LKH's thoughts on dogs

[tybalt-quin.livejournal.com]

I feel a little bad for sporking the latest entry from LKH's Blog because I think she's actually writing from the heart (and not the fanny) for once, but the last paragraph is just begging for it. LKH in bold, me in normal understated text:



Remember, for many people in America today that dog is going to be with you when your spouse is not, your kids will grow up and go off to college, but the dog won't.

Any dog that's around to see the kids grow up and go off to college is going to be pretty ancient. It's reasonable to expect that Rover won't be around to see the kids graduate college unless you've got him on a respirator and doggy Zimmer frame.

Pick your dog with that in mind, that this is your companion for life. If not your life, you are his, or hers, for her life.

What the fricking hell does that second sentence mean? Please - someone translate the batshit for me. Unless you're planning on checking out early, no dog is ever going to be a companion for the duration of your life unless you cryogenically store it in the hope that future vetinary medicine reaches a state where dogs can be both brought back from death and rejuvenated. The most you can be is a companion for the dog's life.

They say you can't buy love, but anyone who says that has never looked into the eyes of a dog, or felt that tail wag as you talk to them about your day.

I'm now picturing Laurell chatting to her poor hound about the progress of the books:

LKH: "And then I wrote another scene where I described Jean-Claude's penis and then I wrote a three-way between him and Richard and then I wrote an orgy and then I forgot what I'd put in a previous book about Anita's powers but that's okay because I fixed it by having Anita do it doggy-style with Edward!"

Phouka: "Kill me. I mean it. Take me to the vets so I can be put out of my misery. I'd rather get rabies than listen to any more of this shit."

You can buy love, and it's warm, and furry, and it loves you when you are silly, and it never, ever, sees you as a failure.

I think that this is actually a metaphor for Anita's vagina. Like a dog, Anita's vagina will love you when you are silly and provided you can stick your dick in it, her vagina will never, ever, see you as a failure.

Comments

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

her logic as always doesn't work
Dogs don't live that freaking long, though mine is quite ancient and the second one was 14 when she died. Even cats live longer - (I have a 18 or 19 year old cat )
and you cannot buy an animals love or devotion, they either love you, tolerate you because you are the can opener or in some cases stay grumpy with you anmd just accept you as the can opener ...

[drho.livejournal.com]

I feel bad about her dogs. However, I disagree with her about buying a dog's love. You can make a dog like you with bribery, but a dog doesn't care about your bank account and will love you anyway.

LKH is really odd. Even if she means you can buy a dog (and thus love), it's odd that she thinks of it that way.

[estllechauvelin.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure that what she was trying to say in the second bit is along the lines of what you were getting at. Translation: The dog's your companion for life- maybe not for your life, but for the dog's life. Which would make more sense if she was clearer on the unlikelihood that a dog is going to outlive you unless you get the dog when you're pretty old... well, and if she made more sense in general.

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

oh yeah I have had a dog like that ... well actually up to two years ago my dogs tag teamed, one opened the door, the other the garbage bin, and both stole like mad ... until the big dog couldn't jump anymore due to her athrosis and had to be put down, due to not being able to walk at all anymore in January

[belledewinter.livejournal.com]

I think I agree on what she is trying to say (that dogs love you sincerely and for as long as they can, always loving and faithful, blah blah) but I don't think she is being as clear as she'd like.
As usual.

But no, you can't buy love, not even a dog's, because you have to earn that love. Some dogs just sit around and deal with humans as best as they can. I also don't like the sentence at the top about the dot leaving you. It's true, but the reason to have a dog is not because it won't abandon you. That's just... wrong?

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

But no, you can't buy love, not even a dog's, because you have to earn that love. Some dogs just sit around and deal with humans as best as they can. I also don't like the sentence at the top about the dot leaving you. It's true, but the reason to have a dog is not because it won't abandon you. That's just... wrong?

Hear hear!!

[easol.livejournal.com]

They even have little designated zones where you are NOT to trespass, sometimes. Or they'll hide under the couch, or your bed, or in a closet, and just lie there looking mopey and NOT wanting you to come in.

And people don't usually buy dogs looking for a fricking COMMITMENT. They usually buy them for friendship, companionship, safety for some. They don't buy them so that someone will make big puppy eyes to keep you emotionally stable, while secretly thinking, "She doesn't know I ate the last of the kung pow beef." Life commitments are usually saved for marriage, business, et cetera -- not one-sided insecurities.

