Blogflog - Dead Ice: Zerbrowski

[blogfloggery.livejournal.com]

Link: Dead Ice: Zerbrowski
Disclaimer: This blog entry is verbatim, as originally posted on LKH's blog. Copyright belongs to Ma Petite Enterprises.

Here’s the next blog in the series leading up to Dead Ice. I thought I’d leave the leading men behind and go to one of my favorite supporting characters, Zerbrowski.



Question: What is Zerbrowski’s first name?

Answer: Sorry, but he’s keeping that secret a bit longer. He considers it pretty awful though.

Secrets to share: He’s Sergeant Zerbrowski now, moving up the chain of command, but he’s still making wisecracks and being Anita’s main partner when she works with the Regional Preternatural Investigation Squad, though most people call it the Regional Preternatural Investigation Team, so they can use the acronym, RPIT, for the Rest in Peace Team.

Question: When will we see his entire family on stage?

Answer: “Dancing” is an e-special short story where we finally got to see one of the police barbecues at Zerbrowski’s house.

Secrets to share: I’d been wanting to see Zerbrowski, his wife Katie, and their kids on stage in a major way for years, but there never seemed to be enough time in one of the main books. “Dancing” exists because I wanted to see him at home. I wanted to meet his kids, not just talk about them off stage. Zerbrowski and Katie stand up to any of the police, or their spouses, that are unhappy with Anita taking Micah and Nathaniel as her dates. They bring along four-year-old Matthew who they are babysitting. Seeing Anita dealing with a child at an event with a bunch of other children and parents was very fun.

Question: When will we see Zerbrowski in a major roll in one of the books again?

Answer: Dead Ice has Zerbrowski back at Anita’s side helping her track rogue zombies and evil necromancers.

Sneak Peek from Dead Ice:

Zerbrowski made a face. “I bet. Nothing like coming to put flowers on Grandma’s grave and discovering she’s been scattered all over the place like dog food.”

Comments

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

Oh, so that's why she needs the muse, to make excuses for why it's been over ten years since she started this series and she still doesn't have a first name for a guy who's been an important secondary character since the first book.

Is it just me or are those "secrets"...not even secrets?

[darkestgrace.livejournal.com]

I'd thought the 'secrets' would be things that we didn't know, either about the character or the writing process. Like, if Zebrowski was originally designed as an ex of Anita's, or a one-night-stand that she regretted, that would be a secret. Or if she hadn't intended to have Zebrowski at all, but her friends in the police had told her about how they would joke about tough cases to cope, and she wanted to have a character that embodied that. Not 'hey, this e-book that I wrote is about Zebrowski, because in two dozen actual books I've not had space to throw in any detail about him'.

[duamuteffe.livejournal.com]

Good lord, what is up with his anatomy? The author *chose* this artist?

[shadwing.livejournal.com]

In defense of Brett Booth, he is a good artist and has a good grasp of anatomy. His work on Nightwing for DC Comics was very nice.

When this was completed LKH had complete control/veto rights on almost every aspect of the comic visuals so he may not have had as much control as he wanted.

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

Imo, his work can be kinda patchy at times, but I've never seen it sink anywhere near the depth it did in the Anita comics. I'd guess LKH's constant lateness meant he was working on a very tight deadline. Plus I sometimes got the feeling he was doing it on purpose, especially when it came to JC.

[jessica collett (from livejournal.com)]

WHAT THE FRICK IS UP WITH THIS ART. I DIDN'T NEED TO SEE HIS PELVIS LIKE THAT. ICK.

Question: What is Zerbrowski’s first name?

Answer: Sorry, but he’s keeping that secret a bit longer. He considers it pretty awful though.

Answer: I still couldn't be bothered to come up with world building info on my characters. I am a lazy hack who reveals common information as if it is some big revelatory secret.

Do not remind us of dancing and how huge a mess it was.

Zerbrowski sees us rolling.... we hatin'.

[dreamstrifer.livejournal.com]

so they can use the acronym, RPIT, for the Rest in Peace Team.

Yeah, but the acronym isn't RIPT so that doesn't work.

When will we see Zerbrowski in a major roll in one of the books again?

*Role. Dear Lord, woman.

Nothing like coming to put flowers on Grandma’s grave and discovering she’s been scattered all over the place like dog food.”

I'm pretty sure most dog owners don't scatter foot around the ground. They usually put it in a bowl.

This entire post just reads awkwardly from a syntax point of view.

[apep727.livejournal.com]

Question: What is Zerbrowski’s first name?

