If the embed doesn't work, the link is HERE. For those who don't want to sit through 90mins of LKH talking or have issues with the audio, mod has done a thorough transcription: DOC and RTF format. It's too long to post to the comm in its entirety but we wanted it to be available.
( Highlights in brief. )
Subtle_shades said she had a crack theory that his bloodline power was stealing the powers of other vampires and I was like WAIT THAT'S NOT CRACKY AT ALL, THAT MAKES SENSE! We know Anita got the ardeur by being the Human Servant of JC, right? (Not something that usually happens with Human Servants, or ever before her because she's special, but most due to her being a necromancer is the in-universe theory as to how/why, I believe) And we learned in Bullet that she's basically like Rogue of the X-Men to vampires, permanently stealing any vamp power used against her, hence why she can call beasts like Padma, eat fear and anger like the Moroven and the Dragon, and do the life-draining thing like Obsidian Butterfly. Maybe that's not her power. Maybe stealing powers is JC's bloodline ability, and the reason she has it is the same reason she has the ardeur, through a tie to him while being a necromancer. Makes sense, right? It's my headcanon too now!
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( There be snark and spoilers behind the cut )
This is my first post here, so if I tagged or titled this entry wrong, please correct me. Thank you!
32 reviewers aren't wrong. This is literally one sex scene that was rejected from being added to the published books, coupled with some of LKH's cut-and-paste backstory in case you can't keep track of all the bland men in Anita's life.
Even the cover labels it an "outtake" which apparently means, "we didn't know what to do with this so we decided to see if people would pay $2.99 to download it it." No excuses yet for why Anita is apparently a brown-haired blue-eyed unscarred tan-but-white lady. I kind of like the cover, though. It's not pretending that anything is happening in this story but everyone lounging around and focusing on Anita. Plus, the writing superimposed over her chest makes it look like they just said "fuck this book, I don't even care" and stole an image off a stock photo site.
Disclaimer: This blog entry is verbatim, as originally posted on LKH's blog. Copyright belongs to Ma Petite Enterprises.
So many of you have asked, or said, you can’t wait until it comes out, so . . . Here’s a sneak peek at Beauty the too hot to handle outtake from Kiss the Dead which comes out as an eSpecial May 8, 2012:
“I finally let myself look at that face, and I felt like I had from almost the first moment I’d seen him, that he was simply one of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen. The black curls touched the edge of his face, as if bringing attention to the curve of his mouth, the line of his cheek, and those eyes. They always looked blue, but they were so dark. Midnight blue with their double edge of black eyelashes like dark lace to frame the deepest blue I’d ever seen in anyone’s eyes. His eyes were a blue like deep ocean water, where it runs cold and will eventually spill down into something warm and mysterious, where creatures the light has never seen live and thrive. Those gorgeous eyes looked at me, and there was love in them, but the second he saw me in the doorway, walking toward him, there was lust, desire, and just a heat that brought a blush to my face and an answering heat to my own eyes. Six years after we’d first started dating I was still a little amazed that this most lovely of men wanted me so badly. They talked about burning for each other, and we still did. I never seemed to get over the surprise of turning around and seeing him there. You’d think I’d get used to seeing such a beautiful man and knowing he was mine, but it never grew old, as if his beauty and the fact that he was mine, and I was his, would forever surprise me.”
The steamy outtake that takes readers even further into Laurell K. Hamilton’s bestselling novel, Kiss the Dead.I'm starting to wonder if this is what we get instead of the first chapter posted free on LKH's website? Given the revised drop date, Beauty comes out one month before Kiss the Dead. There has been zero chatter about what Beauty even is -- the closest I've found was just a couple of days ago over at the forum, and even then the mod couldn't actually confirm what the book was about unless she got word from Laurell herself. This whole thing strikes me as incredibly weird.
You’d think I’d get used to seeing such a beautiful man and knowing he was mine, but it never grew old, as if his beauty and the fact that he was mine, and I was his, would forever surprise me.
