Facebook flog - Oct 18 2013

[blogfloggery.livejournal.com]

Link: Oct 18 2013, 14:15
Disclaimer: This blog entry is verbatim, as originally posted on LKH's Facebook. Copyright belongs to Ma Petite Enterprises.

First, thank you so much for all the positive feedback. It was wonderful to hear from so many other poly people - we are not alone! :-) But also loved hearing from so many people who weren't poly, but were still supportive of our choice to have a lifestyle that wasn't theirs. It was refreshing and awesome to see so much good stuff in the comments.

Thank you, also, to all the women who offered to date me, and to the women who wrote things that made my on-line security person delete your posts . . . I'm flattered, but the reason I say, I'm heteroflexible, and not bisexual is that other than Genevieve, our girlfriend, I still don't seem that interested in women. She maybe my one exception. We've been dating her for several years, so sorry, ladies, but I seem to be a one woman, sorta girl.

And for some of the other comments, it's not just the three of us in a closed poly threesome. There are other people in our lives. (Closed poly means however many people are in your poly group 3 to 50, that you can't bring new people in without the group permission, and they usually get veto on lovers, or play partners) I found it very interesting that once I used the word "girlfriend" almost everyone assumed that there were no other men, besides Jon. Particularly interesting since I mentioned Goth boys in the first paragraph.

Also, thanks for asking, but we won't be posting pictures of Genevieve anytime soon. She's a very private person, and I respect that privacy. I got her permission before posting the Goth girl post.

Thank you again for all the positive energy. You guys rock!

Comments

[deadsong.livejournal.com]

Short version:

"Thank you for validating my defensive ploy for attention! See, I AM as desirable as Merita! I have a harem, too!"

I'm just waiting for the post complaining that someone propositioned her inappropriately at a con or a signing, trying to become one of her "play partners."

[bloodredroses1.livejournal.com]

Oh you know it's coming we just have to wait for it. Or else she's going to become even more paranoid now & no one will even get a chance to get close to her to try but she'll still crow about all the people who want to.

[deadsong.livejournal.com]

Or someone will try to have a legitimate adult discussion with her about her experiences, and she'll freak out and say someone assaulted her.

I don't want to say she'd have it coming for publicly broadcasting her lifestyle that way. I may find the way she chooses to broadcast it offensive--she alternates between defensive condescension and self-superior gloating, with clear attention ploys thrown in. But no one should have to be afraid to have open sex-positive conversations or discuss their lifestyle, whether it's mainstream or not, and condemning her for discussing it at all feels wrong, restrictive, and close-minded (to me). But when you do discuss it so openly and you are a rather public figure, you have to be prepared for the fact that in general people aren't all that informed about this kind of thing, and they're going to react in ways other than the way you specifically want. I don't think she's prepared for those reactions without the buffering shield of the internet and her..."on-line security person." (Oh god, biting my tongue on that one.) And while it's not her responsibility to teach other people appropriate behavior when openly discussing lifestyle choices (kind of the way it's not a cosplayer's responsibility to teach people not to get grabby no matter what's hanging out of their costume), the childish way she flaunts for attention and then gets offended when she gets attention doesn't make sense to me.

Bleh. I think I'm getting kind of muddled in my point, because I don't want to fall into the trap of saying "anyone who talks about their sex life this openly deserves whatever harassment is coming to them." That's veering close to victim-blaming and censorship and a lot of other ugly stuff that I feel isn't right, as I don't think poly people or any people should have to feel like their life is some kind of forbidden kink they're not allowed to talk about in so-called polite company, and I do think that if we were more mature about discussing sex as something other than a dirty taboo and more sex-positive as a society in general we'd fix a lot of the hate problems we exhibit toward women, LGBTQ people, etc. But she has to be aware of the fact that we aren't in general, and there are a lot of people outside her bubble who don't think the way she does, and she should at least be braced for whatever's coming instead of seeming so shocked and horrified the way she always does. Situational awareness isn't that hard. If she had a track record of proudly standing up despite the awareness that other people won't understand, I'd almost get it, and might even applaud her. But instead she has a track record of flaunting with a dose of misinformation, and then freaking out if anyone dares to mention the things she's flaunting, and then making attention-getting drama about it.

...and I'm putting a lot of thought into a hypothetical situation that hasn't even happened, though this is also based on situations that have happened in the past. But I'm going to shut up, as this ventures on criticizing her for something she hasn't even done; just that I'm afraid she will.