Answer: Sorry, but he’s keeping that secret a bit longer. He considers it pretty awful though.

Translation: he's not important enough to have a first name. He's barely important enough to have an existence outside his relationship with Anita.

most people call it the Regional Preternatural Investigation Team, so they can use the acronym, RPIT, for the Rest in Peace Team.

That is not how acronyms work. Also, it's kind of stupid.

Question: When will we see his entire family on stage?

Answer: “Dancing” is an e-special short story where we finally got to see one of the police barbecues at Zerbrowski’s house.

Yeah, I remember that one. It basically boiled down to "Anita triumphs over the stupid haters". Just like in "Shutdown".

I’d been wanting to see Zerbrowski, his wife Katie, and their kids on stage in a major way for years, but there never seemed to be enough time in one of the main books.

Yeah, right. You couldn't find time in over two dozen novels to spend a chapter or two on a major supporting character? What, you couldn't cut one of the many entirely unnecessary multi-chapter sex scenes or episodes of Days of Our Un-Lives?

Question: When will we see Zerbrowski in a major roll in one of the books again?

Answer: Dead Ice has Zerbrowski back at Anita’s side helping her track rogue zombies and evil necromancers.

#ShamelessPlug

Zerbrowski made a face. “I bet. Nothing like coming to put flowers on Grandma’s grave and discovering she’s been scattered all over the place like dog food.”

And now I'm wondering how LKH feeds her dogs. Maybe another member of the quad takes care of that.

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

Zerbrowski and his wife Katie are barely on-stage at all in Dancing. I don't remember their kids being there in the slightest. Dancing is about how all other women want Nathaniel and how evil they are for that, how Anita's great at dancing because she just hangs there while Nathaniel and Micah push her around, how the only way to dance is a boy with a girl, and a bunch of LKH's other hangups. Zerbrowski and Katie don't serve any purpose except providing the house where the barbecue takes place.

If any other author refused to reveal a character's first name like this, I'd think they were saving it for their next book and maybe were proud of a funny little bit they'd written about it. But this is LKH, and as everyone else has already said, she's just so lazy she can't even bother to think of a first name for a recurring character. Especially one who will never be drawn into Anita's crotch.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

Wasn't there also creepy "cute" quasi-paedo shit with the kid whose hair was the same as Nathaniel's who wanted to kiss Anita like a big boy? And the sweeties were teaching him how to please a woman or something?

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

Yeah, Matthew, the kid of a widow who I think is JC's lawyer. For some reason Anita's harem is taking "care" of him now. Iirc, the "kiss Anita like a big boy" stuff was in another book, but the kid wanting to be just like Nathaniel's in Dancing. Also (looking over my outline of it now) he's been trying to French kiss -- and who knows what else -- the other children in pre-school. So, yeah. I'd blocked that out.

[apep727.livejournal.com]

That's so messed up. The fact that (if memory serves) they're all a bit dismissive of the kid's behavior is even more messed up.

That they also rag on the kid's mom for not being around all the time - despite being a single mother with a full-time job - is just the cherry on the sundae.

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

Plus Monica works for, and is under the "protection" of, Jean-Claude. I don't think she was given any choice in having Matthew at the Circus all the time. Nathaniel's the one who decided to drag the kid to this barbecue, and I don't recall him asking Monica's permission.

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

I think she was away for a week on business. I can't imagine that JC couldn't find better babysitters than Anita and her chief boitois. Was the rabid were-pit bull too busy?

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

Anita's perfection is such that despite lacking ALL conventional feminine traits other than bosoms, because she is so manly you know, she is really the ONLY ONE who can look after that child. Also her men are all more feminine than any woman and therefore are better at looking after the child NATURALLY than any other person. And they come as a package so what better babysitting option COULD there be? Why, none!

Or something.

[apep727.livejournal.com]

Also her men are all more feminine than any woman

And yet somehow not feminine at all, don't forget. Try not to think about how that works - you'll start bleeding out your ears.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

Feminine in a way that is more beautiful than any woman and yet somehow unmistakably masculine, and also able to manage floor-length hair with aplomb.

[rebootfromstart.livejournal.com]

Honestly, if Anita is bringing Micah and Nathaniel as her dates to events she's been invited to with a +1, then the police and their spouses are well within their rights to be unhappy with her for that.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

But they are BOOOOOTH her +1! OMG you and those police/spouses are SOOOO narrow-minded! Anita and her sweeties LOVE MOAR! They LOVE MOAR than all of us! And that's why they have to tongue kiss and grope each other 24-7, even at work and when babysitting tiny children.U JUST DUN UNNERSTAND!

