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lkh_lashoutsLink: Love, Hate, Security, and the Writer
Disclaimer: This blog entry is verbatim, as originally posted on LKH's blog. Copyright belongs to Ma Petite Enterprises.
I’m on the plane flying from England to America. We’ve been gone for a month. It is the longest I have ever been away from home, except for the infamous tour for Narcissus in Chains which was twenty-six cities in twenty-eight days in October just after 9/11. I’ve never done another tour that was that long again. Part of it was the fact that no one seemed to know what to do at the airports. I got the business end of an automatic weapon pointed at me in St. Louis for trying to take a picture of airport security measures by a very nervous man in camflouge. He literally ordered me, “Don’t move, drop the camera!” It was like a comedy skit, except the gun was real and I said, “Yes, sir, but how do I not move and drop the camera?” I wasn’t trying to be funny, I was honestly not going to do anything to make him freak out more, the freak out level was high enough; thanks.
I’m not sure what would have happened if another man dressed in camo with more rank on his shoulders hadn’t come up and told him to lower his weapon and explain himself. At that time I was still wearing the designer skirt outfits and high heels, so I looked like a lot of business travelers and very unlike a bad guy, though bad guys can be tricky and look like everybody else.
The officer said, “No pictures in security.”
I said, “Okay, no pictures, got it, can I put my hands down now?”
“Yeah, and put the camera away.”
“Absolutely,” I said, happy to have orders I could comply with.
That pretty much set the tone for the tour. Jonathon would check the FAA report every morning trying to figure out what we were allowed to take on board and what was no longer allowed. At one airport they took our nail clippers as a weapon, at another they took my eyelash curler.
I said, “If I can take over the plane with an eyelash curler it deserves to be hijacked.” The desk attendant was not amused.
We were in San Fransisco for a bomb scare that closed the airport down for hours while we all stood in a line outside the building. The suspicious package turned out not to be all that suspicious, but by that time we’d gotten used to seeing people dressed like trees telling us what to do. Jonathon and I discussed options as we stood with our huge cart of luggage in case we saw the National Guardsmen run out of the building. A month on the road with no stop long enough for laundry, or dry cleaning, means it was a lot of luggage. We were going to use our suitcase pile as cover against the glass of the building behind us, depending on what part of the building we were creeping in line beside determined which side of the suitcase mountain we hid behind. Once the glass cleared, run like hell for the Jersey barriers and try to keep up with the Guardsmen. I remember really regretting the high heels for running possibilities.
This was also the tour that I was jumped by a disgruntled fan in the ladies room. A rather tall woman, she may have not been over six feet tall, but only seemed that tall after she slammed me up against the wall, and forced me in a corner (people often seem taller when they’re threatening you). She was angry about the new book, angry about Anita having sex with someone that wasn’t Richard, and angry with me for adding new men to her life, and basically not happy with the way my series had turned in book ten, Narcissus in Chains. Lucky for me I’d talked to a police friend ahead of time due to some other threats online, and took his advice to heart.
Never argue with the crazy person, never, ever destroy their delusion, just agree with it, or they could grow more violent. Okay, I told the crazy woman that I was unhappy with the way the series had gone, too. I’d written Richard to marry Anita, and I hated that they weren’t working better as a couple. I wasn’t happy about the greater sexual content, either. I agreed with pretty much everything she said, and she finally blinked at me, fists lowering to her sides. Why? Because most people want to be the good guys, and that means they want their victim to do something to give them an excuse to up the violence. They need to blame the victim, she made me do it, it was her fault, so they don’t have to see themselves as the villain.
I didn’t give her an excuse, or a “reason” to hurt me more, so she wandered away. She didn’t stay for the signing. I actually didn’t tell Jonathon what had happened until after we did the Q & A and signing, I think I was in shock. I mean someone had attacked me because my fictional character had dumped her favorite fictional boyfriend, Richard. It was too surreal, nonsensical even; I mean, who does violence because they don’t like how an author is writing her own series? As it turns out, more than you’d think.
