Facebook flog - Oct 15 2013

[blogfloggery.livejournal.com]

Link: Oct 15 2013, 5:42
Disclaimer: This blog entry is verbatim, as originally posted on LKH's Facebook. Copyright belongs to Ma Petite Enterprises.

I wished our girlfriend, yes Jon and I are date-dating her, a happy Goth Chick Appreciation Day, yesterday. I thought I'd mentioned we had a girlfriend on FB, from the responses, apparently not. I've mentioned it on twitter, and as other comments noted on my RIDDIT interview this year. If it had been Goth Boy Appreciation Day I'd have wished my husband, and over lovers, current, and past good tidings of their holiday, but it was Goth Chick Appreciation Day, so . . .

No, I'm not bisexual, if I was she wouldn't be the first girlfriend I'd ever had. Jon and I like the term Heteroflexible.

No, I've never tried to date as many people as Anita dates. 5 was my max and it was too many to give emotional support and care, or time, to everyone.

Before someone asks, NO, none of the people I've dated past, or present have been used as basis for my fictional characters - note the word fictional.

Polyamorous means to love more, and yes it is a weird mix of Greek and Latin, but it has become widely accepted, so that's the term. Poly has only one real rule, everyone is supposed to know what everyone is doing, or who they're doing. No lying, no cheating, but just communication of epic proportions. If you're prone to jealousy, please do not attempt poly. If you want to sleep with other people, do not bully your spouse into being poly with you, if you aren't so much poly as just wanting to fuck-about. Please keep your cheating asses off our polyamory, and don't blame the fact you can't keep it in your pants on us. And no, we are not swingers, that's a different alternative lifestyle. What's swinging? Google it. You can google Polyamory, too, but don't believe everything you read. (That goes for anything you research on line.)

Comments

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

I wake up at 4:15 AM because I'm hungry and find this goldmine.

Sure her characters aren't based on anyone real. Just whatever Anita is doing. You cannot expect me to believe that Anita becomes 'heteroflexible' and gets her first girlfriend and then LKH does (or vice versa) and it's just coincidence, considering all the other oh-no-she's-not-me-really similarities going on.

IF YOU'RE PRONE TO JEALOUSY, LOLOLOLOLOL

ETA: also, I don't think she really cared about wishing the girlfriend anything, I think she was just waiting for an excuse to post about her in a way to draw attention to the fact she has a girlfriend, then devolve into a I-am-a-poly-expert rant that has nothing to do with the actual said girlfriend that this 'appreciation' post is actually for.

I do bet you that she loves the Foamy take on Goth Chick Appreciation Day though, what with calling any other type of girl a "soulless husk of makeup" and the like (and takes it seriously)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFmaWzZoaR4

[ex-naomi-ja.livejournal.com]

I'm really very much a live and let live type of person and firmly believe that if nobody's getting hurt, how other people conduct themselves is awesome/none of my business. Which is probably why it grates on me so much that LKH can't just leave it be with "I'm poly, yay!" She has to be "I'm poly, poly is best, non-poly people suck and can't live right because they're non-poly. Boo!"

FUCK OFF, LAURELL.

[collectively.livejournal.com]

I am polyamorous and I still found that unbelievably condescending.

[dreamstrifer.livejournal.com]

You can google Polyamory, too, but don't believe everything you read. (That goes for anything you research on line.)

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD I'M LAUGHING RIGHT NOW THE IRONY IN THIS STATEMENT.

[snarky-imp.livejournal.com]

Before someone asks, NO, none of the people I've dated past, or present have been used as basis for my fictional characters - note the word fictional.

Micah, Richard, and Jade all beg to differ. Well, maybe not Richard as a basis as I'm not sure on any timeline there, but considering the way his fictional life went all to hell about the time the "dear reader, my ex is an ass" letters appeared in the books... I'm just saying he suffers fictionally for the sins of the non fictional. Ditto a whole host of other characters who may or may not be based on real people.

[desert-vixen.livejournal.com]

Poly has only one real rule, everyone is supposed to know what everyone is doing, or who they're doing. No lying, no cheating, but just communication of epic proportions. If you're prone to jealousy, please do not attempt poly. If you want to sleep with other people, do not bully your spouse into being poly with you, if you aren't so much poly as just wanting to fuck-about.

