Unimpressive vampires

[easol.livejournal.com]

You know, I've been thinking for a LONG time about why I'm underwhelmed by LKH's vampires. Yeah, they have the whole foppish Euro anime charmer thing down (just once I'd like to see a good-guy vampire who keeps making social faux pas), complete with Lestatian Franglish.

But they're really kinda lacking in individuality or personality. As far as I can tell, successful vampires have to have basically two kinds of slants:

1: They have to be bad and/or powerful, smart and impressive, like Dracula. Aside from being the Sauron of vampire fiction, he's impressive because he's powerful, cunning and deadly enough to scare us out of our socks, and STILL has a personality. Nuff zed.

2: They have to have some unique slant on the typical vampire mythos, or the vampire has to have some kind of special personal quirks. For the former, think the postapocalyptic sci-fi world of "Vampire Hunter D," or the hopping Chinese vampires of "Mr. Vampire," or even the quiet, socially withdrawn Haji of "Blood+". For the latter, think Butcher's Thomas Raith, who's a gorgeous slob, carries a shotgun and a Cavalry sword, and can be as funny as his brother.

I think that once LKH's vampires fit vaguely into the first category -- they gave no new spins to the vampire mythos, nor were they quirky or funny. But they did come across as dangerous and impressive, and there was Machievellian scheming going on. JC was no Dracula, but he wasn't too predictable.

However... LKH basically destroyed that when Anita became the Powerfullest Person in the world. The good-guy vampires are emasculated ; they don't seem dangerous, they never plot or manipulate, and for all their supposed power they answer to Whorenita. The bad guys aren't able to do much either, and are usually reduced to lying in bed sending bad dreams to Anita, or sitting on the sidelines saying nasty things to her. Sometimes they even get into fights with her, which they always lose.

So summed up, her vampires are not really impressive anymore. And they've never been unique.

Maybe I'm being too critical, or too analytical, but this is the impression I've gotten. Does anyone else feel this way?

Comments

[drho.livejournal.com]

You're not being too critical. LKH vampires have always been derivative -- from the Gomez Adams French to the Lestat look-alikes. While I agree that the vampires were less predictable in the first books, I don't think you're being too critical by noticing that they aren't now.

[vlredreign.livejournal.com]

I agree with you.

When we first met Jean Claude, he was a plotting, scheming, sex-on-a-stick vampire, who did his damndest to get into Anita's pants. And no matter what was going on, he always managed to pull at least one "Oh, did I forget to mention that? My bad." It's what made him fun.

That's what it was. They may have been stereotypical, but they were fun. I remember being afraid of Nikolaos, Serephina, and Alejandro. I remember when Asher first showed up, in his Morpheus/Matrix leather coat, smoking a cigarette. Duuuude! And attitude, damn!! I'm glad he got over his hatred of Jean Claude, but still, Asher had balls. Plus, he could fly. The Ahser that I loved was in Blue Moon, when he, Anita and Jason were discussing the werewolves coming to rape her. Someone stuck a hand through a window, and Asher reached up, broke the wrist, and kept talking. Now? He's a pussy. And I thought he was gay. It was my assumption, and correct me if I'm wrong, that gay men would run screaming from a cootchie. I think I liked him better when he was tortured.

Meng Die...WTF was that? She's the only adult female vamp, and it took both Jean Clause, her maker, and Asher, who's older than Jean Claude, to subdue her. And why? Cause Anita was glomming her men. I mean, really! Remember the vamps with Serephina, the rotters? One of them used to whip Jean Claude back in the day. Those were scary bitches. That's why I have a hard time reading past Blue Moon. At least then, everyone was more or less acting the same.

And if Anita can beat any vamp she comes across, seriosly, what does that say about Jean Claude's power base? People challenge him all the time, but that's because he's let his human servant usurp him in power. Soon they will see that jean Clause is vulnerable, and attempt to kill him. And it's LKH's fault, because she's really made him expendable to give her avatar a stage to perform on. You know, if Anita takes the final mark from JC, she'll be more powerful than him. Don't they kill you for that?

