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Danse Macabre Snark, ch 8
Apr. 15th, 2014 04:49 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
yaoihuntresse.livejournal.comIn my PDF, chapters 8 and 9 are mirged together so I'm taking a guess where chapter 8 would end.
( Here it is )
( Here it is )
yaoihuntresse.livejournal.com
Danse Macabre Snark, ch 7, pt 2
Apr. 14th, 2014 07:56 pmyaoihuntresse.livejournal.comHere's the second half of this rather long chapter. How can this woman be such a boring writer?
( Prepare for boredom )
( Prepare for boredom )
Danse Macabre Snark, ch 7
Apr. 13th, 2014 08:33 pmyaoihuntresse.livejournal.comSince this chapter is kind of long, I'm going to do it in two parts.
( Chapter 7, pt 1 )
( Chapter 7, pt 1 )
Danse Macabre Snark, ch 6
Apr. 12th, 2014 03:53 pmyaoihuntresse.livejournal.comThanks to everyone who's following this and I hope I'm doing ok with toning down the jokes.
( Chapter 6 )
( Chapter 6 )
Danse Macabre Snark, ch 3
Apr. 10th, 2014 03:18 pmyaoihuntresse.livejournal.comI'm going to try to only post these once a day or every otherday. Thanks for putting up with this.
( Chapter 3 )
( Chapter 3 )
Danse Macabre Snark, ch 2
Apr. 9th, 2014 08:07 pmyaoihuntresse.livejournal.comNow on to chapter 2. A person on the forum I frequent told me this story is like watching a poorly-made soap opera staring Gary Busey. Actually, having him play Anita would be funny, especially if they put no effort into his costume and just slapped on a wig and stuffed some pillows down his shirt.
( Chapter 2 )
( Chapter 2 )
Danse Macabre Snark,pt2 of ch 1
Apr. 9th, 2014 12:09 amyaoihuntresse.livejournal.comFirst of all, I want to thank those that gave some honest advice and I promise that I will watch myself with the later stuff. So I did some editing from my original one and hope you like it.
( the last of chapter 1 )
( the last of chapter 1 )
Danse Macabre Snark, ch 1
Apr. 8th, 2014 02:29 pmyaoihuntresse.livejournal.comI was aching to do a riffing, sporking, MSTing or whatever they call it now and decided to do it on one of Ms. Hamilton's works, The Danse Macabre. The snark is posted up on the Project A.F.T.E.R. forums (along with some others I've done), but I thought I'd share it here. I have this thing where I play a bit of a vainer, more screwed-up version myself (jokingly refer to the readers as my "love-slaves".).
I'm also directly copying and pasting the words from the book from a free pdf file of the story. So I'm keeping any of the spelling and grammatical errors it has. I'll admit, one of the jokes does push some good taste boundaries since I'm not a 100% sure how sensitive this LJ community is, I figured there would be a warning. Anyway, I hope you like it.
( Now for the first part )
I'm also directly copying and pasting the words from the book from a free pdf file of the story. So I'm keeping any of the spelling and grammatical errors it has. I'll admit, one of the jokes does push some good taste boundaries since I'm not a 100% sure how sensitive this LJ community is, I figured there would be a warning. Anyway, I hope you like it.
( Now for the first part )
Sweet Zombie Baby Jesus Is She FOR REAL?
Jan. 4th, 2012 07:01 pmsweetalbatross.livejournal.comWell, I was a fool and tried to read NiC.
Made it 200 pages, stopped, and banished the four books I owned to backs of my case right with SMeyer's work. Which did not hurt my head as much btw
( Cut for ranting and some TMI )
Made it 200 pages, stopped, and banished the four books I owned to backs of my case right with SMeyer's work. Which did not hurt my head as much btw
( Cut for ranting and some TMI )
Why? Just... why?
Jul. 11th, 2011 07:00 pmaikikaz.livejournal.comThis is partly a vent and partly a serious question - when it comes to LKH I can easily remember lots of things I don't want to but -know- I've forgotten bits of interest. So if anyone can think of something minor or major I've missed, please let me know. I'm all in favour of things making a bit more sense! Be warned though - this ramble has been building up for a while so it's long, a bit disconnected and kinda cuss-ridden. Sorry. ( For example... )
Lust Paint, And So On.