And no, dogs don't always love their owners -- my ex-neighbors had a poor dog that their kids were always treating like crap, and it barely tolerated the little brats.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

What the fricking hell does that second sentence mean? Please - someone translate the batshit for me

She means for the duration of the dog's life. It seems pretty clear to me, although the sentence is worded poorly.

[avierra.livejournal.com]

I feel sorry for her. If she's more than usually incoherent, perhaps it is the stress of it all. Watching a beloved pet die is as hard -- sometimes harder -- than watching a beloved person die. At least you can talk to the person. All you can do with a pet is watch.

So basically, I cut her some slack in this case.

[alorarose.livejournal.com]

We have four kitties. We paid no money for any of them. Also...my puppy? We bred him..so we paid no money there either. So you don't need money to have love.

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

+ a lot of people who bought extremely expensive dogs are only tolerated by their dogs, who usually do not like the frilly stuff, the jackets and that ...

[alorarose.livejournal.com]

haha, when two of our kitties were still kittens (they were littermates) my sister and I would sew clothing for them. It was the CUTEST THING EVER!!! Granted, we were young and these babies were OMG CUTE.

[slayra.livejournal.com]

I paid a lot of money for one of my three dogs, but I hope the dog loves me anyway (at least she doesn't have jackets and frilly stuff... ugh, that's horrible!). At least she's always wagging her tail and wants to be with us as much as she can. I am now insecure of my dog's love. NOES!

Kidding aside, LKH can word things badly indeed... and it makes us want to mock her. But at least she had good intentions... right? O__O

[alorarose.livejournal.com]

I can't really use my puppy as an example though, cause my aunt breeds them, haha. So she HAS paid lots of money for dogs. But they don't loathe her. On the contrary..she treats them better than her own children, haha.

awn, I miss my doggies now. ::sniffle::

[pith]

Modly: Please include a link to the blog entry.

Non-modly: Yeah, this feels like LKH a) capitalizing on her woe and b) preaching about stuff she only knows a bit about. When she does B, it can sound profound and pretty, but can actually end up being detrimental.

Anyone else remember the pic of Jon throwing one of the dogs in the air? Pretty much every dog person/owner who saw that got irate.

[tybalt-quin.livejournal.com]

Gah - bollocks, thought I'd included the link. Apologies - shall do so now.

[tartful-dodger.livejournal.com]

Of course she likes the idea of a lapdog just look at ________ (insert name of Jean Claude, Nathaniel, Micah, Jason, Asher etc etc etc in blank).

[alorarose.livejournal.com]

Dogs have owners.
Cats have staff.

[jerel.livejournal.com]

Cats are for those of us who have big enough egos where an occasional snubbing won't make us question our worth.

(Tiger, the cat in the icon, used to give me this look like "Oh, are you still here? You can leave me alone now, khtxbi.")

Yeah, I agree LKH is really trying here. She wants to make a point about people and their pets, but it just comes out garbled.

[easol.livejournal.com]

She tries so bloody hard to be deep that it's actually painful.

And I hate to think what would happen if she got a cat, if she's so vewy fragile that anything but continuous unconditional love means you think she's a failure and all that. Certainly explains a lot about her alter egos.

[slayra.livejournal.com]

So true. I had this mean siamese (?) cat who looked down on us all. Like the Queen. lol. ^____^

[alorarose.livejournal.com]

Awn, Siamese meows aren't mean! They are just highly opinionated, overly verbal, demanding creatures!

I grew up with Siamese.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Yikes, that sounds like me. Think I'd get along with one?

[alorarose.livejournal.com]

XD You would get along fine. As long as you don't mind having arguments with your cat, haha.

[insaint.livejournal.com]

This reminds me greatly of Far Side. :)

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

I dunno; a lot of people wait to get a kid a dog until "you can take care of it yourself" (ha!) which means the kid is 8-10. Having that dog live past the kid being 18 is not unreasonable.

I'm a cat person; what do I know?

[albinowolf.livejournal.com]

I got my first dog when I was 9 years old and he was 8 weeks. He lived a month past my 24th birthday. So yeah, my pup saw me grow up and go off to college.

Now my frog, on the other hand... I got a grow-a-frog kit [little claw toed water frog] that same summer as I got my dog. My parents lectured me that I had to take care of it as long as it was alive and warned me that "that could mean you'll take it to college too" but what 9 year old kid thinks a frog lasts that long? Yeah, I had to take the dang thing to college. In fact, I'll be 32 next month and that frog is STILL kickin' around. She's swimming in a 15 gal all to herself. Anyway, sorry for going off on a tangent.

[brandiweed.livejournal.com]

I think she's actually writing from the heart (and not the fanny)

Do you mean "fanny" in the American or British usage?