With a vampire like Jean Claude around, it’s far too easy for Anita Blake to doubt her own appearance—and the hold it has on those who love her. But one hot tub and two incredibly sexy men—Jean Claude and Asher—will make her feel like the most lusted-after woman alive…or undead. Not bad for a mere human…
“Hamilton remains one of the most inventive and exciting writers in the paranormal field.”—Charlaine Harris, #1 New York Times Bestselling Author
Includes an excerpt of Kiss the Dead, the new Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter novel.
That said, yes I am going to try to get my hands on this as soon as possible. For science or great justice or something.
- Belle Morte uses glamor so that no matter what the current time is, she appears to the eyes of others as being the epitome of the current beauty standards. And the reason that Anita sees her as looking notably like Anita is because to Anita, for all her whining about oh noes tall skinny blondes, does indeed consider herself to be the height of female beauty.
- Raina is still around in Anita's head as a munin, and it is her slow, subtle corruption that has made Anita into what she now is
- Or this all just Anita's most ID-level fantasies that she believes are really happening, but actually aren't. It's just Jean-Claude manipulating her mind so he can use her as a pawn.
-Or it's an ongoing delusion due to Anita having contracted some supernatural STD (hey, even just regular syphilis can make you crazy!) and JC is still manipulating it to his ends, in any case, if she isn't in a mental hospital.
- Anne Rice books and the Twilight series and other supernatural-themed books either were never written in the ABverse, or, if they were, do not enjoy at all the same popularity because of the existence of real vampires cutting into the fantasy on a number of levels.
-MELANIE IS STILL FUCKING WAITING AND PLANNING AND GOING TO GET YOU, ANITA. She swore, and immortals probably don't feel a need to get their vengeance fast.
- There is another group of werehyenas in St. Louis, made up of all the females that Narcissus wouldn't let join. Except that's not actually how it happened. He didn't kick them out, they kicked HIM out because he kept stealing their shampoo and high heels.
- While both the tigers and the hyenas are matriarchies, they are matriarchies in very different ways. My headcanon for why tigers are female-ruled is that since they are so rare and so focused on preserving their species, their women became regarded nigh-sacred for their ability to give birth and carry on the bloodlines. And of course that is ultimately sexist against women because it's basing their value on their reproductive ability, but I think that it makes sense for weretigers in this universe, and I think that instead of settling for being exploited as brood mares, the tiger ladies instead decided to grab hold of this idea and use it to their advantage, ultimately resulting in a society where "well, us women are responsible for continuing the species, so it makes sense to have us responsible for the species as a whole, which meanings ruling and making decisions and Mother Knows Best" and probably a lot of emphasis on fertility and creation as power, as women as a life-source, women as the only sex strong enough to have a baby, etc.
But in the case of hyenas, I think it's more instinctual. In the wild, hyenas (as in the actual animal) are female-dominated naturally. Even a male who is larger than a female will usually submit to her without a fight. Since hyenas don't have one mass culture with a history of traditions like tigers do, nor a problem with rareness, I think that every time a new hyena group organizes they just naturally find themselves with the dominant women being in charge by what seems by chance but is in fact their inner instincts, whether they realize it or not, manipulating things in that way. I think that some groups would have no particular views on matriarchy and would instead just accept it, while others would instead take a more Amazonian point of view, emphasizing the strength and power of female hyenas in combat as why they are suited to be in charge of the group, protecting them from threats and leading them in battles, with probably nothing much to say (unlike the tigers) about birth-giving, since it's not going to be an important deal to them as it is with the tigers.