The woman who attacked me was the only one who actually did something actively violent on that tour, thank goodness, but she wasn’t the only one that was furious about the new book and the new man in Anita Blake’s life. We had the angriest and rudest questions on this tour – ever. This was the beginning of fans asking how well-endowed my husband was, yeah you read that right. The first time they ask it, you’re just shocked, now, we’re sort of used to it. We’ve even managed to turn it into a light hearted moment when someone asks on tour, because it’s asked at least once every tour. Jonathon helps me make it into a joke, and no, we don’t answer the question. Nor do I answer the question for Jean-Claude, Richard, or Micah, which are almost always the men that they ask size on. I say, “If they were real, and truly my boyfriends, I wouldn’t tell you how well endowed they are,” or, “I don’t kiss and tell.”
This was also the first tour that someone called Anita and me a whore. Again, shocking the first time, now my answer is to the nice lady (always a lady) as she clutches her signed book to her chest (they always wait until I sign the book first) and leans in so most of the other fans won’t overhear, is, “Whore implies that a person takes money for sex. Neither Anita, nor I, take money so technically we’re not whores.” The woman blinks at me, thinks it through, then nods, agrees with me, and walks away satisfied in some way. Slut is a little more complicated, but that happens, too. I’ve got my answer for that one, but you get the idea.
Almost all the really rude or angry questions in the open Q & A stopped once we had visible security with us on tour, which means everyone chose to be mean, chose to vent their rage my direction. On the Narcissus tour I had so many people angry that Anita dumped Richard that I actually reread the scene I’d written, convinced I must be remembering it wrong. Nope, Richard dumps Anita, not the other way around, but a certain portion of the fans didn’t see it that way.
I have had other threats, against me and people I love. Enough that we’ve had the authorities of various flavors involved over the last decade and change. I remember one local detective when we went to him with some threats people had been so incautious as to leave up where we could get a print out of them:
“Did you write about their families?”
“No.”
“You wrote something religious they didn’t agree with?”
“No.”
“Political?”
“I write about vampires, zombies and werewolves, oh my, which is about as fictional as you can get.”
“And they want to kill you because of it?”
“Apparently,” I said.
He looked at me, shook his head, and said, “That’s one of the craziest things I’ve ever heard.”
I’ve since learned that you never want to be on a police officer’s list of, craziest, or worst thing, they’ve ever seen, heard, smelled, walked in, or experienced.
The police told me not to write about any of the above all those years ago because it might spread the craziness, but there comes a point where you just say, enough. I got well and truly spooked when all this was happening. I remember standing in a book store realizing that they knew what I looked like, but I didn’t know what they looked like, and feeling incredibly vulnerable. That was the year that I, ‘saw the elephant’ as they used to say of pioneers who tried to go West but went back East because it was just too much. Seeing the elephant means you’ve seen something so big, so frightening and unexpected, that you give up. I didn’t give up touring. I got security. I didn’t give up writing my book series the way I wanted to write it or the way the characters wanted it written – I hit the gym and got my carry permit. I started dressing more aggressively with the rockstar-stomp-your-ass boots, and my on stage persona got much more aggressive, too. I took my cue from stand up comedians and have now backed down mean-spirited fans from coast to coast, because verbal heckling will be met kind for kind.