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

(I'll go out on a limb and guess British ^__^)

[jerel.livejournal.com]

Either one fits, I think...

[tybalt-quin.livejournal.com]

British.

:waves British flag:

:D

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

You can buy love, and it's warm, and furry, and it loves you when you are silly, and it never, ever, sees you as a failure.

Oh my god. That made me really, really sad. Is this woman so low in self esteem, STILL? After all this? The sales, and the rabid fans, and the... oh my god. Is that what this is all about?

My kitty made me feel good because he was fuzzy, and cute, and purred, and I took care of him because HE needed ME, to feed him and take him to the vet, not because he assuaged some feelings of... feeling crappy about myself. That's a f*ckload of responsibility to put on a poor speechless animal.

I mean, I'm not really surprised, but damn does this bring it all home.

Oh my god, what level has this brought me to Poor Laurell.

[ravenclaw-devi.livejournal.com]

She's right about the "don't buy 'designer dogs', there are already too many dogs ending up in rescues or worse" part, though. Broken clock, twice a day, and all.

[entropyastaroth.livejournal.com]

I don't know, I think people should buy the pet they want. If everyone only got dogs and cats they really truly wanted and could care for, there wouldn't be as many abandoned ones. As a member of breeder circles I had this conversations so many times. I don't like when people blame me for all the pets no one wants because I bought a purebreed kitten. I want a pet from a serious breeder who spent a lot of time on it or no one at all. Just a pet peeve of mine ;)

[ravenclaw-devi.livejournal.com]

They should buy the pet they want, but if they specifically want a mutt (and that's what a "puggle" or "labradoodle" is), there's no reason to not get one from a shelter. And of course there's a difference between serious breeders who care and puppy mills, and I'm not blaming the former for anything, in case you got me wrong.

[brightlyiburn.livejournal.com]

Actually, there's a very good and also very unfortunate (oxymoron, I know, bear with me) reason not to get certain pets at a shelter. When I say shelter, I don't mean places like the SPCA, either.

You can bring home some pretty bad illnesses. For example, you can bring feline leukemia, not just into your own home but into others, as well. It's contagious and pretty horrible for cats to go through.

There's a lot of issues when it comes to pets without homes, and one of them is that people often can't afford to get their pets fixed. Then said pets get out and then next thing you know, oodles of puppies or kittens. It would help a lot if getting one's pet fixed was easier.

[christraven.livejournal.com]

Not to mention the fact that sometimes shelter animals can have some pretty bad emotional issues that require special attention that the average family cannot/may not be able to provide. Especially if the rescue is from an abusive home...

(sorry, long time lurker... This is an important issue to me, particularly as I'm entering the Vet Tech program this autumn)

[easol.livejournal.com]

I'll second that. My baby brother almost got mauled a few years ago by a dog that hated anything male, just because the poor little guy was standing in the same yard -- if the dog's leash hadn't been just short enough, it would have seriously injured or killed him.

Even so, it was very traumatic and he only recently got over the bulk of his phobia about dogs, thanks to a friendly mastiff that lives near us. Unsurprisingly, the dog had to be put down. They couldn't rehabilitate it.

[saucyirishlass.livejournal.com]

Don't run out and buy a puggle, please. Especially, not just because I said Jimmy lived a long time.

Does she really think that someone would do that, run out and buy a dog just because she said she had one who lived a long time? Bitch, please.

Also, we've got an extra comma here. Free to a good home.

[sevariusjr.livejournal.com]

You can buy love, and it's warm, and furry, and it loves you when you are silly, and it never, ever, sees you as a failure.


Boy, if this sentence doesn't speak volumes.

I mean, do get what she's TRYING to say - the love you receive from a dog is almost entirely unrequited. Everyone in the world could hate you, but your dog will still view you as something of a minor deity, lavishing love and devotion on you.

But Jesus CHRIST, Laurell. Some of us actually have enough self-esteem that we don't ALWAYS need some other living being out there to make us feel like we're a complete human being.

[wyrdmuse.livejournal.com]

Remember, for many people in America today that dog is going to be with you when your spouse is not,

But in Europe, they're surgically implanting dogs so that they can be with you even when you're with your spouse.

[easol.livejournal.com]

*snorts milk out of her nose*

[sevariusjr.livejournal.com]

And in Soviet Russia, dog walk YOU!

[drho.livejournal.com]

*LOL*

[shadowbloodwing.livejournal.com]

Okay, this woman seriously does NOT need a pet. Or to be writing if she's trying to put Edward anywhere near the Crotch-o-Doom.