When Anita Blake meets with prospective client Tony Bennington, who is desperate to have her reanimate his recently deceased wife, she is full of sympathy for his loss. Anita knows something about love, and she knows everything there is to know about loss. But what she also knows, though Tony Bennington seems unwilling to be convinced, is that the thing she can do as a necromancer isn't the miracle he thinks he needs. The creature that Anita could coerce to step out of the late Mrs. Bennington's grave would not be the lovely Mrs. Bennington. Not really. And not for long.This just makes me think that Anita will stand on the edge of the grave and wave Scooby Snacks over it, or have a fishing pole with marshmallows on the hooks while she coos, "c'mon, if you don't get out of your grave, I'm going to kick your dog."
It also says this about the book's release date:
I had to ask someone just in case it was a strange American crazy vowel thing, but apparently not. Oh dear.
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If I recall correctly, when Anita started with Jean Claude, there was some talk of Vlad Syndrome (and later on something called Mowgli Syndrome if a woman conceives with a lycanthrope in animal form). it was omggod horrible, oh the poor children, yadda yadda yadda.
Has any of this been addressed after those mentions, and what Anita's doing to prevent pregnancy? God knows she's too sparkly and special to get an STD...
(please forgive if this has already been addressed. I did try to find it in the archives, but my googlefu/tagfu has failed me)
I had a thought about everyone's favorite DoomCrotch while chatting and writing a fanfic snippet, specifically, about the powers she gained from her vampire marks with JC and/or the tri with the Frenchy Pussy, as well as something about Jean-Claude himself. Now, correct me if I'm wrong on this:
Anita became infected with the ardeur when JC gave her the marks, and these marks also bind her to him, with the result being that the death of herself (*snerk*) or Jean-Claude would kill or injure the other.
Since we know Laurell would never kill her darling skanky necromancer, my thought was about what if Jean-Claude was killed. We already know that Anita will sadly likely survive whatever happens to her, if Anita lived and Frenchy died, would the marks given to her be removed, along with whatever vampire powers she got from (shagging) him, especially the ardeur? Imagine if she no longer had the ardeur, in the hands of a better writer, she'd have to face up to the fact that she sexes up all those men because she wants to, not because some incubus power makes her need it to survive. More likely, though, it wouldn't even occur to her that she might not have the ardeur anymore, then she tries to sex up her men...
Meanwhile, on Jean-Claude, I wondered something about him since (I think) he seems to have now become the founder of his own bloodline. If Jean-Claude, or any other 'fount' vampire, where to be killed or died after becoming the founder of a bloodline, what would happen to the vampires descended from them?
I apologize if any of thiis has been covered in the books, but frankly, this comm is populated by braver souls than I in recalling or referencing book material, and much thanks to any explanation or speculation :D
However, I realised I had seen the future of Anita Blake in 1991, two years before the series started. How can this be, you might ask. I'm glad you did. Let me show you.
( This is the music video for 'Crucified' by the Swedish pop group Army of Lovers. )
Did anybody actually find any story or plot happening in this book??? To me it was sex, sex and wait! more sex and more emotional angst about a pregancy scare that didn't exist!!!!!!!!???? I'm always waiting for Claudia to get killed off somehow now that Sylvie has been sent to the broom closet to collect dust with Ronnie, Melanie, Raina and any other strong female character that so far hasn't survived far.
Also is anybody else just wanting to put a knife through Richard these days??? HE started off as not my favourite character in the world, but at least he was FAR, far better then the pathetic figure he's been reduced to in recent books. I know if was the Ulfric of the local Werewolf pack i SO wouldn't be acting the way he is. I mean fortunatly or unfortuantly i remember when Richard was the devout Boy Scout leader and was as powerful as JC or close to it. Has anybody noticed the two truely powerful guys in her life - JC and Richard - one Master Vampire and two Ulfric, have been downgraded to secondary, pussy whipped characters while Anita run's rampant over both of them, physically and magically? If u can call it magically that she fucks every guy in sight hahaha.
OOh! i just heard some awful! In her next book Anita fucks Rafael!!!! NO, NO, NO! That is not good, the last, remaining character, besides Edward, that i like, who hasn't been between Anita's legs hasn't survived the curse of Anita.