Jan. 16th, 2009 03:53 pmkynekh-amagire.livejournal.comThere are a number of books I consider to be "bad" that I nevertheless re-read regularly: many of them have the immediate effect of inspiring me to try to write something better. Most of the recent additions to Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake series are not on that list, but nevertheless, I keep re-reading the damn things because I can't remember what the hell happens in them. Obviously something must have, if there were four or five hundred pages written about it, but the actual details of the latter-day Anitas just leak immediately out of my head if I put the book down and turn around too fast. (Perhaps it's a coping mechanism.)
So, in effect, every time I read the books, it's like reading them the first time. The upside is that I always have a vaguely entertaining (if in a rather twisted lulz-y way) fallback once I've read everything else in my house that sounds decent and need a book in a hurry. The downside, of course, is that I forget the best (worst?) lines.
( So I thought I'd better write them down this time. )
So, in effect, every time I read the books, it's like reading them the first time. The upside is that I always have a vaguely entertaining (if in a rather twisted lulz-y way) fallback once I've read everything else in my house that sounds decent and need a book in a hurry. The downside, of course, is that I forget the best (worst?) lines.
( So I thought I'd better write them down this time. )
Anita Blake: Case of the Missing Plot
Jan. 7th, 2009 03:14 pmmedicineseller9.livejournal.comInconsistencies run through a lot of LKH’s works. In an early Merry book, she referenced a character called Nicca as having purple hair and colouring, and when he actually appears as one of the harem later on, he has suddenly turned brown. Hannah became Candy for no reason. And what looked to be promising plots disappeared under a welter of writhing bodies, spilling sheets, and copious fluids of dubious origin – I am particularly disturbed by the gelatinous goop that seems to come from nowhere when the lycanthropes change, like ectoplasm from a nineteenth century medium, as there seems to be no biological basis for it. If you’re going to get bodily by-products on the sheets, they ought to be realistic.
( Proceed to the horror... )
brightlotusmoon.livejournal.comAs some of you have seen, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kippurbird has been flogging Danse Macabre something fierce. The flog is now on Chapter 33. While the whole thing made me laugh, there was a little joke that made me want to post it here, with Kippur's permission:
How does Anita Blake change a light bulb?
She holds it up and the world revolves around her.
This, I think, sums up everything about the Anita Blake books. As well as Hamilton's life, really. Or what she thinks of as her life. As Kippur said, the self-centeredness of both Anita and Laurell are starting to really grate.
The scene with London being forced to have sex with Anita actually scared me, especially considering London's obvious reluctance and outright fear. From what I got out of it, Anita essentially raped London, and didn't even care how it had affected him. I'd told Kippur that I'd once had a friend who had been a rape victim more than once, and one of her rapists had been an ex-boyfriend with a cocaine addiction. When my friend read that scene, she started having severe flashbacks to both the rape and watching the boyfriend's addiction, because she saw Anita's ardeur as a metaphor for a date rape drug as addictive as cocaine.
It's so frustrating -- and frightening -- to think that LKH writes this crap probably knowing full well that it could compare to such serious trauma.
kippurbird has been flogging Danse Macabre something fierce. The flog is now on Chapter 33. While the whole thing made me laugh, there was a little joke that made me want to post it here, with Kippur's permission:How does Anita Blake change a light bulb?
She holds it up and the world revolves around her.
This, I think, sums up everything about the Anita Blake books. As well as Hamilton's life, really. Or what she thinks of as her life. As Kippur said, the self-centeredness of both Anita and Laurell are starting to really grate.
The scene with London being forced to have sex with Anita actually scared me, especially considering London's obvious reluctance and outright fear. From what I got out of it, Anita essentially raped London, and didn't even care how it had affected him. I'd told Kippur that I'd once had a friend who had been a rape victim more than once, and one of her rapists had been an ex-boyfriend with a cocaine addiction. When my friend read that scene, she started having severe flashbacks to both the rape and watching the boyfriend's addiction, because she saw Anita's ardeur as a metaphor for a date rape drug as addictive as cocaine.