[rfienneslover.livejournal.com]

And I thought he was gay. It was my assumption, and correct me if I'm wrong, that gay men would run screaming from a cootchie. Actually, I thought Asher was bisexual. Didn't he have a human servant way back when, named Julianna, that he was deeply in love with and whose death was a source of much angst between him and Jean Claude?

[no-ron.livejournal.com]

reading these before/after comparisons always makes me think LKH's been replaced by an alien clone..
it's pretty mind-boggling.

[ladyvy.livejournal.com]

And I thought he was gay. It was my assumption, and correct me if I'm wrong, that gay men would run screaming from a cootchie.

The usage of cootchie is what had me snorting half of the Orange-Mango juice I was drinking. You're the only person I know besides myself that actually uses the word. Asher is actually bi with the whole Julianna, human servant thing happening. Although I would've loved it if he had run away from her or better yet, kill Whorenita in her sleep because Asher has decided he wants JC all to himself. I think that'd be a good way to end the series with a bang.

[sharkbytes.livejournal.com]

I think earlier in the series, the vampires had a lot more depth than they do now. Jean-Claude was something of an enigma (despite his Lestat-tendencies) and interesting to figure out at the time. Asher blew into town all mad, bad and dangerous to know, and I gotta give credit where it's due: Bettina and Pallas, the rotting vampires, were really unique and pretty cool.


The newer London crew of vampires are all pretty much stock characters. There's the Cheeky Brit who likes men (Byron), the Tortured Poet (Requiem), the Gangster of Gaudiness (Augustine), ad infinitum.

I attribute this to the speed at which she's churning out books. She sets these ridiculous "I must do xxx pages per day" limits on herself, and doesn't bother with fleshing out the newer characters. We get snippets that are revealed whenever one of them is complimenting Anita for something. Her writing process now is pretty much choosing pretty hair and eye colors, and hitting the Goth Name Generator.

[ex-naomi-ja.livejournal.com]

You're completely right - LKH long ago sucked all the life (unlife?) from her vampires. But then that seems to be the case in a lot (not all) vampire fiction at the moment. Instead of being monsters who feed on human blood, they're simply fops with fangs, looking for the woman who can give them the perfect orgasm and vice versa.

Give me Vampire Hunter D every time. Hell, even Count Duckula could take down Jean-Claude nowadays.

Actually, I *am* amused, but this is the VHD icon I have uploaded...

[lucidscreamer.livejournal.com]

Give me Vampire Hunter D every time. Hell, even Count Duckula could take down Jean-Claude nowadays.

So true. (And, man, I'd actually buy another of LKH's books if it featured Count Duckula taking down JC. ;))

[vlredreign.livejournal.com]

YEs. I really liked the Sookie Stackhouse books by Charlaine Harris, but I'm just...I think she needs to step back a bit and evaluate. I loved Sookie with Eric, and she seems to have gone away from that. Perhaps so as not to be seen as copying the Anita/JC dynamic?

[hellozombies.livejournal.com]

If the vamps scare me, awesome. If the vamps are hot and sexy and scare me, even awesome-er. If the vamps are disgusting and gross and scare me, sweet.

Oh my God. You've just summed up my feelings on vampires entirely! Thank you!

And yeah. I agree. When your main "human" character is more powerful than all the vampires combined...you've got yourself a Bad Novel. Either she needs to kill off all the vampires and bring up new ones (be honest: you wouldn't care...except maybe for Asher...somebody should save Asher), or she needs to re-establish her power base.

You know, I've said this over and over and it still holds true: We do not write these novels, yet we can tell what needs to be done, what shouldn't be done, and what NEVER () should have been touched. How is it that she can't see this? It's her world!