I’m glad that so many of you love my books and that my characters seem so real to you that you are emotionally invested. I never pictured ever being the #1 Best Selling Book in the country, or being #1 on the New York Times List, or Publisher’s Weekly, or USA Today. I never dreamed of being translated into more than twelve languages, or selling millions of books. I never imagined that I’d be able to keep my family in the style to which they’ve become accustomed just from writing fiction. Most writers don’t even make minimum wage, and here I am. It’s pretty awesome, and totally unexpected. Thank you for reading and loving my books so much that my imaginary friends have become your friends, too. 99% of my fans are the nicest, best people on the planet. You are amazing! So why talk about that fraction of a fraction of a percentage? Because I’m ready to talk about it, and because maybe reading this will help someone else, either save another author from enduring this, or make a fan that could tip from positive to negative a rethink. Haters are going to hate, nothing changes that, this isn’t aimed at the haters, but the people who see the hate and think, “Oh, it’s just words. They’re not doing any harm.” Really? That’s the same reasoning that people who tell lynching jokes, say, “I’m not racist, it’s just a joke.” But if just one person hears the joke and they are a racist, you’ve just confirmed for them that they aren’t alone, because you’re like them, you’re a racist too, because otherwise you wouldn’t have said that joke. And if you’re very unlucky, the racist that hears you make the joke is insane enough to think if you joke about it, maybe it would be all right to do it for real. Trust me, the crazies are out there listening for enough echoes of their delusion to turn their violent thought into real life action. Still think your hate mongering online doesn’t do any harm? Well, then I can’t help you, you go on hating; as for me, I know that people are listening for someone to make them feel less crazy, to make them feel justified, to make it okay that they do something awful – you told them it was okay, because you hate just like they do.
Disclaimer: This blog entry is verbatim, as originally posted on LKH's blog. Copyright belongs to Ma Petite Enterprises.
I’m on the plane flying from England to America. We’ve been gone for a month. It is the longest I have ever been away from home, except for the infamous tour for Narcissus in Chains which was twenty-six cities in twenty-eight days in October just after 9/11. I’ve never done another tour that was that long again. Part of it was the fact that no one seemed to know what to do at the airports. I got the business end of an automatic weapon pointed at me in St. Louis for trying to take a picture of airport security measures by a very nervous man in camflouge. He literally ordered me, “Don’t move, drop the camera!” It was like a comedy skit, except the gun was real and I said, “Yes, sir, but how do I not move and drop the camera?” I wasn’t trying to be funny, I was honestly not going to do anything to make him freak out more, the freak out level was high enough; thanks.
I’m not sure what would have happened if another man dressed in camo with more rank on his shoulders hadn’t come up and told him to lower his weapon and explain himself. At that time I was still wearing the designer skirt outfits and high heels, so I looked like a lot of business travelers and very unlike a bad guy, though bad guys can be tricky and look like everybody else.
The officer said, “No pictures in security.”
I said, “Okay, no pictures, got it, can I put my hands down now?”
“Yeah, and put the camera away.”
“Absolutely,” I said, happy to have orders I could comply with.
That pretty much set the tone for the tour. Jonathon would check the FAA report every morning trying to figure out what we were allowed to take on board and what was no longer allowed. At one airport they took our nail clippers as a weapon, at another they took my eyelash curler.
I said, “If I can take over the plane with an eyelash curler it deserves to be hijacked.” The desk attendant was not amused.
We were in San Fransisco for a bomb scare that closed the airport down for hours while we all stood in a line outside the building. The suspicious package turned out not to be all that suspicious, but by that time we’d gotten used to seeing people dressed like trees telling us what to do. Jonathon and I discussed options as we stood with our huge cart of luggage in case we saw the National Guardsmen run out of the building. A month on the road with no stop long enough for laundry, or dry cleaning, means it was a lot of luggage. We were going to use our suitcase pile as cover against the glass of the building behind us, depending on what part of the building we were creeping in line beside determined which side of the suitcase mountain we hid behind. Once the glass cleared, run like hell for the Jersey barriers and try to keep up with the Guardsmen. I remember really regretting the high heels for running possibilities.
This was also the tour that I was jumped by a disgruntled fan in the ladies room. A rather tall woman, she may have not been over six feet tall, but only seemed that tall after she slammed me up against the wall, and forced me in a corner (people often seem taller when they’re threatening you). She was angry about the new book, angry about Anita having sex with someone that wasn’t Richard, and angry with me for adding new men to her life, and basically not happy with the way my series had turned in book ten, Narcissus in Chains. Lucky for me I’d talked to a police friend ahead of time due to some other threats online, and took his advice to heart.
