lkh_lashouts | Blood Noir Chapters Two - Four: Sex Ed. From Hell

Sorry about the long wait between chapters. My internet has decided to torment me, playing little games which make me wish I wasn’t so dependant upon this particular modern torture At any rate, on with the snarking.

So we begin with chapter two, which starts LKH’s particular specialty: endless sex. Anita mostly lies placid within Nathaniel’s arms, or writhes and screams. Either way, she doesn’t seem to be contributing much to the sex, making it seem as if Nathaniel and Jason are masturbating with a giant blown-up doll.

One thing that bothers me about this three chapter sex scene, is that chapters are incredibly short. Chapter three is only two pages, the other two are not much longer. While I have no problem with the writer alternating the length of chapters to help with the flow of the story, I do it myself, I really don’t see the point with this particular scene. It’s all one scene, yet LKH has broken it up into three small chapters. Why? The only reason I can come up with is that LKH wanted the grand glory of having a sex scene last three chapters. But since her sex scene are really just copy and pasted from book to book, with few alterations made, it must have been more then a stretch (literally) to make this happen. So she splits it up, which only adds to the mess. The sex scene alone bogs down the story, everything completely stops just to allow LKH to write more bad erotica. Breaking it into tiny chapters only halts the action even more, what little action is occurring at any rate.

I’ve seen users and others comment about the disturbing change in Nathaniel. The Sub Who Can’t Say No suddenly morphs into the Dom With A Growling Bass. I’m not familiar with how BDSM works, and I’m not sure if it is possible for such an extreme submissive like Nathaniel to turn into a super-Dom...however I know that for LKH, whether this works in BDSM or not doesn’t matter to her. Really, it’s a dues ex machina moment for her.

The last book ended with Nathaniel complaining that Anita doesn’t satisfy his BDSM needs, and wanted her to dominate him and tie him up. Anita wasn’t comfortable with this, proof again that LKH really isn’t the dark queen of BDSM like she wants us to think. Nathaniel gave Anita a choice, either she meets his needs as his lover, or he’s going to look elsewhere. And God/Diety knows that any man that has tasted the DoomCrotch is forever forbidden to have any other woman. In order to deal with this, LKH suddenly switches Nathaniel sexual preference, turns him into a Dom, and now Anita doesn’t have to deal with the discomfort of trying to top him. Whether this can actually happen in BDSM is not the issue, this little maneuver was only done to ensure that Anita doesn’t have to do something that was proving to be a big issue, and Nathaniel doesn’t leave the harem of the DoomCrotch. It’s a ploy that could’ve worked, if all the readers were idiots.

LKH begins with Jason giving Anita oral, while Nathaniel holds her...tightly. She repeats the word ‘tight’, in case readers didn’t get it the first million times. Anita screams and writhes again and again. She screams at the ‘lightest touch’, while Jason’s eyes cause her to ‘tighten down below.’ I don’t understand this. Prolonged intense stimulus of any sort, both pain and pleasure, eventually causes someone to become numb. The intensity loses it’s potency, and in order to achieve the same results, one would have to ‘up the voltage’ so to speak. Considering that Anita is getting pounded 24/7 by multiple enormous ‘members’, she shouldn’t be able to walk, much less be able to feel anything down below. At this point, only the gentle ministrations of a jackhammer would be able to ‘tighten’ her.

After a bone-cracking orgasm, Jason and Anita move to the couch. Anita is flat on her back...again, while Jason ‘shoves’ and ‘pounds’ her. Now there was a whole little spiel about how the missionary position on the bed ‘kills the soul’. Anita’s sex shenanigans mostly revolve around the missionary position on the bed. Again we find them in the missionary position, but I’m guessing that for LKH, the couch adds that extra bit of spice that keeps such a boring vanilla position from killing the soul. Nathaniel holds Anita’s hands, which is actually a smart move since Anita tries to kill any man that screws her by ‘clawing’ them to death.

Next, it’s Nathaniel’s turn. I know, I know...this was supposed to help Jason...but the power of the DoomCrotch is that one doesn’t even have to be involved in actual intercourse in order to receive it’s bounty. LKH gives us about a page explaining the handcuffs on the bed, and how uber-awesome and dark that is. I’m betting that the handcuffs have that neat little ‘TRIPP’ label that all Hot Topic items have on them.

LKH then gives us the darkity goff passage of the scene. She explains her views on BDSM, and how uber goffick and dark it is. And how uber dark and goffick Nathaniel’s lilac eyes had gone:

There was something...dangerous in that look. It was one of the highs of BDSM, that possibility of disaster and pain.

...part of the game was that you looked into your lover’s eyes and let him see, that you saw the darkness in them. That you saw the potential for...evil...

This little bit is...just...words fail me at the moment. Looking into your lover’s eyes in an intimate moment, and seeing the potential murderer/rapist/pedophile inside. Yes, I’d love to be getting cozy with my intimate other, contemplating the potential for fucking killing children in the darkness in their eyes. I know LKH really didn’t mean this, she’s just trying to be darkity dark. But writing about the potential for ‘evil’ is opening the door for a whole level of wrong can be interpreted in a completely different direction then just plain ‘goffick darkity darkness.'

She ties the whole thing to BDSM. While I am far from an expert on BDSM, I don’t think that it’s all about people being monsters and letting out this inner evil. Someone can argue that BDSM is perverse, but at the end of the day it boils down to a sexual preference: a kink if you will. Different strokes for different folks and all that jazz. I don’t think that BDSM is about people being evil, or this inner evil and darkness that LKH seems to have in spades. People who are into that lifestyle are just like everyone else, they aren’t more evil or dark then others. To be honest, this little passage seems a bit insulting, however I’m certain LKH is not trying to give BDSM a bad name. She’s just trying to be dark and goffick...

In reality, I’ve seen darker shit off of My Little Ponies.