[moonsinger.livejournal.com]

To start with her vampires seemed to be full of character although definitely derivative from Dracula, Rice, and White Wolf. The thing that made her universe cool was what she had her vamps doing. JC was the smooth vamp who could get out of any situation, and he never told AB everything. Once they slept together though, that was it. Now he's kow-towing to AB so that he can get his nookie. Asher is now JC's boy toy that he doesn't get to play with. And the only bad vamp is Belle Morte, and she tortures people with sex. Ooh, how scary! Actually she seems to be just like her Merry's aunt the unseelie queen now that I think of it.

[reticentric.livejournal.com]

I remember the vampire in one of her books that literally made me feel uneasy as I sat reading it. The one where Anita woke up in the coffin with her, and she had her heart beating to make her think it was her mom. That seriously gave me a case of the wiggins because I've never read something so simple yet creepy ya know? Now everyone is so bogged down by sex no one has time to be creepy or even sexy.

I love vampires and I thought Jean-Claude was pretty sexy when I first started the books. Since there was no sex he was even more so because he had to rely on word play and looks to get his point across ya know? And I've always loved Asher just because he was tortured and grr and I don't know lol that was hot. Now LKH doesn't spend any time growing her characters--unless it's time for the sex! I think it's possible to take characters that people think they know and do a complete 180 to bring back some mystery but she doesn't care about any of that.

Considering her vamps have been alive for hundreds of years, I'm sure there is ALOT we don't know about them. Alot of tricks they could have up their sleeves but since they spend all their time banging Anita we don't get to discover anything other than they love the cooter of despair. And if she wants smut in her books then fine but at least make it hot and steamy...not so damn monotone.

And it's not just the vamps; she has like a billion new characters and all we know about them is their appearance. What's up with that? If her books were a tv show people would be all wtf.

[digitalusrex.livejournal.com]

LMAO @ "cooter of despair"

[vlredreign.livejournal.com]

That was Seraphina, from Bloody Bones. (I think that was her name). I mentioned her in my comment, I liked her, cause she was scary as hell. She was all in Anita's mind, and being Mommy, and oh!! Shivers!! And when Anita was flipping out as they burned Seraphina in her coffin, that was excellent. Actually Bloody Bones was one of LKH's better written books, IMO

[quizzicalsphinx.livejournal.com]

Sideline suggestion: something tells me that you would really enjoy The Vampire Tapestry by Suzy McKee Charnas. The vampire in that one is one of the more unique stylings I've seen, and he is, indeed, clever, charming (in a roundabout way), and completely brutal. Most of the book revolves around the reactions of the various mortals he encounters. It is an intelligent, often hilarious, and satisfying read.

[gothgoddessrhia.livejournal.com]

For a long time I kept waiting for Anita to find out JC was just playing her and for him to have a moment where he would bitchslap her down to size.

I have now given that up and realize he's just a fop with delusions of grandeur. He's not evena big bad. She is. And I can't figure out anymore how he became the master of the city. He's an idiot.

Sad, sad, sad.

Give me Carmilla, Dracula or Lord Ruthven anyday..err..night.

[saucyirishlass.livejournal.com]

And I can't figure out anymore how he became the master of the city. He's an idiot.

The thing is, at the beginning of the series, he knew he wasn't powerful enough to make Master of the City on his own, so he used his schemxy, Machiavellian methods to manipulate Anita into taking out the competition for him. Then he started using her to collect more power and secure his position.

....Then it all went horribly wrong and Mr. Schmexy Machiavellian Vampire went *poof* and turned into a fucking doormat.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

omfg, I've been weeping the loss of vampire fangs since the Corruptors got virtually written out of the series. I am horribly in love with those guys -- they were unapologetic evil bastards that could rot, man. *draws cartoon hearts of decay*

Course, then the Council sorta turned up in Burnt Offerings and everything was so. very. stupid. beyond. words. I say that because I always imagined internal vampire politics to be hardcore, like real cloak & dagger stuff with the clandestine meetings and everything. Only these guys show up to clean Anita's clock, she sexes them over and then they leave...ne'er to return except in astral projection form.

