: 2014-11-10 07:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apep727.livejournal.com
I always find it amusing when she's put on a panel about "strong female characters", because as near as I can tell, her protagonists are only female in a biological sense. The character's gender (or sexual orientation, or race, or whatever) shouldn't *define* them, but it should have *some* effect on them (beyond who they bang, I mean).

Date: 2014-11-10 07:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dagonista.livejournal.com
Anita is definitely essentially (a horrible, horrible) male, and I think that's because she was "born" in an era where "strong female" just meant "women doing what men do." Sadly Laurell has never moved out of that era.

Date: 2014-11-11 04:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] guardians-song.livejournal.com
Nyeeeeeeh, otherwise we'd have to put up with less ENDLESS COMMENTARY ON CLOTHING and Anita hiding behind whatever powerful male figure is most relevant in a given situation. Seriously, are there any powers she has that DON'T stem from a man in some way?

I'd like Anita more if she were /solidly/ "essentially male" and not some weird hideously misogynistic hybrid of an MRA and a helpless swoony porn damsel that can't do anything without being stuffed full of cock on a semi-hourly basis. Or, in terms of pagetime, TALKING about the angst and political implications of being stuffed full of Werecock #2091934.

Anita weirdly overcompensates regarding *everything*. Not only is she the manliest man in the room, but she's also the sexiest woman with the best grasp of fashion and most ability to unconditionally love a weeping cock shrouded in Cousin It hair. TBH I think that's what LKH secretly regards as the true essence of femininity, if the Merry series is any indication.

Anita's female. It's just that she's a female who really, really, REALLY displays disgust towards anything tinged with girly stuff... and enjoys some of it, but it's different when *she* does it. *rolls eyes* LKH has issues...

Date: 2014-11-16 05:04 pm (UTC)
ext_104173: (bilbo reading)
From: [identity profile] jeza-red.livejournal.com
Basically, Anita is the I'm Not Like Other Girls trope cranked up to eleven.

Date: 2014-11-10 03:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rodentfanatic.livejournal.com
Without even going into the content (because that's just too much bullshit for me to deal with right now)....this blog is such a big tangential mess, wow.

Just like her books, fittingly.

Date: 2014-11-10 08:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cryptaknight.livejournal.com
It's not cool for little boys to read books? Tell that to my son and his friends- they're in third grade and devour series like Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Captain Underpants, and he's starting to move on to Harry Potter now. I know Rick Riordan's books are popular with the little guys, too.

I feel like everybody, boys and girls alike, used to get slapped with the 'bookworm' label if they liked reading... a generation or so ago. But Harry Potter really changed the landscape for readers. Most kids I know now see no shame in reading.

Date: 2014-11-10 09:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apep727.livejournal.com
I was wondering about that too. The one time I got hassled for reading as a kid was in 5th grade, and that was by the teacher, and because I was reading during recess. And that was before Harry Potter became a thing. So I have no idea what these guys were going on about.

I think LKH found out that maybe a few guys got hassled for reading when they were in school (possibly having more to do with what they were reading, hint-hint), and concluded that it must a real issue. And like most things she goes on about, she's completely wrong.

Date: 2014-11-11 12:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rodentfanatic.livejournal.com
Yeah, reedy bookworms might get sand kicked in their face by jocks on the beach in the 1950s (and girls would be told to get their noses out of books and focus on getting a man!) but I've seen zero stigma against reading in my generation (I'm 25) and in younger generations (I have a nephew in elementary school, and I volunteered in an elementary school library for a year, so I think I'm a little closer to that territory than LKH currently is)

But I feel like when LKH hears of anything that could possibly be construed as sexism against men in any way, she just jumps on it and runs.

Date: 2014-11-10 09:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apep727.livejournal.com
I think I may need a tiny one for my office, and another for our daughter for Solstice.

Am I the only one bothered by this? I mean, Christmas in popular culture has pretty much been stripped of any actual religious affiliations, so her referring to it as "Solstice" just reeks of her saying, "aren't I so awesome and special for being a 'pagan'?" I mean, they celebrate Christmas in Japan, for fuck's sake.

Date: 2014-11-11 12:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rodentfanatic.livejournal.com
If Solstice is what's celebrated in her house, then it would be a gift given for Solstice, and calling it a Christmas gift makes no more sense than someone calling their Christmas present a Hannukkah gift. They may celebrate Christmas in Japan, but if they don't celebrate it in her household, why imply they do by saying "for Christimas" just because it's the pop-cultural norm to do so?

Don't get me wrong, I think she's a very snotty brand of Neo-Pagan fail, but I don't think this is an example of that.

Date: 2014-11-11 04:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apep727.livejournal.com
I guess. Still, I'm about 98.7% sure that "Solstice" at her house is almost exactly like Christmas in a not-particularly-religious American house. Except maybe without any Santa decorations.

Honestly, I can't quite shake the feeling that the primary motivator for her conversion was so she could be in an open relationship without having to deal with any kind of stigma.

Date: 2014-11-11 04:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] guardians-song.livejournal.com
Honestly, I can't quite shake the feeling that the primary motivator for her conversion was so she could be in an open relationship without having to deal with any kind of stigma.
I frankly think it was so she could feel ~special~ and ~so much more enlightened~ than those mere normals. If AU!LKH had been raised in a mostly-pagan country, she would have been one of the first to join those newfangled 'Christians' and go around bragging about how much more special and accepting this faith was than the old one. And one of the first to drop her cross and start running when persecutions started up.

(Sorry about my tone - I'm just inexplicably gritchy tonight. I see your point, though, and if I thought LKH's need to feel accepted was greater than her need for ego-stroking, I'd totally agree with you.)

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