Never argue with the crazy person, never, ever destroy their delusion, just agree with it, or they could grow more violent. Okay, I told the crazy woman that I was unhappy with the way the series had gone, too. I’d written Richard to marry Anita, and I hated that they weren’t working better as a couple. I wasn’t happy about the greater sexual content, either. I agreed with pretty much everything she said, and she finally blinked at me, fists lowering to her sides. Why? Because most people want to be the good guys, and that means they want their victim to do something to give them an excuse to up the violence. They need to blame the victim, she made me do it, it was her fault, so they don’t have to see themselves as the villain.
I didn’t give her an excuse, or a “reason” to hurt me more, so she wandered away. She didn’t stay for the signing. I actually didn’t tell Jonathon what had happened until after we did the Q & A and signing, I think I was in shock. I mean someone had attacked me because my fictional character had dumped her favorite fictional boyfriend, Richard. It was too surreal, nonsensical even; I mean, who does violence because they don’t like how an author is writing her own series? As it turns out, more than you’d think.
The woman who attacked me was the only one who actually did something actively violent on that tour, thank goodness, but she wasn’t the only one that was furious about the new book and the new man in Anita Blake’s life. We had the angriest and rudest questions on this tour – ever. This was the beginning of fans asking how well-endowed my husband was, yeah you read that right. The first time they ask it, you’re just shocked, now, we’re sort of used to it. We’ve even managed to turn it into a light hearted moment when someone asks on tour, because it’s asked at least once every tour. Jonathon helps me make it into a joke, and no, we don’t answer the question. Nor do I answer the question for Jean-Claude, Richard, or Micah, which are almost always the men that they ask size on. I say, “If they were real, and truly my boyfriends, I wouldn’t tell you how well endowed they are,” or, “I don’t kiss and tell.”
This was also the first tour that someone called Anita and me a whore. Again, shocking the first time, now my answer is to the nice lady (always a lady) as she clutches her signed book to her chest (they always wait until I sign the book first) and leans in so most of the other fans won’t overhear, is, “Whore implies that a person takes money for sex. Neither Anita, nor I, take money so technically we’re not whores.” The woman blinks at me, thinks it through, then nods, agrees with me, and walks away satisfied in some way. Slut is a little more complicated, but that happens, too. I’ve got my answer for that one, but you get the idea.
Almost all the really rude or angry questions in the open Q & A stopped once we had visible security with us on tour, which means everyone chose to be mean, chose to vent their rage my direction. On the Narcissus tour I had so many people angry that Anita dumped Richard that I actually reread the scene I’d written, convinced I must be remembering it wrong. Nope, Richard dumps Anita, not the other way around, but a certain portion of the fans didn’t see it that way.
I have had other threats, against me and people I love. Enough that we’ve had the authorities of various flavors involved over the last decade and change. I remember one local detective when we went to him with some threats people had been so incautious as to leave up where we could get a print out of them:
“Did you write about their families?”
“No.”
“You wrote something religious they didn’t agree with?”
“No.”
“Political?”
“I write about vampires, zombies and werewolves, oh my, which is about as fictional as you can get.”
“And they want to kill you because of it?”
“Apparently,” I said.
He looked at me, shook his head, and said, “That’s one of the craziest things I’ve ever heard.”
I’ve since learned that you never want to be on a police officer’s list of, craziest, or worst thing, they’ve ever seen, heard, smelled, walked in, or experienced.
The police told me not to write about any of the above all those years ago because it might spread the craziness, but there comes a point where you just say, enough. I got well and truly spooked when all this was happening. I remember standing in a book store realizing that they knew what I looked like, but I didn’t know what they looked like, and feeling incredibly vulnerable. That was the year that I, ‘saw the elephant’ as they used to say of pioneers who tried to go West but went back East because it was just too much. Seeing the elephant means you’ve seen something so big, so frightening and unexpected, that you give up. I didn’t give up touring. I got security. I didn’t give up writing my book series the way I wanted to write it or the way the characters wanted it written – I hit the gym and got my carry permit. I started dressing more aggressively with the rockstar-stomp-your-ass boots, and my on stage persona got much more aggressive, too. I took my cue from stand up comedians and have now backed down mean-spirited fans from coast to coast, because verbal heckling will be met kind for kind.