Because leaving a potential enemy as powerful as Anita is alleged to be is smart. *facepalm* I've been championing the idea that they'd return, that they'd use the human laws against Anita to really bring her down from her high horse (and why not? she's totally broken the laws she defends with her killing sprees), hang her out to try in the court of public opinion and then reduce St Louis to a smouldering crater.

But that'd take some kind of smarts, and those take way more effort to conjure than say, personality, or even a decent name. Oh, were I to ghost write the series...*wistful sigh* I'm crazy enough to see a way to actually salvage things and bring back the pwnage, but I know it'll never happen. I know it won't, so I'll just save those ideas for my own fiction.

[ayako.livejournal.com]

Random info dump but all vampires hop in chinese mythology/culture. This idea isn't unique to the Mr. Vampire series.

[easol.livejournal.com]

I know. :) But it started a movie trend in the 80s.

[miladygrey.livejournal.com]

I'm currently reading Tanya Huff's "Blood Ties" series (and waiting impatiently for the TV series to be in reruns), and it amuses me that Henry Fitzroy, despite being short, physically in his early twenties, and writing romance novels for a living, could most likely whup Jean-Claude and most of the Circus without much effort. And Vicky and Mike could tag-team the rest. Henry manages to fulfill several vampiric stereotypes and still be a memorable, original, based-on-an-actual-person character.

[mariakatarina.livejournal.com]

and writing romance novels for a living Or like in the tv series, writing graphic novels. I wish he kept the romance novel bit in the tv series. That was amusing.

Henry is so much love. And the boy who plays him in the series is yum.

[darkese.livejournal.com]

I'm always surprised when I read that the vampires don't scare anyone anymore because, well, I never found them scary. I don't find the zombies scary, the lycans or the vamps. They used to be interesting - but scary? I feel like I've missed something.

I'm not sure what type of vampire would be scary to me at this point but he won't be from France and wear frills.

Books don't scare me often at all. The last one that scared me was Song of Kali by Dan Simmons. Now that was scary as hell.

[naeko.livejournal.com]

*writes Song of Kali by Dan Simmons on her (very long) 'books I will buy when I actually have money- oh, and remember to keep this list on me when I go to the bookstor' list*

[dinsedaledarby.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with you. LKH's vampires are boring and they are not scary. Mostly they are just pathetic. All JC does is screw anita and Asher just whines. I don't even remember who the other vampires are. They are indistinguishable from each other. I think LKH has a problem of trying to put too many characters into her books. If she weeded some ensigns out maybe she could focus more on having a strong group of main characters that the reader could actually like. At this point in the series, I could care less if every single character died or not. It saddens me that such an interesting series ended up like that.
I am really tired of the effeminate french vampire caricature that has been used again and again. these vampires are not interesting anymore, they are boring and they grate on my nerves.
I don't think we should feel sorry for vampires they way authors like LKH and Anne Rice think we should. I miss being afraid. I think making vampires funny and/or immperfect, the complete opposite of what we expect would be more refreshing.
A vampire can be mysterious and good-looking without being annoying and schmaltzy.

[easol.livejournal.com]

I'd also like it if she'd find some new names -- every vampire she has now has some sort of ridiculous moniker like "Requiem" (... "for a lost plot"), "London" (what, "Moscow" was taken?), "Wicked" (surname: "Cool"), or "Truth" (and his cousin "Dare").

[electrichobo.livejournal.com]

I though Willie was pretty snazzy at first...

[silent-sybil.livejournal.com]

God, I miss Willie! Aside from the occasional cameos, I mean. And Dead Dave, too-- I guess once she'd gotten herself past the "barrier" into her vampire mythology, she didn't need Dave's as a gateway anymore. So many cool ideas just got dropped from this series.

You know, with a lot of series, the hardcore fans will read all the prior books before they even start on the new ones. This really would not be a bad idea for LKH herself, in my opinion. O_o