[apep727.livejournal.com]

I can't help but think that Anita brought both of them specifically to get a reaction from the other guests. If she didn't want to stir up some shit, then she would have only brought one of her hubbies.

[darkestgrace.livejournal.com]

Does she just pull names out of a hat when she decides who gets to go with her? There's Micah and Nathaniel, and JC, and underage tiger, and halfbreed angst tiger, and lobotomised lion, and probably half a dozen more that I'm forgetting. At least she didn't insist on bringing all of them.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

Right? I am now wondering whether LKH refuses to go anywhere without the remainder of the polywog and insists on canoodling with them constantly.

It's all a bit sex-addicty, actually. Based on what I have been told about sex addicts, sex isn't about pleasure, it's about assuaging stress/anxiety/etc. Anita CONSTANTLY needs reassurance about her sexual desirablity and of course also has to, literally, feed off others via sex. I haven't been able to read the latter books but what is supposed to happen if Anita suddenly gets an arduerereraiur attack during the cops' barbecue? Is it pants down all dicks on deck regardless of who else is present or what?

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

Probably it means that everyone at the family BBQ gets a free sex show.

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

In Danse Macabre Anita thinks for about a second about how sex fulfills all her emotional needs now, and maybe she's addicted to it. But then that's thrown away in favor of rape and arguing interminably with Richard.

LKH doesn't write pleasure in her sex scenes at all. There's never any sense of what Anita's feeling, even physically. So...

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

Or do the unthinkable and go to what's mostly an event with work colleagues solo.

[apep727.livejournal.com]

Nah, that wouldn't get her nearly the amount of attention that showing up with two guys would. Showing up alone might get her pity - showing up with two hot guys makes her the center of attention. And Anita must always be the center of attention.

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

I guess. I was thinking about how the man and I deal with such things. Sometimes we will go together to an outside event with work friends and colleagues. Other times not. We both sort of know each other's co-workers, but sometimes it's boring to hang around a group (to which you don't belong) that's just going to "talk shop".

I'd never worry that somehow if I came to an event alone people would pity me. That sounds like something I would have worried about as a teenager. Which makes sense since most of Anita's characters and their interactions seem like they're stuck in high school if not middle school.

[apep727.livejournal.com]

Exactly. When dealing with this stuff, you can't think, "how would I, a normal, sane, mature person respond to this?", but rather, "how would a spoiled, petulant, teenager respond to this?"

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

Goodness, I just realized that I said "Anita's characters" when I meant LaLa's characters. Oh well, tomatoe, tomohtoe.

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

Anita was furious that Micah and Nathaniel couldn't make out at the family barbecue. Not that they couldn't show affection -- they were told that would be perfectly fine. But Katie warned them not to feel each other up and stick their tongues down each other's throats while there. Which I would normally chalk up to someone being homophobic, thinking that anyone who's not straight and monogamous is more likely to have inappropriate PDA in front of children than other people.

But in this case, no. Anita and Micah really and truly were infuriated that Micah and Nathaniel couldn't grope and "tonsil-cleaning kiss" (LKH's phrase, sexy huh?) at this barbecue with a bunch of strangers and children.

[viridian5.livejournal.com]

Which I would normally chalk up to someone being homophobic, thinking that anyone who's not straight and monogamous is more likely to have inappropriate PDA in front of children than other people.

Maybe her husband gave her a heads up on what Anita and her boyfriends are like, though if he told his wife much of what Anita is like and does I'm not sure she'd invite them to the barbecue.... (The stories that Zerbrowski could tell her....)

[darkestgrace.livejournal.com]

If I remember rightly, Micah's job is some kind of liason between therianthropes and the rest of the community, including the police. Shouldn't he know that sticking his tongue down his partner's throat at a family gathering is not going to reassure them of his professionalism? This shouldn't be shocking and offensive to him.

[openidwouldwork.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, we keep being told he is the goody-goody go-between guy, but we never see him liaise. In fact it turned out he is either fighting or fucking the other 'thropes into submission.

[apep727.livejournal.com]

Is there nothing in these books that don't come back to sex?

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

Nope.

[darkestgrace.livejournal.com]

There are 'puppy piles'. Just a bunch of adults sleeping naked together, how dare you think it might be sexual. Because it's not, it's a just a lycanthrope thing. Nothing sexual at all. Honestly.