Curious about this for awhile...

[saucyirishlass.livejournal.com]

It's been said in many places by different people that LKH's portrayal of the BDSM lifestyle is off. I know a bit more than just the basics - ah, the joys of reading - and can sort of inherently pick up that something isn't right with her depiction, but I can't really articulate it. I was just curious to hear from those who participate in the lifestyle, what they personally find offensive, frustrating, or just headdesk-worthy about LKH's portrayal. Perhaps they can help make it clearer to me why it feels amiss.

Comments

[booster-blue.livejournal.com]

I you used LKH's books to understand how the BDSM community worked, you'd assume that all we did was sit in bedrooms and have bad sex at all hours of the day. She completely ignores the fact that there are relationships to be had. Tops don't just simply walk up to any submissive and drag them off to screw them mindless. You have to actually get to know the person you're going to get involved with. Not everyone is into the same thing, and a responsible dominant will make sure that he/she and their submissive are compatible. And the submissive will do their part in being honest with what their turns ons and limits are so as to not be overwhelmed.

Trust is a big thing in the community, and Anita/Merry don't show that in the least. They operate under the thinking that everything will work itself out, so there's no need to try and address any problems that might arise among their harems. LKH writes that sex is some sort of magical cure-all to any problems in the world. No long lasting romantic relationship can survive on just sex alone; but Merry/Anita can't be bothered with things like thinking about how their men feel (unless it get in the way of them getting their jollies).

Their selfish mistresses that see no merit in caring for their subs. And that's never a good thing with BDSM.

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

Like how she selfishly likes them with long hair, but selfishly doesn't consider that it's a hazard in a fight and life with her will always involve fighting so maybe there should be some sort of compromise?

Yeah.

*glowers quietly now*

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

I'm assuming the fact that it magically LOOKS short in a ponytail does not count as a compromise so much?

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

I've always wondered how come hair does that for men, in her books, yet women wear normal sassy pony-tails, or low pony-tails, or chignons or librarian buns and yet never look like 'Their Hair Is Pastede On - Yay!'

[hellfire82.livejournal.com]

I think all of the men have mullets.

[kali1967.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's another thing that bugged me with LKH's view on BDSM-all sex, all the time. Reminds me of a fanfic where a guy had his submissive always naked when in the house, always wearing a collar that couldn't be removed, and always wearing a butt plug/dildo/vibrator/whatever shoved up his ass.

I've never actually seen anyone portray BDSM in a realistic way in a novel. I wonder if such a thing exists?

[zombiexbunny.livejournal.com]

I thought the Marketplace Series by Laura Antoniou was EXCELLENT.

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

The movie "Secretary"? Was that one pretty true to life/true to psychology?

(I had a novel in mind to ask about, but I read it in 1997 -- all in one day, couldn't put it down -- but I cannot for the life of me remember title or author, and that's going to bother me ALL DAY. ALL DAY I tell you.)

Plus, the Google searches I'd have to engage in to find it should probably be conducted at home, not work... ^__^

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

TOPPING FROM BELOW. It was Topping From Below, by Laura Reese. I love it when the answers just pop spontaneously into your head while you're distracted.

The problem with this (I'm guessing) is that the dominant turns out to be the antagonist. It's a thriller. Still, I don't know -- aside from that, did this novel do the lifestyle any justice? (Just in case anyone has read it.) From the sub's point of view, at least?

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

But she buys them clothes. That makes her a GREAT mistress. Gag