Blog Flog

[darksongtrilogy.livejournal.com]

URL: http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2006_07_01_archive.html
Title: Jack London Square, San Francisco
Date: 7/11/2006

LKH italicized, me in plain.

First we have internet access, so we can blog from the road, yea!. We did Jack London Square's Barnes and Noble in San Francisco last night. It was as always a wonderful event. Jerry the manager had another of his original poems that he read as introduction. The title of this poem was, "Who's your Daddy." Yeah, you read what you thought you read. Always fun. 

I nominate Jerry for Manager of the Universe. "Who's Your Daddy?" at a reading of Danse Macabre? Nice.

We saw a lot of familiar faces, that we hadn't seen since the Cerulean Sins tour, which was the last time we'd been back there. Truthfully, Jon and I couldn't remember, but the fans did. We also saw a lot of new faces. We had about 150 to 175 people in line last night. The trend of summer crowds being a little smaller than the spring and autumn crowds across the country continues.

I will begin accepting wagers to NOW on whether on not this "trend" will prove true this fall. Step right up to place your bets.

 But we did this number of people in about three hours. Not four, not five, but three. One, there were fewer pictures, but also my arm is holding up well. The exercise has really made a difference. Let's hear it for weight lifting. It means I can actually sign faster. We're still visiting with everyone in line, but I'm not having to slow my pace on the signing part like I did last tour. Very cool.

The verb 'did' in this context disturbs me. And I quote another author that remarked: "Showing up at signings covered with props, armrests and ice packs makes us authors look like wimps. Don't do it." Memo to world: LKH does NOT represent us.

Thanks to everyone that gave us gifts last night, and if we missed a night, or a gift, thanks to everyone at all the other signings this time out, too.

I know it's just my dislike for her, but this reminds me of the twits in high school that used to play with their hair, sigh, and say "I wish I weren't, like, so popular, you know?" 

We got to sleep in this morning, which helped a lot. We also got out of the store last night between 9:30 and 10:00 which meant bed time wasn't so late either. Sleep is a good thing on tour. We've never been to San Francisco in the summer. We'd never seen the famous summer fogs curl over the city, around the bay like some soft, white coat. The air was positively cool when we landed. Very nice.

*gags* Okay, so she's describing the fogs she's never seen in her trademark "rich, sensual prose." (Everyone remember that blog?)

I have actually had time to enter some of my notebook scribblings into the computer. I said I was three hundred pages into the next book, but technically the page number is 287. I have enough notes to take it over 290, but unsure if I'll actually make the magic 300. I'm throwing out some of the notes. Anita and the gang are just sitting down to breakfast in the book. 

300 pages, and they're just getting to breakfast. I bet she can set a land slowness record with the next book at that rate. 50,000 pages detailing the minutiae of Anita putting her shoes on. "Seeing the laces go through the holes just flat did it for me."

It's too early for fetish wear, so something more causal for the boys, even if it is going to turn into a business meeting with the wererats.

CASUAL! CASUAL!  Why can the NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR not learn how to spell?! Anyone? Bueller? *tears at hair* And there's a dress code for fetish wear? What, no cut-outs for butt cheeks after Labor Day?

We'll be signing tonight at the Borders in Union Square here. We'll see everyone at 7:00 tonight. Be well, and hope you guys get a relaxing day, too. This is the most relaxing day we've had on tour. We're going to try and enjoy it.

I believe that she will try. And fail. If there were an eight dwarf in Snow White, it'd be Gloomy, and LKH would dress in leather and play his part. With pointy little shoes.

Comments

[gorgeousnerd]

Okay, I'm submitting this as a general question to the masses, but isn't Jack London Square in Oakland? I've only been there once, but I'm almost positive that it's not in San Francisco.

[tyger-raven.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I was about to point this little tidbit out. Yes, Jack London Square is in OAKLAND. If she didn't think her mindless masses would recognize Oakland, she should have said SF BAY AREA, because that's more accurate.

Although, I begin to get the feeling that LKH might actually believe Jack London Square is in San Francisc. Bleah!

[dracoliciousss.livejournal.com]

im pretty sure this is the 8th time she's mentioned how the weight lifting has paid off. Maybe i'm being deliberately petty or whatever, but i think using a pen only involves the extrinsic flexor muscles of the hand, and as such, weight lifting wouldn't make a difference. So she's either gripping a pen so hard she's using her biceps, or the pen weighs 75 lbs because it's filled with the souls of forgotten characters.

[mneiai.livejournal.com]

It could also depend on how she uses her wrist, though, which would affect a lot more. But even then--I doubt it would be such an intensive, elaborate work out to warrant eight mentions....

[sinonada.livejournal.com]

Not petty, cause I thought the same thing. I know you got the exercising down and the arm works wonders. Now maybe if she signed some copies ahead of time and only addressed them at signings we can get back to "making pages" (since that is all she cares about).

[rantingmule.livejournal.com]

Okay. Seriously. My brain is melting. THREE HUNDRED PAGES, AND THEY'RE JUST SITTING DOWN TO BREAKFAST. Please, PLEASE, somebody fry her harddrive so this book will not exist!!!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_hallow_/]

LOL! Well the book probably started the night before, with hours of tight, wet cervix slamming euphoria.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_hallow_/]

I hate that she's proud of page count. Page count doesn't matter if you have 300 pages of crap.