"Communication of epic proportions" does not mean everyone pitches in to make one person feel like the special-est ever. It means everyone talks so that everyone can be comfortable (which I'm sure she thinks her characters do...)

Still rolling about everything else - does she even read her own work? Or is it just that different in her head?

[jessica collett (from livejournal.com)]

'No, I'm not bisexual, if I was she wouldn't be the first girlfriend I'd ever had'

Not going to argue sexual identities here (because.... everyone has a right to sexually identify in whatever way they want) but that sentence just grates. You can identify as bisexual and not have dated a woman before. It's not as if people go 'I am now bisexual!' and immediately latch themselves onto a suitable member of the same gender. You might not know you could be attracted to people of your gender until you meet someone that sparks the realisation in you. It comes off as extremely defensive and dismissive of bisexuality, which is just wonderful. Really inclusive. Not judgemental at all.

'Jon and I like the term Heteroflexible.'

I don't like the word hetroflexible. It seems to be a way of saying you like being with girls (in this instance) without catching the cooties that come from openly and honestly being attracted to women.

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

"Date-dating"? Does that mean "fuck-fucking"?

So LKH is fuck-fucking a woman, but she has to make sure no one thinks she's like one of those icky bisexual people, no, she's still het. But she's also better than other heterosexuals, because she's more "flexible" than we are.

"Don't believe everything you read" is just... yeah. And I love how she's lecturing everyone as if we've never heard the term "polyamorous" or would be shocked by it, and tells us all to Google things and etc., like we are all sitting here waiting to be enlightened by her. LKH: do yourself a favor and Google Scarleteen, and read EVERYTHING there.

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

I thought I'd mentioned we had a girlfriend on FB, from the responses, apparently not. I've mentioned it on twitter, and as other comments noted on my RIDDIT interview this year.
REDDIT. It's REDDIT.

No, I'm not bisexual, if I was she wouldn't be the first girlfriend I'd ever had. Jon and I like the term Heteroflexible. [...] Before someone asks, NO, none of the people I've dated past, or present have been used as basis for my fictional characters - note the word fictional.
...*taps fingers on computer* Really. That's why Anita acquired a girlfriend and declared herself ~heteroflexible~ at around the same time?

And yay, ~heteroflexible~. Also known as 'This doesn't make me gay! This doesn't make me gay bi! I'm a good straight girl! Totally! J-just ~flexible~!' -_-;; Suuure, LKH. Sure.

Poly has only one real rule, everyone is supposed to know what everyone is doing, or who they're doing. No lying, no cheating, but just communication of epic proportions.
Which is why Micah was fucking his way through the Furry Coalition?

If you're prone to jealousy, please do not attempt poly. If you want to sleep with other people, do not bully your spouse into being poly with you, if you aren't so much poly as just wanting to fuck-about.
In other words, Anita isn't poly and shouldn't get anywhere near it. Good to have confirmation from the author herself!

[luscious-words.livejournal.com]

The condescending tone of her post rankles. From her use of the term "heteroflexible" as if it sets her above all other heterosexual people to her putting down the term "bisexual" as if it's some repulsive term to her definition and description of a polyamorous relationship. Are you fucking kidding me with this shit?!? I don't have to have dated a woman to know that I am bisexual. I may not be polyamorous but I am poly-friendly in that I hang with a lot of poly folks (and damn proud of it too).

On a more humorous note, I snorted at this comment - Before someone asks, NO, none of the people I've dated past, or present have been used as basis for my fictional characters - note the word fictional. Seriously, LKH, just who do you think you're kidding with that? Really?!? *rolls eyes*

[rebootfromstart.livejournal.com]

...wow. Poly bisexual person here who thinks that sounds really fucking condescending. And I hate the term heteroflexible. Like others have said, it smacks of "BUT THIS DOESN'T MAKE ME GAY SO IT'S OKAY".

Also, fuck's sake, polyamorous doesn't mean "to love more". It means multiple loves. This is playing into the tripe I used to hear from my girlfriend's ex about how poly people are "more evolved" and all around better people because they love more. It doesn't work like that. My girlfriend's boyfriend's wife is no worse a person than the boyfriend is because he's poly and she's not.

