Jean-Claude Cover Comment

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

I was looking around and reading a cover-snarking blog. I wanted to share the thoughts they had on the Jean-Claude cover for Guilty Pleasures. There's a picture on the website if you want a reminder.

This dude looks like he goes through four bottles of Soul-Glo just to get that right amount of sheen and slime to his manly locks. Gross. And what's with the band-aid over his boobage? Did he cut himself shaving or something? Eww. I don't dig his overly lean and muscled body, either. It reminds me of the model of the human musculatory system that I saw on my A.P. Physiology book. I kind of dig the lace-up leather pants he's wearing, though (is it me or are his humongous balls scary as hell?). It takes a special kind of man to pull that look off and that kind of man also sleeps with other men (which Jean Claude enthusiastically does). LKH always talks about how "manly" Jean Claude is even though he's supposedly prettier than Anita, but you guys, JC just looks like a bitch here. The kind of bitch who'd throw acid on your face if he caught you talking to his man. Hell, I bet he'd scare the shit out of Joan Collins, looking like he does.

To me it looks like Jean-Claude is growing another collar out of his shoulder instead having a neck like the rest of the population. It's nice to see he hasn't lost the wandering scar.

Comments

[wickedmommy.livejournal.com]

Scary. Extremely scary.

[salveo-opes.livejournal.com]

When I went and looked, I read that as 'limited edition porn' for some reason.

*headdesk*

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

Oh gods, my eyes are now fixated on the balls. The giant, weird-shaped balls.

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

Oh no! Now you're got me looking. It's like he's got a pinapple in there.

[randomsome1.livejournal.com]

My GOD, that is some scary anatomy. What happened to his skin? After a few hundred years he decided to have it tightened, and there's really a bow of dead-whitenes stuck between his shoulderblades?

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

hehe, well you know between the bone-fingers and Micah-rod you don't notice the kool-aid drool.

[defiler-wyrm.livejournal.com]

AHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yes. THIS:
JC just looks like a bitch here. The kind of bitch who'd throw acid on your face if he caught you talking to his man.
...is my laugh of the WEEK.

[pandorasblog]

His head's on at a funny angle... probably that unnatural-looking collarbone area is contributing to that impression. His mid-section seems a little... stretched. The balls could fall on his petite Anita and crush her in the night, though that probably wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Also, can I just draw attention to how badly the text has been integrated with the cover image? So many people have no idea how to put covers together, but it shouldn't bloody happen at Marvel! The main logo is in the wrong place and shows poor colour-choice, and the handwritten font for 'Guilty Pleasures' is cheap, tacky, and out of tone with the rest.

Covers matter!

[world-of-eos.livejournal.com]

Okay . . . okay.

Okay. Deep, calming breaths.

I can take the too-white skin, creepy as it is. I can stand the fact that "I Touch Myself" is now stuck in my head after looking at this picture. I can even take the banana-codpiece and band-aid-scar.

But what the fuck is up with his face? His eyes are practically on opposite sides of his head, his ears are . . . god, I'm not even getting into that . . . I bet he doesn't even bite people to feed anymore. He just stabs them with his chin. Also? Michael Jackson would like this nose back.

Golden proportions, you filthy, filthy hacks! He's supposed to be a classical beauty, not a genetic freakshow in leather pants.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

MY EYES.

Granted, I can't really draw men because they tend to be all squares- women are easier for me to draw. Plus, boobs. Who doesn't enjoy boobs on some level?

But...egad. No. Just...no.

I know I could probably use his abs to grate cheese, but part of me just wants to crack the white candy outer shell and watch cherry liqueur ooze out. Because he totally got that torso from a mould. A crazy, badly carved mould - the same one used on the Joel Schumacher Batsuits.

Meanwhile, it's a good thing that Jareth needs no pants, otherwise he'd be hassling JC to give them all back.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I tall goes in my Art-type stuff (http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=dwg&keyword=Art-type+stuff&filter=all) memories section when I get around to drawing. I have to be in a mood for drawing, and I kinda suck at colour bigtime.

Most of the time, I just draw Frank cartoons (http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=dwg&keyword=Frank&filter=all). :P