Jean-Claude Cover Comment
Oct. 19th, 2006 05:49 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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lkh_lashoutsI was looking around and reading a cover-snarking blog. I wanted to share the thoughts they had on the Jean-Claude cover for Guilty Pleasures. There's a picture on the website if you want a reminder.
To me it looks like Jean-Claude is growing another collar out of his shoulder instead having a neck like the rest of the population. It's nice to see he hasn't lost the wandering scar.
This dude looks like he goes through four bottles of Soul-Glo just to get that right amount of sheen and slime to his manly locks. Gross. And what's with the band-aid over his boobage? Did he cut himself shaving or something? Eww. I don't dig his overly lean and muscled body, either. It reminds me of the model of the human musculatory system that I saw on my A.P. Physiology book. I kind of dig the lace-up leather pants he's wearing, though (is it me or are his humongous balls scary as hell?). It takes a special kind of man to pull that look off and that kind of man also sleeps with other men (which Jean Claude enthusiastically does). LKH always talks about how "manly" Jean Claude is even though he's supposedly prettier than Anita, but you guys, JC just looks like a bitch here. The kind of bitch who'd throw acid on your face if he caught you talking to his man. Hell, I bet he'd scare the shit out of Joan Collins, looking like he does.
To me it looks like Jean-Claude is growing another collar out of his shoulder instead having a neck like the rest of the population. It's nice to see he hasn't lost the wandering scar.
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Date: 2006-10-20 02:41 pm (UTC)Okay. Deep, calming breaths.
I can take the too-white skin, creepy as it is. I can stand the fact that "I Touch Myself" is now stuck in my head after looking at this picture. I can even take the banana-codpiece and band-aid-scar.
But what the fuck is up with his face? His eyes are practically on opposite sides of his head, his ears are . . . god, I'm not even getting into that . . . I bet he doesn't even bite people to feed anymore. He just stabs them with his chin. Also? Michael Jackson would like this nose back.
Golden proportions, you filthy, filthy hacks! He's supposed to be a classical beauty, not a genetic freakshow in leather pants.