It's so frustrating -- and frightening -- to think that LKH writes this crap probably knowing full well that it could compare to such serious trauma.
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pandorasblogThe last book I read was Incubus Dreams, and that was more than three years ago. Even it was more fun than Danse Macabre, which I just journalled on BookCrossing when I got the book as part of a bookring (better than giving royalties to LKH)... this is my review:
( Cut for lengthiness. As the book should have been... oh, and beware of spoilers. )
( Cut for lengthiness. As the book should have been... oh, and beware of spoilers. )
LIt Crit Ahoy
Mar. 7th, 2008 07:10 amdelphinapterus.livejournal.comSince I lack something witty to say I come bearing a link to some hilarious lit crit of Danse Macabre. It's very different than the recap snark that the wonderful sharkbytes does.
"First off long hair to the waist/butt is a typical Sue trait. . . .Ronnie got about three lines of description scattered through out the chapter. Micah here gets an entire bloody paragraph. Can you say Stu? I knew you could."
sharkbytes does."First off long hair to the waist/butt is a typical Sue trait. . . .Ronnie got about three lines of description scattered through out the chapter. Micah here gets an entire bloody paragraph. Can you say Stu? I knew you could."
Snark: Danse Macabre Final Chapters
Sep. 23rd, 2007 03:10 amsharkbytes.livejournal.com Good evening lashers** I took a short break from snarking The Harlequin to finally finish up Danse Macabre. It's been bothering me that the funniest chapters in the book still remained unsnarked, and so now, here are the final chapters (46-55) of Danse Macabre, fully snarked and ready to be flogged to pieces.
Be warned, this is a really long post, because I wanted to get the rest of this book finished in one shot. However, it is the "climax" and the actual scene of the ballet, which is some of the most unintentionally funny prose I've read in years. I really can't wait to see what some of you have to say about it =)
For those of you new to these, you can simply click on the tags to find all previously snarked chapters, as well as those for The Harlequin. I'll resume TH in my very next post. As always, LKH quotes in boldface, myself in regular font.
Be warned, this is a really long post, because I wanted to get the rest of this book finished in one shot. However, it is the "climax" and the actual scene of the ballet, which is some of the most unintentionally funny prose I've read in years. I really can't wait to see what some of you have to say about it =)
For those of you new to these, you can simply click on the tags to find all previously snarked chapters, as well as those for The Harlequin. I'll resume TH in my very next post. As always, LKH quotes in boldface, myself in regular font.
Best Amazon.com review of DM, EVAR!
Jan. 22nd, 2007 04:54 pmmisora.livejournal.comCall me crazy, but I love-love-LOVE reading the snarky and pissed-off Amazon reviews of Hamilton's latest AB works. I seriously do this when I'm at my desk from breaks in the lab. It relaxes me; I'm dead serious. It's my Guilty Pleasure (TM). ^^
So I found a rather good one, today, and thought I'd share:
So I found a rather good one, today, and thought I'd share:
Orgasms, anyone?
Jan. 12th, 2007 11:29 pmrelmneiko.livejournal.comPartly for a lark, partly for nostalgia, I went and started reading 'Danse Macabre' after having sworn never to read another LKH book after Narcissus in Chains. Really, I thought, How bad could it be?
Oh, it was that bad. I could take it, though, right up until the absolutely ridiculous sex scene with Anita, Jean-Claude, Nathaniel, Micah... am I missing anyone? I think that was all - but oh. My. God.
Oh, it was that bad. I could take it, though, right up until the absolutely ridiculous sex scene with Anita, Jean-Claude, Nathaniel, Micah... am I missing anyone? I think that was all - but oh. My. God.
new danse macabre snark
Dec. 30th, 2006 11:12 pmdracoliciousss.livejournal.comFresh from the oven, here's chapter 26 of Danse Macabre, snarked and ridiculed. I'd like to wish all the lashers a happy new year, and i look forward to the laughs to come in '07. I won't be posting Chapter 27 until i wake up on Jan. 1, which will probably be rather late. Hope you enjoy~