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

The fact that it all just happens to be women whom she has to supposedly ward off makes me incredibly suspicious about the general truth level of her post here. I had a sex blog and was pretty active in the sex blogging community, and the number of times the women I knew talked about being inappropriately hit on by other women is... one. (And the woman who did the hitting on was a piece of work, to put it mildly.) Every woman had at least a couple stories of being ickily hit on by men though, no matter the woman's sexuality. So LKH has been yuckily propositioned by only women here? No men? Why, what a coincidence that this happens to line up perfectly with LKH's bs about women being such huge sexual predators!

[deadsong.livejournal.com]

I've had a lot of experiences with women hitting on me inappropriately, but then I have a freakish talent for attracting some of the more...unstable...individuals who latch on to the idea of a gay man as this "safe" ideal man and get fixated enough to start to ignore the "gay" part, and can get pretty brazen and pushy with highly inappropriate and unwelcome sexual advances. But this is generally something that happens over the long term, and I'm just naive and stupidly hopeful enough to ignore the warning signs in the friendship and hope it doesn't happen again. It's not something that happens instantly with random strangers, but it still makes it a little easier for me to believe that women are capable of that level of inappropriate attention. I'm not sure if gender makes a difference there, though, as I've only known one woman who was sexually aggressive to the point of being inappropriate to other women, and she was my best friend in college. o.O;; Made our weekends a little interesting...

However--in LKH's case, I wouldn't be surprised if the women she's supposedly having to ward off are actually women seeking to have a conversation with her about their own experiences or curiosities, hoping to find support and friendly acceptance from a like-minded individual. It's entirely possible that she's operating on the same principle Anita operates on: to her talking to her about the topic is a blatant implication that the other woman wants to sleep with her, while the person in question is probably just looking for solidarity and relieved to be able to talk to someone about a topic other people reject--and they're probably entirely dismayed by her misinterpretation of their intentions.

Completely OT, but I keep meaning to say this to you every time I end up in a discussion with you on this comm or just see you in passing: icon love. So much adoration for Fang. For me she's half the replay value in FFXIII.

(Shutting up now. Why are my comments always so long? Oh right, because I overexplain...)

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

Women are definitely capable of inappropriate sexual attention. The thing that stands out to me is that LKH is saying it is ALL women -- NO men. This is so vanishingly unlikely for a woman to face in this kind of situation, and it plays so neatly into LKH's rampaging misogyny, that I think she is lying.

In "Shutdown", LKH has Anita tell us there is no reason to get to know anyone unless she wants to date them. So I think you are correct; other women probably tried to talk to LKH about this, or about anything at all, and her immediate assumption was that they wanted to have sex with her. Because she sees no point in getting to know someone if sex is not the goal.

Fang does rock :D.

[deadsong.livejournal.com]

Considering her campaign to show us she's a desirable as Merita, I'm amazed she doesn't talk about more men hitting on her. But I guess women hitting on her (even if yeah, I agree with your reasons as to why she's probably lying/dramatizing) is what makes her edgy now. Plus we need that reminder that she/her avatar is just another man with breasts, so of course women are flocking to her manliness and swooning over her.

Waitwaitwait. I haven't read this abomination of a story...LKH has Anita tell us what? I...I don't even. I can't with this shit today. I give up on trying to figure out how she thinks, as if I keep trying my brain will melt out my ears.

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

Here's the quote: "We'd learned a lot about each other, but unless we were looking to date, I didn't see the point."

[deadsong.livejournal.com]

I keep reading that and hoping every time I do, it will somehow magically make sane, logical sense from the standpoint of adult reasoning, in which people can comprehend having a deeply personal platonic relationship with a friend where dating and sex aren't even on the table, and that's okay.

It's not working.

~reads it again~

Yeah. Nope. Not working.

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

It's even worse than that. She's only talked with this woman over one meal. So she doesn't see the point of even being friendly with someone unless pursuing sex with them.

[deadsong.livejournal.com]

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. I will not get all rantyface. I will not get all rantyfa--

Okay, no. NO. Just no. I refuse this. What kind of deluded wankery is--I don't even--

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SPEND SO LONG GAZING INTO YOUR AVATAR'S NAVEL THAT YOUR WORK BECOMES NARCISSISTIC PARODY FANFICTION OF ITSELF WITH NOT EVEN AN ATTEMPT TO PORTRAY HOW REAL PEOPLE THINK OR ACT.

Deep, deep breaths...

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

The story does read like a parody by someone who hates LKH with the fire of ten thousand suns.

[genchaos.livejournal.com]

Good god. She's so manly-man she can whine about friendzoning the way creepy Nice Guys(tm) do about women?!

[subtle-shades.livejournal.com]

...it's not just Nice Guys who do that... Nice Girls are a thing too.

[genchaos.livejournal.com]

Dammit. One of those times I hoped something was gender-restricted.

[subtle-shades.livejournal.com]

LOL Sorry?