I’m glad that so many of you love my books and that my characters seem so real to you that you are emotionally invested. I never pictured ever being the #1 Best Selling Book in the country, or being #1 on the New York Times List, or Publisher’s Weekly, or USA Today. I never dreamed of being translated into more than twelve languages, or selling millions of books. I never imagined that I’d be able to keep my family in the style to which they’ve become accustomed just from writing fiction. Most writers don’t even make minimum wage, and here I am. It’s pretty awesome, and totally unexpected. Thank you for reading and loving my books so much that my imaginary friends have become your friends, too. 99% of my fans are the nicest, best people on the planet. You are amazing! So why talk about that fraction of a fraction of a percentage? Because I’m ready to talk about it, and because maybe reading this will help someone else, either save another author from enduring this, or make a fan that could tip from positive to negative a rethink. Haters are going to hate, nothing changes that, this isn’t aimed at the haters, but the people who see the hate and think, “Oh, it’s just words. They’re not doing any harm.” Really? That’s the same reasoning that people who tell lynching jokes, say, “I’m not racist, it’s just a joke.” But if just one person hears the joke and they are a racist, you’ve just confirmed for them that they aren’t alone, because you’re like them, you’re a racist too, because otherwise you wouldn’t have said that joke. And if you’re very unlucky, the racist that hears you make the joke is insane enough to think if you joke about it, maybe it would be all right to do it for real. Trust me, the crazies are out there listening for enough echoes of their delusion to turn their violent thought into real life action. Still think your hate mongering online doesn’t do any harm? Well, then I can’t help you, you go on hating; as for me, I know that people are listening for someone to make them feel less crazy, to make them feel justified, to make it okay that they do something awful – you told them it was okay, because you hate just like they do.
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no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 08:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 08:48 am (UTC)Story claiming that she got a gun pointed at her and got off a couple snappy lines: lie.
"Funny" line to someone working in an airport so soon after 9/11: I hope it's a lie, because that was an asshole thing to do.
No stop long enough to do laundry? Has she ever heard of laundromats? So what, she brought thirty changes of underwear? Uh...: I'm gonna go with lie, because I cannot imagine anyone being that dim. Or she and Jon were ultra-stinky.
Huge disgruntled fan slamming her into the wall: lie. None of these details have been in the story before, and besides, I don't believe anyone has ever cared enough about LKH's books to risk an assault charge.
Nope, Richard dumps Anita, not the other way around, but a certain portion of the fans didn’t see it that way.: SHE. CHEATED. ON. HIM. It was seriously dubcon with JC, but Richard didn't know that. Also those two still haven't broken up for good and all, sadly.
She thought that people saying "it's not too bright for Jon to have posted his and LKH's address prominently on his blog" constituted "threats." So: lies or delusion, I don't know which.
Never argue with the crazy person, never, ever destroy their delusion, just agree with it, or they could grow more violent. : LKH KNOWS ALL. Not only does she know how people should behave in violent situations, she also knows that all so-called "crazy" people are violent.
We had the angriest and rudest questions on this tour – ever: I hope this is the truth, and I hope they were extremely angry and what LKH thinks is "rude", which only boils down to questioning her perfection. I don't believe anyone asked in person about Jon's dick size though.
Nor do I answer the question for Jean-Claude, Richard, or Micah, which are almost always the men that they ask size on.: This information can be found in the books. And though LKH keeps TELLING us Richard and especially Micah have gargantuan cocks, when she went into detail, we found that Micah's penis, when hard, just barely touches his belly button. And since he's only 5'3...
And dear lord don't talk about how YOU don't "kiss and tell" when it comes to your characters. You're not "kissing" them, Laurell, they don't exist. Also, it's pretty damn precious to pretend to refuse to be explicit about cock size when you're writing porn.
I’ve since learned that you never want to be on a police officer’s list of, craziest, or worst thing, they’ve ever seen, heard, smelled, walked in, or experienced.: Uh, so she's on that list then? Are they the grammar police?
have now backed down mean-spirited fans from coast to coast, because verbal heckling will be met kind for kind: I think I would have heard of this if it had happened. Instead I keep hearing about how Jon steals the microphone from her. Lie. Also, that floofy Goth stuff is supposed to make her look badass? Yeesh.