[wickedmommy.livejournal.com]

Amen to that!!!!!

[rantingmule.livejournal.com]

These days that's all she brags about on her blog. Not "Well we advanced the plot a lot today" or "we got the story more fleshed out"...no, it's always "well we got (insert number here) pages done."

One...what's up with the WE?!? Two...seriously!!! What the fuck.

[darksongtrilogy.livejournal.com]

If I were in any way affiliated with MPE, I'd be blogging furiously: "What's this we stuff, Custer?"

[keepsake]

It's the Royal We, der.

[bleedtoblue.livejournal.com]

best part of the Blogflog? Comments.

and knowing I'm not alone in my hatred for LKH's sins.

[lightysnake.livejournal.com]

And if you took out the 'fuck me while I'm tight'...you'd probably have a book somewhere along the lines half the length.

I'm a bit new so pardon my ignorance...but I heard about some massive issues with LKH's blog some time ago...something about insulting her detractors?

[rantingmule.livejournal.com]

OH YES. She's a total bitch to anyone who doesn't LOVE LOVE LOVE her books.

Here's a link to all past Blog Flogs. Enjoy! http://community.livejournal.com/lkh_lashouts/tag/blogflog

[faeriethistle.livejournal.com]

Oh, Mule!
You just sent me on a Beatles kick. From "All You Need is Love" to "Paperback Writer."

I need a job so I want to be a paperback writer
or
It's the dirty story of a dirty man and his clinging wife doesn't understand that she wants to be a whorewriter!

Shame on me for ruining the Beatles. ~uses wet noodles for flail~

[dracoliciousss.livejournal.com]

there's one where she goes completely batshit insane...i'll look for it, its well worth a read :)

[randomsome1.livejournal.com]

Out of curiosity, since I haven't been here for too long... Is there any particular blog that marks the beginning of the end?

[mariakatarina.livejournal.com]

I wonder how many times she'll notice or not notice the fewer numbers of people showing up to book signings. Growing trend indeed. And Honey, summer's got nothing to do with it.

"Seeing the laces go through the holes just flat did it for me." **cracks up** You win.

[dinsedaledarby.livejournal.com]

the laces line= genius.
Love the idea of reading "who's your daddy" at DM signing. Fits very well. *props to manager*

Fetish and breakfast shouldn't go in the same sentence...

[klmorgan.livejournal.com]

(Everyone remember that blog?)

Oooh, no, I've forgotten! Someone link me!

"Seeing the laces go through the holes just flat did it for me."

HAHAHAH! *wipes eyes* Best line evah. Awesome flog.

[sadlikeknives.livejournal.com]

It's too early for fetish wear, so something more causal for the boys, even if it is going to turn into a business meeting with the wererats.

What do you mean, 'even if?' These are the wererats we're talking about, here. Rafael. Dr. Lillian. Claudia. Fetish wear would be supremely inappropriate for any sort of meeting with the one lycanthrope group in the city that is clinging to its dignity by teeth and nails. Although it might establish for the wererats that yes, they are superior.

[sadlikeknives.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, no, but I've gotten a lot of, "OMG BLASPHEMY!" going in both directions.

[dinsedaledarby.livejournal.com]

love that icon. sorry random comment. :)

[ladyravana.livejournal.com]

The title of this poem was, "Who's your Daddy." Yeah, you read what you thought you read. Always fun.

*snickers* Oh, the irony. I wish LKH could see it. That's very apropos, all things considered.

Oh, and the dwindling fans not showing up at her book signings. "Oh, it must be because it's summer. Fancy that."

Interesting trend there.It ahhhh, couldn't be that your books suck? Oh no, not at all.

Yeah. Right. Fewer are showing up because it's summer. Suuuuuuure.

You just keep telling yourself that, Laurell honey. Maybe you'll start to believe it.

(Don't rememeber who said this, but I'm paraphrasing here.)

*claps hands* I believe in denial! I do! I do!

LKH's personal motto.

[rantingmule.livejournal.com]

I deeply want to go to a book signing. Just so LKH can get it clear that some of us *cough*ME, for one*cough* are willing to tell her TO HER FACE (politely, of course) that her books suck.

It is my dream to walk up to the book signing table, hand her something to sign, and ask her why she just FORGOT that Narcissus is psychic. It is my pet peeve. I dearly wish to hear her answer to THAT!!!

If I ever have money and a car (for I as a starving artist have neither. :P) I will make a point of going to one of her book signings. SERIOUSLY.

And I will wear a t-shirt that says "PROUD MEMBER OF THE LKH LASHOUTS COMMUNITY." Or something.

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

"Seeing the laces go through the holes just flat did it for me."

It's too early for fetish wear, so something more causal for the boys, even if it is going to turn into a business meeting with the wererats.

Argh! I thought this was a parody the first two times. That's awful.

Link Fix

[naeko.livejournal.com]

The blog being flogged here can now be found at http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/index.php/site/jack_london_square_san_francisco/