[jeza-red.livejournal.com]

Oh Jyeysus *rubs temples* This is an adult woman. I am supposed to believe that this is am adult person talking about something they know inside out.... I feel like I'm back on tumblr>_> Typos and grammarfails included - at least on tumblr people I follow misspell on purpose.

It makes me sad that the post is all ME ME ME ME MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME ... oh, and I have a girlfriend, ciao.

I would e sad if I was that girlfriend - it just seems that Laurita is trying to prove something soooooo haaaard (mainly that she's edgy and out of this world) to her fans that the real people just get lost in the whole kerfuffle. It does take a lot of courage to come out of any kind of closet, but in some bizarre way LKH just.. cheapens the whole experience? The "Oh, and by the way, I am dating girl. Yes, I am. See me dating girls and boys???? ...but no homo."

And does 'heteroflexible' - it still means het, am I wrong? Heterosexual people date-date opposite sex exclusively so no mater how flexible she is... it's like saying 'I'm asexual - except Fridays and Wednesdays, then I fuck'=___= Lexically it's a mess of a notion.

[mocha-latta.livejournal.com]

I'm going to come in on the defence of heteroflexable identity. I identify as pansexual myself, but I have a few friends who define themselves as heteroflexable. As I understand it, they are primary het., but are open to very occasional sexual experiences with people of the same sex, sort of 'it's okay if it's you' type of deal. They don't identify as bi or as pan because they feel like it's a very rare occurrence, and they don't think that they're interested in a queer relationship.
I can certainly see the problematic issues regarding the name, if the attitude is indeed 'no homo', but I think identity is private, ultimiatly.

[subtle-shades.livejournal.com]

If you want to sleep with other people, do not bully your spouse into being poly with you, if you aren't so much poly as just wanting to fuck-about.

I totally misunderstood the message because of the way that the sentences were constructed. For example, the one above is REDUNDANT and composed of two IF-THEN statements, one straight up and the other reversed.

IF you want to sleep with other people ----> THEN don't bully your spouse into being poly with you.

THEN don't bully your spouse into being poly with you <----- IF you aren't so much poly as just wanting to sleep around.

The sentiments are more or less the same, of course, (that one shouldn't bully's one's spouse into trying polyamory if all one wants is to be unfaithful) but there's the implication to me that it might be okay to (at least try to) bully your spouse into being poly if you're poly. But, judging by the previous comments, she meant to say no infidelity and no bullying, regardless of the circumstances.

....this is why I read her books via sporks. Even when I read them first hand, I often had trouble figuring out what was going on, much less why it was going on.

[mocha-latta.livejournal.com]

I've been reconsidering this post. Anyone else extra creeped out by Shutdown now that we know that she's recently gotten into a relationship?

[cheeky-duckie.livejournal.com]

I admit that I sort of have a knee-jerk, "Woo!" at her no-cheating/A++ communication section -- but that's personal bias. My ex had an affair for six+ months and then did the, "But I love you both so much! I really just think I'm poly," thing after confessing. His hope was that apparently I would come around on the poly thing (we would talk about it every so often) and then he could just fold her into our marriage. -_-; So, I admit to having a messed up relationship with discussion of polyamory. Because I'm cool with everyone doing what makes them happy, but the discussions always takes me right back there.

That said, I laughed outloud at, "You can google Polyamory, too, but don't believe everything you read." Oh LKH, I don't think you have any sense of irony at all.

[bloodredroses1.livejournal.com]

As much as it pains me to say this I might understand where she's coming from. Many, many years ago I was in a triad w/ my boyfriend & his wife where we basically shared him. Any contact between she and I was pretty accidental because 1) she didn't come within several lightyears of getting my motor running even in the heat of passion and 2) while I could admit to myself that there were females who made me hot & bothered I would never have admitted it publicly nor would I have dared to act on it. Of course this was back in the 80s when bisexuality was even more stigmatized than it is today.

So maybe w/ LKH it's a combo of her trying to be all darkity dark & the edgiest of them all as well as coming to terms w/ being attracted to both women and men. Doing the latter when you're in your forties & have sworn on a stack of bibles your whole life that you're straight is not an easy thing to do. But to be honest I think in her case it's more schtick than substance but I have to give her at least the tiniest benefit of the doubt in case it isn't.