So why talk about that fraction of a fraction of a percentage? Because I’m ready to talk about it: When is she NOT? The "Dear Negative Reader" blog was in 2006, for the sake of every fuck!
That’s the same reasoning that people who tell lynching jokes... wow.
I. The. What. Wow. She went there. Go bathe in Legos, Laurell.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 10:40 am (UTC)NGL I'm pretty sure she's on that list. Specially since she admits that she's called various agencies over the years. I'm pretty sure if there had been a serious threat, she would have crowed it from the rooftops rather than snidely calling critics jealous whiner babies or running into that last analogy of "it is YOU who are racist!"
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 09:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-30 09:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 02:39 pm (UTC)Yeah, this feels like one of those stories that's grown over the years, like the ones in her fear of flying blog. Can I believe that a disgruntled fan confronted her in the ladies' room? Sure. But I doubt they got violent.
Nope, Richard dumps Anita, not the other way around, but a certain portion of the fans didn’t see it that way.: SHE. CHEATED. ON. HIM.
I'm not surprised she forgot that bit, given the non-continuity the series has developed.
Nor do I answer the question for Jean-Claude, Richard, or Micah, which are almost always the men that they ask size on.: This information can be found in the books.
You'd think someone would have pointed out that she's the one who keeps going on about how well endowed they are. Can't blame the fans for wanting specifics. Also, I doubt anyone asked about how big Jon-her-husband-Jon is.
have now backed down mean-spirited fans from coast to coast, because verbal heckling will be met kind for kind: I think I would have heard of this if it had happened. Instead I keep hearing about how Jon steals the microphone from her.
Now that sounds like a reason for the "mean-spirited fans" to stop coming - they know there's no point, and don't feel like putting up with any abuse Jon might hurl their way.
So why talk about that fraction of a fraction of a percentage?
Just want to point out that LKH doesn't seem to understand how percentages work. If "99%" of her fans are this great adoring mass, then that means a whole 1% aren't - not a "fraction of a fraction of a percentage". And I kinda doubt those numbers are remotely accurate at this point.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 09:39 pm (UTC)Considering everyone who posts on her amazon board at this point is highly critical of her work? Yeah. I'm sure it's possible for someone with tons of fans to end up with a tiny vocal minority who are able to orchestrate something like that. But then there would be evidence of that fact all over the net, like the presence of many positive reviews on various sites (like amazon itself), etc. And not a whole bunch of one-line "loved it!"-type reviews by accounts that have reviewed nothing else.
LKH's sales are tanking -- while she still reaches numbers most writers would be happy with, the difference between where she is now and where she used to be is stark. Trying to blame that on the "haters" isn't going to work. Hell, the "haters" might be her most devoted fans at this point, just for the trainwreck factor.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-30 06:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-30 11:29 pm (UTC)Surely "meanspirited fans" aren't really fans?
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 10:34 am (UTC)I'm pretty sure the jokey answer to the last part is, 'Actually, it's about ethics in book criticism.'
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 02:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 02:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 08:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-30 09:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 03:06 pm (UTC)The whole 'she's so CRAZZZZ-AYYYYY' thing really bugs me. Like, people are not crazy because they offer criticisms of your work. I find the labelling of people as just being 'crazy' to be a pretty shitty thing to do. I don't know what happened with that bathroom incident but I have never read before read that it was that violent. And that she gets enough threats to have the police be interested? If there are that many threats, why aren't the police more involved - like, say, they are with the women being targeted by GamerGate?
didn’t give up writing my book series the way I wanted to write it or the way the characters wanted it written – I hit the gym and got my carry permit.
People criticised your books and so you decided to carry a gun. Right. That doesn't seem disproportionate at all.
Still think your hate mongering online doesn’t do any harm? Well, then I can’t help you, you go on hating; as for me, I know that people are listening for someone to make them feel less crazy, to make them feel justified, to make it okay that they do something awful – you told them it was okay, because you hate just like they do.
Yeah, I'm just a big mean ol'hater. Hating way, somehow being exactly the same as a violent racist because that's surely the same thing. You done waving around your privilege?
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 08:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-30 04:48 am (UTC)Also, who the fuck takes a photograph of security after a terrorist incident?
no subject
Date: 2015-08-30 08:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-30 11:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-30 11:25 am (UTC)But it's great that we have Laurell and her "one size fits all and just get over it" wisdom as far as mental health goes, really.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-30 12:05 pm (UTC)I've had my own mental health issues, though not as severe as what we're discussing. And yeah, "yep, you're worthless, everyone hates you, you should just give up" -- again, brilliant, Laurell.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-30 10:36 pm (UTC)ARRRRRRGH!
Date: 2015-08-30 07:37 pm (UTC)LKH wouldn't survive therapy, because she'll never be willing to look at all her issues and shit that she needs to work on, acknowledge and work to change it. The second she realized it wasn't just going to be her going on and on about how awesome she is and the therapist singing her praises? She'd quit and write a blog called "Dear Negative Therapist." :P
Whew! Sorry for the long rant. D: I love this comm, been a lurker for a long time but this is my first post. *waves*
RE: ARRRRRRGH!
Date: 2015-08-30 11:45 pm (UTC)Yes, you read that right: were-hedgehog porn.
And it has all the terrible tropes associated with the latest batch of paranormal romance.
RE: ARRRRRRGH!
Date: 2015-08-31 12:55 am (UTC)I... the... werehedg... *blinks* Wow.
Date: 2015-08-31 12:56 am (UTC)On another note, clearly whoever wrote that has never actually seen hedgies getting their cute little freak on or seen a hedgehog penis. (Oh how I wish I hadn't! But I have two males and have recently started breeding hedgies so I've seen far more than I ever wanted to of both those things.) Because hedgehog sex = NOT sexy by any stretch of even the most depraved imagination and hedgehog penises are, frankly, rather disturbing. (One of my boys, Nigel, loves to randomly whip out his junk and look around like "Hell-looo, ladies... I'm hung like a squirrel, yo!" and the first time he did so I thought maybe there was something wrong with it. Later on, he proudly showed it off to the vet so I was able to ask and nope, that's how it's supposed to look.)
RE: I... the... werehedg... *blinks* Wow.
Date: 2015-08-31 01:55 am (UTC)The sporking's over on Das Sporking, and the book's called Hedging His Bets (or something like that). Because of course it is.
RE: ARRRRRRGH!
Date: 2015-09-01 07:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-30 02:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-30 04:48 am (UTC)So she doesn't have any good stories from her recent trip or fan meetings and felt compelled to embellish events many years old instead?
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Date: 2015-08-30 06:13 am (UTC)Someone on the Amazon forum said LaLa used the same story about the eyelash curler when she blogged about one of her sexy Denver trips a few years ago. So it looks like she included every story she had or could embellish about airline security and plopped it in her "people were mean to me" story.
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Date: 2015-08-30 01:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-31 10:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-31 10:57 pm (UTC)I've never been pulled aside, even when I was traveling with my mother and she was. It's like I have invisible "daughter of a lawyer" shields.
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Date: 2015-09-01 09:52 pm (UTC)One good thing about being nice to everyone even the undeserved is that I usually get pretty good service from folks who are used to people treating them at best sullenly. All of garage guys at my job will run to do things for me. My co-workers are all like, "what do you do for them?" IDK I'm nice, friendly, ask them about their families.
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Date: 2015-09-01 10:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-09-01 10:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-09-01 10:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-31 11:13 pm (UTC)About the recent trip, give it a few years to ferment into something, then she'll be back. Like a fine wine (whine) it only gets better with age.
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Date: 2015-09-01 09:52 pm (UTC)Like many people LaNita mouths off to, instead of being impressed by her wit he probably figured she was an ass.
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Date: 2015-08-31 11:14 pm (UTC)I do like how everything is hyperbole with her and she doesn't even know it.
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Date: 2015-09-02 09:00 am (UTC)